“A boy shows how much he wants to play in the spring, when it’s tough, and during two a days, when it’s hot and tough. I don’t count on the boy who waits till October, when it’s cool and fun, then decides he wants to play. Maybe he’s better than three guys ahead of him, but I know those three won’t change their minds in the fourth quarter.”
“Breaks balance out. The sun don’t shine on the same ol’ dog’s rear end every day.”
“Football doesn’t build character. It eliminates the weak ones.”
“I learned this about coaching: You don’t have to explain victory and you can’t explain defeat.”
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
“Once you cross the 50 you feel like an unsaddled horse.”
“Punt returns will kill you quicker than a minnow can swim a dipper.”
“You know, a football coach is nothing more than a teacher. You teach them the same subject, and you have a group of new guys every year.”
“You’ve got to think lucky. If you fall into a mudhole, check your back pocket – you might have caught a fish.”
“You’ve got to be in a position for luck to happen. Luck doesn’t go around looking for a stumblebum.”
“On game day, I am more nervous than a pig in a packing plant.”
“There’s an old saying, ‘You dance with who brung ya.’”
“Really, it was said about two-thirds in jest. Since we won the Arkansas and Notre Dame games with fourth-down and short-yardage passes, another image has arisen. I’ve been pictured as a man who takes chances. Two stinkin’ plays, and I’m a helluva gambler.”
“Some of them are so green you could hide ‘em on top of a lettuce leaf.”
“He could run like small-town gossip.”
“Ol’ Ugly is better than Ol’ Nothing.”
“They’re gonna come after us with their eyes pulled up like BBs.”
“There was a hornet’s nest waiting for us in Houston, and we were walking into it like Little Red Riding Hood with jam on her face.”
“Winning coaches must treat mistakes like copperheads in the bedclothes – avoid them with all the energy you can muster.”
“The best thing a coach can hope for is to please the majority. And the only way to please the majority is to win.”
“I’m pretty thin-skinned. When they say, ‘Do you want some constructive criticism?’ I say, ‘No.’”
“It’s an in-the-trench battle. It’s meat on meat, flesh on flesh and stink on stink. And that’s the only way you can play it.”
“Trends are bunk. Only angry people win football games.”
“We don’t want candy stripes on our uniforms. These are work clothes.”
“He’s as quick as a hiccup.”
“He doesn’t have a lot of speed, but maybe Elizabeth Taylor can’t sing.”
“I didn’t want to stay until I had used up all the enjoyment because that’s too long to stay anywhere.”
“I’ve had smarter people around me all my life, but I haven’t run into one yet that can outwork me. And if they can’t outwork you, then smarts aren’t going to do them much good. That’s just the way it is. And if you believe that and live by it, you’d be surprised at how much fun you can have.”
“Without winners, there wouldn’t even be any civilization.”
“There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.”
“The height of human desire is what wins, whether it’s on Normandy Beach or in Ohio Stadium.”
“I’m not coming here looking for security. I came here for the opportunity.” Upon accepting Ohio State head coaching job
“Paralyze resistance with persistence.”
“I don’t live in the past. I’m a student of the past, and I try to learn from the past, although some people will say, ‘You haven’t done a very good job of it.’ But for me to live in the past? Hell, no.'”
“A man is always better than he thinks.”
“I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying.”
“The time you give a man something he doesn’t earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”
“Success – it ‘s what you do with what you’ve got.”
“Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their players heads and motivate them.”
“I’m not trying to win a popularity poll. I’m trying to win football games. I don’t like nice people. I like tough, honest people.”
“I don’t apologize for anything. When I make a mistake, I take the blame and go on from there. I just despise to lose, and that has taken a man of mediocre ability and made a pretty good coach out of him.”
“Just remember one thing. I can do your job, but you can’t do mine.” – to an OSU professor
“I love football. I think it is most wonderful game in world and I despise to lose.”
“Nothing has changed about what makes a winner. A winner works his butt off and is dependable. He’s not always the most talented, but he gives everything on every play.”
“At Auburn, practice is Hell. But when you line up across the big, fast, smart, angry boys from Florida, and Georgia, and Alabama, where there is no quality of mercy on the ground and no place to hide, you’ll know why practice is Hell at Auburn.”
Don’t wait to be a great man. Be a great boy.”
“I don’t believe in miracles. I believe in character”
“Life is short, so don’t waste any of it carrying around a load of bitterness. It only sours your life, and the world won’t pay any attention anyway.”
“If you’re a football coach, criticism comes with the territory. If it tears you up, you better get into another profession.”
Before the 1981 Iron Bowl between Alabama and Auburn, Paul “Bear” Bryant and Pat Dye (Pat Dye coached for Paul Bryant for nine years on the Alabama staff):
Pat Dye: “Coach Bryant, before you start hugging me, you ought to know that my boys are fixing to get after y’all’s ass.”
Paul Bryant: “You ain’t trying to scare me now, are you, Pat?”
Pat Dye: “No sir, because I know you don’t get scared. I’m just telling you what we’re fixing to do.”
“A game like this, Alabama players will remember it for the rest of their lives. Auburn players…it’ll eat their guts out the rest of their lives.” Former Auburn coach Pat Dye to a reporter after Van Tiffen kicked his 52 yard field goal to beat Auburn in 1985.
“Mama wanted me to be a preacher. I told her coachin’ and preachin’ were a lot alike.”
“But it’s still a coach’s game. Make no mistake. You start at the top. If you don’t have a good one at the top, you don’t have a cut dog’s chance. If you do, the rest falls into place. You have to have good assistants, and a lot of things, but first you have to have the chairman of the board.”
“If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That’s all it takes to get people to win football games for you.”
“I think the most important thing of all for any team is a winning attitude. The coaches must have it. The players must have it. The student body must have it. If you have dedicated players who believe in themselves, you don’t need a lot of talent.”
“The idea of molding men means a lot to me.”
“You must learn how to hold a team together. You must lift some men up, calm others down, until finally they’ve got one heartbeat. Then you’ve got yourself a team.”
“If wanting to win is a fault, as some of my critics seem to insist, then I plead guilty. I like to win. I know no other way. It’s in my blood.”
“Get the winners into the game.”
“The old lessons (work, self-discipline, sacrifice, teamwork, fighting to achieve) aren’t being taught by many people other than football coaches these days. The football coach has a captive audience and can teach these lessons because the communication lines between himself and his players are more wide open than between kids and parents. We better teach these lessons or else the country’s future population will be made up of a majority of crooks, drug addicts, or people on relief.”
“Sacrifice. Work. Self-discipline. I teach these things, and my boys don’t forget them when they leave.”
“It’s not the will to win that matters – everyone has that. It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.”
“I’ll never give up on a player regardless of his ability as long as he never gives up on himself. In time he will develop.”
“Set goals – high goals for you and your organization. When your organization has a goal to shoot for, you create teamwork, people working for a common good.”
“Don’t talk too much. Don’t pop off. Don’t talk after the game until you cool off.”
“You have to learn what makes this or that Sammy run. For one it’s a pat on the back, for another it’s eating him out, for still another it’s a fatherly talk, or something else. You’re a fool if you think as I did as a young coach, that you can treat them all alike.”
“If a man is a quitter, I’d rather find out in practice than in a game. I ask for all a player has so I’ll know later what I can expect.”
“Find your own picture, your own self in anything that goes bad. It’s awfully easy to mouth off at your staff or chew out players, but if it’s bad, and you’re the head coach, you’re responsible. If we have an intercepted pass, I threw it. I’m the head coach. If we get a punt blocked, I caused it. A bad practice, a bad game, it’s up to the head coach to assume his responsibility.”
“It’s awfully important to win with humility. It’s also important to lose with humility. I hate to lose worse than anyone, but if you never lose you won’t know how to act. If you lose with humility, then you can come back.”
“Losing doesn’t make me want to quit. It makes me want to fight that much harder.”
“The biggest mistake coaches make is taking borderline cases and trying to save them. I’m not talking about grades now, I’m talking about character. I want to know before a boy enrolls about his home life, and what his parents want him to be.”
“What are you doing here? Tell me why you are here. If you are not here to win a national championship, you’re in the wrong place. You boys are special. I don’t want my players to be like other students. I want special people. You can learn a lot on the football field that isn’t taught in the home, the church, or the classroom. There are going to be days when you think you’ve got no more to give and then you’re going to give plenty more. You are going to have pride and class. You are going to be very special. You are going to win the national championship for Alabama.”
“I’m no innovator. If anything I’m a stealer, or borrower. I’ve stolen or borrowed from more people than you can shake a stick at.”
“There is no sin in not liking to play; it’s a mistake for a boy to be there if he doesn’t want to.”
“I’m no miracle man. I guarantee nothing but hard work.”
“Don’t overwork your squad. If you’re going to make a mistake, under-work them.”
“Be aware of “yes” men. Generally, they are losers. Surround yourself with winners. Never forget – people win.”
“If there is one thing that has helped me as a coach, it’s my ability to recognize winners, or good people who can become winners by paying the price.”
“You take those little rascals, talk to them good, pat them on the back, let them think they are good, and they will go out and beat the biguns.”
“If you whoop and holler all the time, the players just get used to it.”
“I know what it takes to win. If I can sell them on what it takes to win, then we are not going to lose too many football games.”
“If you want to coach you have three rules to follow to win. One, surround yourself with people who can’t live without football. I’ve had a lot of them. Two, be able to recognize winners. They come in all forms. And, three, have a plan for everything. A plan for practice, a plan for the game. A plan for being ahead, and a plan for being behind 20-0 at half, with your quarterback hurt and the phones dead, with it raining cats and dogs and no rain gear because the equipment man left it at home.”
“My approach to the game has been the same at all the places I’ve been. Vanilla. The sure way. That means, first of all, to win physically. If you got eleven on a field, and they beat the other eleven physically, they’ll win. They will start forcing mistakes. They’ll win in the fourth quarter.”
“Little things make the difference. Everyone is well prepared in the big things, but only the winners perfect the little things.”
“Scout yourself. Have a buddy who coaches scout you.”
“The first time you quit, it’s hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don’t even have to think about it.”
“But there’s one thing about quitters you have to guard against – they are contagious. If one boy goes, the chances are he’ll take somebody with him, and you don’t want that. So when they would start acting that way, I used to pack them up and get them out, or embarrass them, or do something to turn them around.”
“There’s a lot of blood, sweat, and guts between dreams and success.”
“People who are in it for their own good are individualists. They don’t share the same heartbeat that makes a team so great. A great unit, whether it be football or any organization, shares the same heartbeat.”
“I told them my system was based on the “ant plan,” that I’d gotten the idea watching a colony of ants in Africa during the war. A whole bunch of ants working toward a common goal.”
“We can’t have two standards, one set for the dedicated young men who want to do something ambitious and one set for those who don’t.”
“I honestly believe that if you are willing to out-condition the opponent, have confidence in your ability, be more aggressive than your opponent and have a genuine desire for team victory, you will become the national champions. If you have all the above, you will acquire confidence and poise, and you will have those intangibles that win the close ones.”
“If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit – you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards.”
“Don’t ever give up on ability. Don’t give up on a player who has it.”
“A good, quick, small team can beat a big, slow team any time.”
“I have always tried to teach my players to be fighters. When I say that, I don’t mean put up your dukes and get in a fistfight over something. I’m talking about facing adversity in your life. There is not a person alive who isn’t going to have some awfully bad days in their lives. I tell my players that what I mean by fighting is when your house burns down, and your wife runs off with the drummer, and you’ve lost your job and all the odds are against you. What are you going to do? Most people just lay down and quit. Well, I want my people to fight back.”
“If they don’t have a winning attitude, I don’t want them.”
“I have tried to teach them to show class, to have pride, and to display character. I think football, winning games, takes care of itself if you do that.”
“I always want my players to show class, knock’em down, pat on the back, and run back to the huddle.”
“I tell young players who want to be coaches, who think they can put up with all the headaches and heartaches, can you live without it? If you can live without it, don’t get in it.”
“Although a soldier by profession, I have never felt any sort of fondness for war, and I have never advocated it, except as a means of peace.”
“I appreciate the fact, and am proud of it, that the attentions I am receiving are intended more for our country than for me personally.”
“If you see the President, tell him from me that whatever happens there will be no turning back.”
“In every battle there comes a time when both sides consider themselves beaten, then he who continues the attack wins.”
“Labor disgraces no man; unfortunately, you occasionally find men who disgrace labor.”
“Nations, like individuals, are punished for their transgressions.”
“The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving on.”
“The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.”
“Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must each respect others even as we respect ourselves.”
“The right of revolution is an inherent one. When people are oppressed by their government, it is a natural right they enjoy to relieve themselves of oppression, if they are strong enough, whether by withdrawal from it, or by overthrowing it and substituting a government more acceptable.”
“…but for a soldier his duty is plain. He is to obey the orders of all those placed over him and whip the enemy wherever he meets him.”
“Leave the matter of religion to the family altar, the church, and the private school, supported entirely by private contributions. Keep the church and state forever separate.”
“There never was a time when, in my opinion, some way could not be found to prevent the drawing of the sword.”
“Everyone has his superstitions. One of mine has always been when I started to go anywhere, or to do anything, never to turn back or to stop until the thing intended was accomplished.”
“I never held a council of war in my life. I heard what men had to say – the stream of talk at headquarters – but I made up my own mind, and from my written orders my staff got their first knowledge of what was to be done. No living man knew of plans”
“I have acted in every instance from a conscientious desire to do what was right, constitutional, within the law, and for the very best interests of the whole people. Failures have been errors of judgment, not of intent.”
“The one thing I never want to see again is a military parade. When I resigned from the army and went to a farm I was happy. When the rebellion came, I returned to the service because it was a duty. I had no thought of rank; all I did was try and make”
“No terms except an unconditional and immediate surrender can be accepted. I propose to move immediately upon your works.” To General S.B. Buckner, Fort Donelson, February 16, 1862
“God gave us Lincoln and Liberty, let us fight for both.” A toast made by Grant before his operations in the Vicksburg Campaign, February 22, 1863
“I propose to fight it out on this line, if it takes all summer.” Dispatch to Washington, during the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House. May 11, 1864
“I propose to receive the surrender of the Army of N. Va. on the following terms, to wit: Rolls of all the officers and men to be made in duplicate. One copy to be given to an officer designated by me, the other to be retained by such officer or officers as you may designate. The officers to give their individual paroles not to take up arms against the Government of the United States until properly exchanged, and each company or regimental commander sign a like parole for the men of their commands. The arms, artillery and public property to be parked and stacked, and turned over to the officer appointed by me to receive them. This will not embrace the side-arms of the officers, nor their private horses or baggage. This done, each officer and man will be allowed to return to their homes, not to be disturbed by United States authority so long as they observe their paroles and the laws in force where they may reside.” Terms of surrender, given to General Robert E. Lee after the Battle of Appomattox Courthouse, April 9, 1865
“Though I have been trained as a soldier, and participated in many battles, there never was a time when, in my opinion, some way could not be found to prevent the drawing of the sword. I look forward to an epoch when a court, recognized by all nations, will settle international differences, instead of keeping large standing armies as they do in Europe.”
“The will of the people is the best law.”
“Oh, I am heartily tired of hearing about what Lee is going to do. Some of you always seem to think he is suddenly going to turn a double somersault, and land in our rear and on both of our flanks at the same time. Go back to your command, and try to think what we are going to do ourselves, instead of what Lee is going to do.”
I had known General Lee in the old army, and had served with him in the Mexican War; but did not suppose, owing to the difference in our age and rank, that he would remember me, while I would more naturally remember him distinctly, because he was the chief of staff of General Scott in the Mexican War.
When I had left camp that morning I had not expected so soon the result that was then taking place, and consequently was in rough garb. I was without a sword, as I usually was when on horseback on the field, and wore a soldier’s blouse for a coat, with the shoulder straps of my rank to indicate to the army who I was. When I went into the house I found General Lee. We greeted each other, and after shaking hands took our seats. I had my staff with me, a good portion of whom were in the room during the whole of the interview.
What General Lee’s feelings were I do not know. As he was a man of much dignity, with an impassible face, it was impossible to say whether he felt inwardly glad that the end had finally come, or felt sad over the result, and was too manly to show it. Whatever his feelings, they were entirely concealed from my observation; but my own feelings, which had been quite jubilant on the receipt of his letter, were sad and depressed. I felt like anything rather than rejoicing at the downfall of a foe who had fought so long and valiantly, and had suffered so much for a cause, though that cause was, I believe, one of the worst for which a people ever fought, and one for which there was the least excuse. I do not question, however, the sincerity of the great mass of those who were opposed to us.
Our conversation grew so pleasant that I almost forgot the object of our meeting. After the conversation had run on in this style for some time, General Lee called my attention to the object of our meeting, and said that he had asked for this interview for the purpose of getting from me the terms I proposed to give his army. I said that I meant merely that his army should lay down their arms, not to take them up again during the continuance of the war unless duly and properly exchanged. He said that he had so understood my letter. Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant, 1885
“The cause of the great War of the Rebellion against the United Status will have to be attributed to slavery. For some years before the war began it was a trite saying among some politicians that “A state half slave and half free cannot exist.” All must become slave or all free, or the state will go down. I took no part myself in any such view of the case at the time, but since the war is over, reviewing the whole question, I have come to the conclusion that the saying is quite true.”
We must go back to the campaigns of Napoleon to find equally brillant results accomplished in the same space of time with such a small loss. Francis Vinton Greene in The Mississippi (1882) on Grant’s role in the Vicksburg campaign
If Grant only does this thing right down there — I don’t care how, so long as he does it right — why, Grant is my man and I am his the rest of the war! Abraham Lincoln on Grant’s Vicksburg campaign, July 5, 1863
I wish some of you would tell me the brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals. Statement attributed to Abraham Lincoln in response to complaints about Grant’s drinking habits, November 1863
“He (Grant) habitually wears an expression as if he had determined to drive his head through a brick wall, and was about to do it.” Col. Theodore Lyman. in Meade’s headquarters, 1863-1865
“Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and, when summoned away, to leave without regret.”
“I have been up to see the Congress and they do not seem to be able to do anything except to eat peanuts and chew tobacco, while my army is starving.”
“In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me light and strength.”
“I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself.”
“I tremble for my country when I hear of confidence expressed in me. I know too well my weakness, that our only hope is in God.”
“The trite saying that honesty is the best policy has met with the just criticism that honesty is not policy. The real honest man is honest from conviction of what is right, not from policy.”
“It is well that war is so terrible. We should grow too fond of it.”
“Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less.”
“I think it better to do right, even if we suffer in so doing, than to incur the reproach of our consciences and posterity.”
“We must expect reverses, even defeats. They are sent to teach us wisdom and prudence, to call forth greater energies, and to prevent our falling into greater disasters.”
“Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or to keep one.”
“I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.”
“What a cruel thing war is… to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors.”
“We have fought this fight as long, and as well as we know how. We have been defeated. For us as a Christian people, there is now but one course to pursue. We must accept the situation.”
“The education of a man is never completed until he dies.”
“We failed, but in the good providence of God apparent failure often proves a blessing.”
“A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.”
“So far from engaging in a war to perpetuate slavery, I am rejoiced that Slavery is abolished. I believe it will be greatly for the interest of the South. So fully am I satisfied of this that I would have cheerfully lost all that I have lost by the war, and have suffered all that I have suffered to have this object attained.”
“There is no more dangerous experiment than that of undertaking to be one thing before a man’s face and another behind his back.”
“In this enlightened age, there are few I believe, but what will acknowledge, that slavery as an institution, is a moral & political evil in any Country. It is useless to expatiate on its disadvantages. I think it however a greater evil to the white man than to the black race, & while my feelings are strongly enlisted in behalf of the latter, my sympathies are more strong for the former. The blacks are immeasurably better off here than in Africa, morally, socially & physically. The painful discipline they are undergoing, is necessary for their instruction as a race, & I hope will prepare & lead them to better things. How long their subjugation may be necessary is known & ordered by a wise Merciful Providence.”
“What a cruel thing is war; to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbours, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world! I pray that, on this day when only peace and good-will are preached to mankind, better thoughts may fill the hearts of our enemies and turn them to peace. … My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.”
“You must be frank with the world; frankness is the child of honesty and courage. Say just what you mean to do on every occasion, and take it for granted you mean to do right … Never do anything wrong to make a friend or keep one; the man who requires you to do so, is dearly purchased at a sacrifice. Deal kindly, but firmly with all your classmates; you will find it the policy which wears best. Above all do not appear to others what you are not.”
“It is good that war is so horrible, or we might grow to like it.”
“Obedience to lawful authority is the foundation of manly character.”
“America is the most inventive country in the world because everybody has access to information.”
“Fighting wars is not so much about killing people as it is about finding things out. The more you know, the more likely you are to win a battle.”
“I was one of the first generations to watch television. TV exposes people to news, to information, to knowledge, to entertainment. How is it bad?”
“I’ve made up stuff that’s turned out to be real, that’s the spooky part.”
“In the Soviet Union it was illegal to take a photograph of a train station. Look what happened to them. They tried to classify everything.”
“It’s not right to say that our loss in Vietnam turned out to be a gain. But lessons were learned. And they were the right lessons.”
“Life is about learning; when you stop learning, you die.”
“Man is a creature of hope and invention, both of which belie the idea that things cannot be changed.”
“No matter what you or anyone else does, there will be someone who says that there’s something bad about it.”
“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.”
“People live longer today than they ever have. They live happier lives, have more knowledge, more information. All this is the result of communications technology. How is any of that bad?”
“Probably what pushed the Russians over the edge was SDI. They realized they couldn’t beat us.”
“Show me an elitist, and I’ll show you a loser.”
“The control of information is something the elite always does, particularly in a despotic form of government. Information, knowledge, is power. If you can control information, you can control people.”
“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”
“The good old days are now.”
“The human condition today is better than it’s ever been, and technology is one of the reasons for that.”
“The U.S. Military is us. There is no truer representation of a country than the people that it sends into the field to fight for it. The people who wear our uniform and carry our rifles into combat are our kids, and our job is to support them, because they’re protecting us.”
“There are two kinds of people: the ones who need to be told and the ones who figure it out all by themselves.”
“There used to be this country called the Soviet Union; it’s not there anymore. Our technology was better than theirs.”
“There was a time when nails were high-tech. There was a time when people had to be told how to use a telephone. Technology is just a tool. People use tools to improve their lives.”
“Whenever somebody comes up with a good idea, there’s somebody else who has never had a good idea in his life who stands up and says, Oh, you can’t do that.”
“A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard.”
“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
“I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut.”
“Happiness is working with Jack Lemmon.”
“I’d worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.”
“Now, what is it which makes a scene interesting? If you see a man coming through a doorway, it means nothing. If you see him coming through a window – that is at once interesting.”
“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.”
“Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.”
“The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that Hitler was a German and Beethoven an Austrian.”
“If there’s anything I hate more than not being taken seriously, it’s being taken too seriously.”
“My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie?”
“One’s too many, and a hundred’s not enough.”
“France is the country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper.”
“You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.”
“An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark – that is critical genius.”
“Don’t be too clever for an audience. Make it obvious. Make the subtleties obvious also.”
“We are on the track of something absolutely mediocre.”
“The best director is the one you don’t see.”
“They’ve tried to manufacture other Marilyn Monroes and they will undoubtedly keep trying. But it won’t work. She was an original.”
“A bad play folds and is forgotten, but in pictures we don’t bury our dead. When you think it’s out of your system, your daughter sees it on television and says, My father is an idiot.”
“Eighty percent of a picture is writing, the other twenty percent is the execution, such as having the camera on the right spot and being able to afford to have good actors in all parts.”
“The truth always reveals itself.”
“Love is the hardest thing in the world to write about. So simple. You’ve got to catch it through details, like the early morning sunlight hitting the gray tin of the rain spout in front of her house. The ringing of a telephone that sounds like Beethoven’s “Pastoral.” A letter scribbled on her office stationery that you carry around in your pocket because it smells of all the lilacs in Ohio.”
“I never overestimate the audience, nor do I underestimate them. I just have a very rational idea as to who we’re dealing with, and that we’re not making a picture for Harvard Law School, we’re making a picture for middle-class people, the people that you see on the subway, or the people that you see in a restaurant. Just normal people.”
“If you don’t like what you’re doing, it’s unlikely anyone else will either, so be sure you are happy with your own work first.”
“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”
“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbour he is making for, no wind is the right wind.”
“A physician is not angry at the intemperance of a mad patient, nor does he take it ill to be railed at by a man in fever. Just so should a wise man treat all mankind, as a physician does his patient, and look upon them only as sick and extravagant.”
“Life is the fire that burns and the sun that gives light. Life is the wind and the rain and the thunder in the sky. Life is matter and is earth, what is and what is not, and what beyond is in Eternity.”
“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.”
“It is quality rather than quantity that matters.”
“It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.”
“Life’s like a play: it’s not the length, but the excellence of the acting that matters.”
“Love in its essence is spiritual fire.”
“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.”
“A happy life is one which is in accordance with its own nature.”
“A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer’s hand.”
“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”
“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.”
“A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.”
“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.”
“Everything is the product of one universal creative effort. There is nothing dead in Nature. Everything is organic and living, and therefore the whole world appears to be a living organism.”
“The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity.”
“Wisdom does not show itself so much in precept as in life – in firmness of mind and a mastery of appetite. It teaches us to do as well as to talk; and to make our words and actions all of a color.”
“Expecting is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today.”
“There is no person so severely punished, as those who subject themselves to the whip of their own remorse.”
“Shall I tell you what the real evil is? To cringe to the things that are called evils, to surrender to them our freedom, in defiance of which we ought to face any suffering.”
“There is no great genius without some touch of madness.”
“Nothing is so wretched or foolish as to anticipate misfortunes. What madness is it to be expecting evil before it comes.”
“Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk.”
“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
“Everywhere means nowhere. When a person spends all his time in foreign travel, he ends by having many acquaintances, but no friends.”
“Live among men as if God beheld you; speak with God as if men were listening.”
“Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man’s power to live long.”
“God is near you, with you, and in you. Thus I say, Lucilius: there sits a holy spirit within us, a watcher of our right and wrong doing, and a guardian…”
“Treat your inferiors as you would be treated by your betters.”
“You can tell the character of every man when you see how he gives and receives praise.”
“A good advertisement is one which sells the product without drawing attention to itself.”
“The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife. You insult her intelligence if you assume that a mere slogan and a few vapid adjectives will persuade her to buy anything. She wants all the information you can give her.”
“In the modern world of business, it is useless to be a creative, original thinker unless you can also sell what you create.”
“The more informative your advertising, the more persuasive it will be.”
‘If each of us hires people who are smaller than we are, we shall become a company of dwarfs. But if each of us hires people who are bigger than we are, we shall become a company of giants.”
“Hire people who are better than you are, then leave them to get on with it. Look for people who will aim for the remarkable, who will not settle for the routine.”
“Leaders grasp nettles.”
“The pursuit of excellence is less profitable than the pursuit of bigness, but it can be more satisfying.”
“The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.”
“Develop your eccentricities while you are young. That way, when you get old, people won’t think you’re going gaga.”
“If it doesn’t sell, it isn’t creative.”
“Don’t bunt. Aim out of the ball park. Aim for the company of immortals.”
“Never write an advertisement which you wouldn’t want your family to read. You wouldn’t tell lies to your own wife. Don’t tell them to mine.”
“Advertising is a business of words, but advertising agencies are infested with men and women who cannot write. They cannot write advertisements, and they cannot write plans. They are helpless as deaf mutes on the stage of the Metropolitan Opera.”
“First, make yourself a reputation for being a creative genius. Second, surround yourself with partners who are better than you are. Third, leave them to go get on with it.”
“Ninety-nine percent of advertising doesn’t sell much of anything.”
“I don’t know the rules of grammar… If you’re trying to persuade people to do something, or buy something, it seems to me you should use their language, the language they use every day, the language in which they think. We try to write in the vernacular.”
“There are very few men of genius in advertising agencies. But we need all we can find. Almost without exception they are disagreeable. Don’t destroy them. They lay golden eggs.”
“Good copy can’t be written with tongue in cheek, written just for a living. You’ve got to believe in the product.”
Thanks Commissioner Mike Slive for all Your Great Work and the Exemplary Life You Lived!
“The hostile atmospheres when you play on the road in this league are incomparable. If you can go through that [undefeated] and win this game, you deserve to be in the national championship game.”
“We really don’t have any concern about that. One thing this tragedy taught us is that we all need to be flexible.”
“The conference didn’t have to take any action of any kind,”
“Coaches develop relationships with these students, and if they come to believe in them as people, not just athletes, they want to give them the benefit of the doubt if they can. Not all of them make it. We know that. But we have given them the opportunity.”
“After reviewing all of the information, I felt this was the best decision for the game, … The safety of our student-athletes, coaches and fans is our priority.”
“One of the great things about the Southeastern Conference is our fans and our support — the importance of college football. On occasion that exuberance goes over the top. What we’d ultimately like to do is channel it on the field.”
“Hurricane Katrina has devastated the lives of victims in four of the SEC’s states, Alabama, Florida, Louisiana and Mississippi, and may continue to do so for months and years to come,”
“The MVP program will raise awareness about issues that can adversely affect our student athletes. It is important for the SEC to be aware of the challenges facing our student-athletes so that we can assist them whenever possible.”
“Coach Vaught certainly was one of the great icons in SEC football. If you look at the list of names (of) great all-Americans from here that played for him … you just get a sense of what he’s meant to this conference.”
“We’ll evaluate everybody. But in terms of the work ethic and the commitment of our officials, I think it’s very strong.”
“I used to go to more games than I do now. Every game you see in person you probably miss somewhere between five and 10 games.”
“Right now, there is peace in the valley. We hope to keep it that way for a little while.”
“No one person, no matter how popular, can be allowed to derail the soul of an institution.”
“The first time I talked to Mike Slive was in a ballroom of the Hyatt-Regency Hotel in Atlanta. The year was 2002 and the event was a reception to honor Roy Kramer, who in March had announced that he was stepping down as commissioner of the SEC after an ultra-successful 12-year reign.
Among the invited guests was the diminutive, silver-haired former circuit court judge who was then serving as commissioner of Conference USA. I saw Slive and his wife, Liz, from across the room and made a mental note to say hello before the night was over.
“You probably need to do that,” said a friend of mine who worked at an SEC school. “I’m pretty sure he’s going to be your new commissioner.”
My first reaction to this news? I knew Slive was from the North (Utica, N.Y.) with an Ivy League background (Darmouth College). I knew he had hung out a shingle after U.Va. Law School and had worked in administration with the Pac-10 before becoming a commissioner. But that’s all I knew. And as someone who grew up in the SEC and had been covering the conference as a reporter for almost two decades, I didn’t see any way this guy could replace Roy Kramer.
Kramer was a former coach (he won a Division II national championship at Central Michigan), a former director of athletics (Vanderbilt), and one of the most brilliant men I’ve ever met. And he was tough. The football coaches listened to Kramer even when they didn’t agree with him because he had been one of them. The presidents and the athletics directors listened to Kramer because from Day 1 he was looking 10 years down the road and could see it very clearly.
I just didn’t know if someone with Slive’s background would have the gravitas to wrangle the collection of powerful people with egos to match that was the SEC at the beginning of the 21st century.
We had a short, cordial visit. I didn’t bring up what I had heard. It wasn’t the time because we were there to honor Commissioner Kramer. But his smile and his handshake let me know that we’d be seeing each other soon enough.
On July 2, 2002 Mike Slive was introduced as the seventh commissioner of the Southeastern Conference. After the formal press conference at the SEC offices in Birmingham he met with a smaller group of reporters in a conference room. From the minute he sat down Mike Slive was comfortably in charge of the room. His words were thoughtful and measured. Like a good lawyer he had anticipated the questions and had his answers ready.
He knew that there would be a learning curve to the job but was confident he could handle it. He knew that he had just been handed the keys to one of most powerful vehicles in the world of college athletics.
But he also knew that his job not to be a caretaker. Mike Slive realized that his challenge was to take the world-class franchise that Roy Kramer had helped to build and to make it into something even better. I left Birmingham that day with no doubt that he would be a great commissioner.
That was the first memory that raced back to me on Tuesday when Commissioner Slive announced that he would retire on July 31, 2015. He will remain on as a consultant for four years. In a brilliant 13-year run he has:
**–Turned the SEC from a strong regional brand into powerful national brand with long-term television contracts and the creation of the SEC Network, which launched on Aug. 14.
**–Presided over what was nothing less than the Golden Age of SEC football, with seven consecutive BCS championships from 2006-2012. Auburn was 13 seconds short of making it eight straight back in January.
**–Added two strong institutions-Texas A&M and Missouri-to an already strong conference.
**–Maintained an across-the-board commitment to all 21 sponsored sports, which have recorded a staggering 75 national championships during his tenure.
**–Introduced the proposal that would eventually become the four-team College Football Playoff, which begins his season.
**–Spearheaded the movement to give the Power Five conferences greater autonomy in the NCAA governance structure.
**–Through the force of his leadership, increased the SEC’s commitment to diversity. He created the SEC Minority Coaches Database. He made sure everybody in the conference understood that the SEC was not going to pay lip service to diversity. The SEC was going to live it. In 2011 Kentucky played Vanderbilt in the league’s first-ever meeting of African-American head football coaches. It wasn’t a big story. To Slive, that was a good thing.
**–Launched the SEC Academic Initiative, which used the power of the athletics brand to highlight and advance the great accomplishments of the members on the academic front.
The list of Slive’s accomplishments as commissioner goes on and on. But what I really want to share with you today is not what Mike Slive did but the way in which he did it.
He has been the ultimate consensus builder. Like the good lawyer who never asks a question to which he doesn’t already know the answer, Commissioner Slive would make sure he had the votes lined up before the meeting ever took place. And no matter what the vote actually was, it would be unanimous when Slive walked out of the room.
He has always understood the importance of strong coaches, but those coaches always understood who was in charge. In 2009 a number of the SEC football coaches had been sniping at each other in public. At the SEC Spring Meetings in Destin Slive walked into the room and read his coaches the riot act. Problem solved.
“I’d say the commissioner made his point,” Steve Spurrier told me after the meeting.
When Slive took over as commissioner he made it clear that he would have zero tolerance for schools that knowingly broke NCAA rules. The rules were also changed so that if one member had a problem with another member in the area of rules compliance, that complaint would first go through the SEC office.
When Auburn was left out of the BCS championship game with a 13-0 record in 2004, the commissioner started putting together the idea for the four-team college football playoff. Slive’s original version was called a “Plus-One” and he presented the idea to his fellow BCS commissioners during a meeting in South Florida in April of 2008. Only one other commissioner, the ACC’s John Swofford, supported it.
Slive’s idea was shot down and he was clearly disappointed when we talked in a hallway outside the meeting room. I asked the commissioner if he actually floated the idea just to set the table for 2012, when the current BCS deal was scheduled to end.
He just smiled.
In 2008 Slive knew his fellow commissioners weren’t ready to make the change. He was betting that four years later they would be ready. And he was right. When two SEC teams-LSU and Alabama-played for the 2011 BCS championship the commissioners came around to Slive’s way of thinking.
His work ethic is legendary. If you’re on Mike Slive’s staff, be prepared for 6:30 a.m. meetings at Starbucks. George Schroeder of USA Today wrote a wonderful piece on the commissioner last summer.
In that piece Schroeder quotes Slive’s daughter, Anna, on his ability, at age 74, to still outwork men half his age.
“He only has two speeds,” she told Schroeder. “High and off.”
In the interest of full disclosure, I need to point out here that I’ve been fortunate to have a close personal and professional relationship with Commissioner Slive. I have used him as a sounding board when I have had to make some tough career decisions.
Each year, on the day before the Spring Meetings begin in Destin, we sit down for about an hour and reflect on where the conference has been and where it is going. Those conversations invariably turn personal and every year I ask how much longer he wants to go at this pace. Last May he just said: “You’ll see me until you don’t see me.”
In June of 2012 he became a grandfather for the first time. In August of 2012 I became a grandfather. And every meeting we’ve had since begins with the sharing of photos-his of Abigail and mine of Sloane.
That’s what I was thinking about when Commissioner Slive announced that he would retire next July. Because at the end of the day it’s really not about the money you make or the power you accumulate or the championships you win. It’s about the lives you have touched.
Mike and Liz Slive have touched a lot of lives in their time at the SEC. Lucky for us, they will do so for many years to come.”
With the 2018 College Football Spring Games almost complete it’s time to take a look at the Head Coaches now sitting on the Hot Seat and look towards the Fall as we celebrate Spring and look towards Summer vacations ourselves. We also need to look ahead to the 2018 schedules for each of the teams with Head Coaches on the Hot Seat and guess on a win/loss record and if the Head Coach will still be employed by the school by the time the middle of December rolls around.
Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give a Spring Hello to the Head Coaches now on the Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!
#1 – 10 CFB Head Coaches on the Hot Seat – May 2018
1. David Beaty, Kansas – David Beaty is entering his 4 th season as the head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks and his records are Not Good…make that…they are Damn Ugly!
Overall: 3 – 33
Big 12: 1 – 26
Let’s not forget in this spot that current Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger also hired Charlie Weis to coach Kansas in 2012 and Weis + Beaty’s records combined with Interim Head Coach Clint Bowen have posted records over the past 6 years of….
Overall: 9 – 62
Big 12: 3 – 51
If you were wondering how Sheaon Zenger is still employed at Kansas you are not alone but let’s look at the 2018 schedule for the Total Damn Disaster that is the Kansas Football Program and see where this train wreck is going:
Nicholls At Central Michigan Rutgers At Baylor Oklahoma State At West Virginia At Texas Tech TCU Iowa State At Kansas State At Oklahoma Texas
That looks to us like a record of….
1 – 11
2 – 10
…..for Kansas in 2018 and there’s no way David Beaty can survive another Total Damn Disaster of a season….right?
Who the Hell knows….after all….this is Kansas!
2. Lovie Smith, Illinois – We still haven’t a clue why Lovie Smith was hired as the head football coach at Illinois since Lovie did nothing in his coaching career to make us think he would EVER be a successful college head coach.
In fact, having watched Lovie Smith coach closely in his 11 seasons as the head coach of the Chicago Bears and Tampa Bay Buccaneers it’s our opinion that Lovie is a classic “NFL Coach” and therefore would always be an Average College Head Coach at best and so far….
Lovie has been a Well-Below Average College Head Coach!
Lovie Smith’s records at Illinois:
Overall: 5 – 19
Big Ten: 2 – 16
Not good….let’s look at the 2018 Illinois Football Schedule to see where this may be going….
Kent State Western Illinois USF Penn State At Rutgers Purdue At Wisconsin At Maryland Minnesota At Nebraska Iowa At Northwestern
That looks like 3 or 4 wins for Lovie Smith and the Illini in 2018 and….
There’s Not A Chance In Hell Lovie Smith can survive 4 win or less season and return to coach Illinois in 2019.
3. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – If anyone had told us before the 2013 college football season that Kliff Kingsbury would be sitting on records of…
Overall: 30 – 33
Big 12: 16 – 29
….at Texas Tech and that Kliff still be the head coach of the Red Raiders we wouldn’t believe it and yet….
Kliff Kingsbury is still the head coach in Lubbock!
Got Nuts? Yep!
Can Kliff Kingsbury possibly keep his job by posting another .500 or so records each season at Texas Tech?
We haven’t a Damn Clue but the standards have been lowered so much for Texas Tech Football maybe Kliff can hang onto his job in the middle of an incredibly Mediocre Run the last 5 seasons and with that in mind let’s look at the Red Raiders 2018 schedule…
Ole Miss Lamar Houston At Oklahoma State West Virginia At TCU Kansas At Iowa State Oklahoma Texas At Kansas State Baylor
Best Case Scenario: Texas Tech wins 7 games
Worst Case Scenario: Texas Tech wins 4 games
Can Kliff Kingsbury survive to coach Texas Tech another year with just 7 wins in 2018?
Maybe so…and that says a Helluva Lot about how accepting of Mediocrity folks in Lubbock have become and let’s just hope that disease doesn’t spread to the rest of America because it would destroy our country!
4. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – Luke Fickell is entering his 3 rd season as a head coach in his 2 nd year at Cincinnati and fans of college football will remember that Fickell took over a Loaded Ohio State team after Jim Tressel got fired in the Spring of 2011 and promptly went 6 – 6 taking his team to a Gator Bowl which cost an undefeated Ohio State football team a chance to play for a National Title in 2012 under Urban Meyer.
The question for us here at Coaches Hot Seat as we look at Fickell’s two years as a head coach….
Overall: 10 – 15
Conference: 5 – 11
…and his record at Cincinnati after one year….
Overall: 4 – 8
AAC: 2 – 6
….does Luke Fickell have a Damn Clue how to be a head coach?
That question will be answered in 2018 because this 2 nd season under Fickell should be a bounce-back year to at least a .500 record and with that in mind let’s look at the Bearcats 2018 schedule:
At UCLA At Miami (Ohio) Alabama A&M Ohio At UConn Tulane At Temple At SMU Navy USF At UCF East Carolina
Cincinnati should win at least…6 games in 2018….but will Fickell coach the Bearcats to at least 6 wins?
No….in our humble opinion and more than likely because Fickell has a Totally Damn Absurd buyout in his contract the folks at Cincinnati will have to tolerate Below Mediocrity for the foreseeable future….in our humble opinion!
5. Kalani Sitake, BYU – Kalani Sitake took over a BYU Football team from former head coach Bronco Mendenhall who posted…
11 straight winning seasons
….which Sitake continued in Year 1 with a record of….
9 – 4
…but in Year 2 the Cougars dropped to…
4 – 9
….and now Sitake is coaching for his job because we don’t think there’s ANY CHANCE the folks in Provo will tolerate two straight losing seasons which takes us to BYU’s 2018 schedule:
At Arizona California At Wisconsin McNeese At Washington Utah State Hawaii Northern Illinois At Boise State At UMass New Mexico State At Utah
There’s at least 6 wins on that schedule and thus No Good Excuse for Kalani Sitake and his Cougars to have a losing record in 2018!
6. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – When one looks at Jim Harbaugh’s records in three years at Michigan…
2015: 10 – 3 2016: 10 – 3 2017: 8 – 5
Overall: 28 – 11
Big Ten: 18 – 8
….they don’t look too bad but when realizes that Michigan has played 22 FBS teams with .500 or better records the last three seasons and Jimmy’s record against those teams is…
10 – 12
….it’s easy to understand why Jimmy is now sitting on the Hot Seat!
Jim Harbaugh is being paid an enormous amount of money….
$7 Million Plus Annually
……to build a Championship Football Program at Michigan meaning….
Winning Big Ten Championships Playing in College Football Playoff Winning National Championships
….and in April 2018 the above goals seem so far away one must start to wonder….
How long can this Mediocrity continue for Jim Harbaugh at Michigan?
The word from a close Michigan alum in San Francisco is….
“If Jim only wins 8 games again in 2018 he will not be the head coach of Blue in December.”
With that in mind let’s look at the 2018 Michigan Football Schedule:
At Notre Dame Western Michigan SMU Nebraska At Northwestern Maryland Wisconsin At Michigan State Penn State At Rutgers Indiana At Ohio State
If Michigan can beat Notre Dame in South Bend on the opening weekend then maybe Blue can be 3 – 0 heading into Big Ten play but with Scott Frost now in Lincoln, and the second game at Northwestern, along with at least FOUR other Big Ten games where Michigan might be the underdog it’s not hard to conjure up another….
8 – 4
…record of Michigan in 2018 and if that happens….
Michigan will have a new head football coach before January 1, 2019.
Where could Jim Harbaugh end up if things don’t work out at Michigan?
Our guess —-> New York Jets for 2019 season!
7. Ed Orgeron, LSU – In two seasons at LSU Ed Orgeron is sitting on records of…
Overall: 15 – 6
SEC: 10 – 4
….but let’s get serious here in the last two seasons under Coach O LSU has played…
14 FBS Teams with .500 or better records
…and the Tigers’ record in those games is…
8 – 6
…and in case you didn’t know it…
That’s NOT LSU Football!
Let’s go to the 2018 LSU schedule to see where this could be going in Baton Rouge….
Miami (Dallas) SE Louisiana At Auburn La. Tech Ole Miss At Florida Georgia Mississippi State Alabama At Arkansas Rice At Texas A&M
Geez…that’s a pretty TOUGH schedule and if LSU loses that opening game to Miami in Dallas it’s not hard to imagine the Tigers being…
3 – 2
…heading to Gainesville to play Florida with….
Georgia Mississippi State Alabama
….up next for Coach O.
Our guess….LSU ends up with a record of….
5 – 7
…in 2018 and LSU had a new head football coach before January 1, 2019!
This would be a GREAT season for Lane Kiffin to put up 11 – 1 or at worst 10 – 2 season at Florida Atlantic which opens the season at Oklahoma if Lane is hoping to get a head coaching job in the SEC namely in Baton Rouge!
8. Major Applewhite, Houston – Big Houston booster Tilman Fertita has made it clear he is not going to tolerate Houston football slipping back into Mediocrity after the Cougars posted a record of…
22 – 4
….in Tom Herman’s two seasons at Houston which is especially GREAT compared to the….
7 – 6
…record that Major Applewhite posted in his first year on the job in H-Town!
We have it on “very good authority” that if Major Applewhite wins less than…
10 Games in 2018
….that his job will be in serious jeopardy after the Cougars play at Memphis on November 23.
With that in mind let’s go to the 2018 Houston schedule:
At Rice Arizona At Texas Tech Texas Southern Tulsa At East Carolina At Navy USF At SMU Temple Tulane At Memphis
If you think Houston is going to win at least 10 games with the above schedule then you are seeing something we aren’t for Damn sure!
9. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – You can sit around all day trying to figure out why North Carolina took a step back in 2017 under head coach Larry Fedora but when one realizes that the Tar Heels were ranked…
#88 in Scoring Defense giving up 31.3 points per game
#83 in Scoring Offense scoring 26 points per game
…you are not going to win a Helluva lot of football games and thus the…
3 – 9
….UNC record last season!
Larry Fedora’s records in SIX seasons at North Carolina don’t look too bad…
Overall: 43 – 34
ACC: 27 – 21
….but Fedora cannot survive another losing season in Chapel Hill and with that let’s look at the Tar Heels 2016 schedule:
At California At East Carolina UCF Pitt At Miami Virginia Tech At Syracuse At Virginia Georgia Tech At Duke Western Carolina NC State
It may be hard for North Carolina to win at least 6 games in 2018 with that schedule unless there is a dramatic turnaround on both sides of the ball and if UNC only wins 5 games this coming season…
Larry Fedora’s head coaching career is probably OVER at least at the Power 5 Level….which should be Plenty of Damn Pressure to motivate Larry!
10. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – The most Damning record for Dana Holgorsen in his SIX seasons at West Virginia is the Mountaineers record in Big 12 Conference play since WVU joined the Big 12 in the 2012 season:
27 – 27
Getting above .500 and going to bowl games at West Virginia each season which is certainly geographically challenged in the Big 12 Conference is kind of an accomplishment….but come on now….don’t we all expect more out of West Virginia football that just…
Let’s look at West Virginia’s 2018 schedule….
Tennessee (Charlotte) Youngstown State At NC State Kansas State At Texas Tech Kansas At Iowa State Baylor At Texas TCU At Oklahoma State Oklahoma
That looks like another 7 – 5 season for Holgorsen at West Virginia in 2018 and will that be acceptable to the folks in Morgantown?
We haven’t a Damn Clue…but we sure Hell wouldn’t accept it!
1. David Beaty, Kansas – After three seasons as the head coach of the Kansas football team David Beaty has records on the board of…
Overall: 3 – 33
Big 12: 1 – 26
…and if there is ANYONE on the Earth that can explain to us why Beaty is still the head coach of the Jayhawks…outside a few lunatics in Lawrence, Kansas that hired and No Damn Big Surprise had to fire Charlie Weis in the same position before Beaty was hired….we would love to hear from you so that we can refer you to the closest mental institution so your ass can get some help…and quick!
Yes…David Beaty has won 3 games in 3 seasons coaching at Kansas and those 3 wins were against…
2017 – SE Missouri State 2016 – Rhode Island 2016 – Texas….Oh Charlie Strong that was Pitiful Son!
Oh…maybe David Beaty was kept on for a FOURTH year at Kansas because of an Amazing Recruiting Class and yet as we check the latest…
#69 – Toledo #68 – Houston #66 – Tulane #64 – FIU #63 – Western Michigan #61 – Boise State #59 – Duke #58 – Iowa State #57 – Wake Forest #50 – Cincinnati
Do we need to go on? Didn’t think so!
Hey…Kansas can have any Damn coach they want to lead their football program but in the Real World where only Damn Morons hire Damn Idiots like Charlie Weis THREE years is plenty of Damn time to know or not if a football program is moving in the right direct and thus it’s No Damn Surprise that someone that hired Charlie Weis would keep David Beaty on when Beaty hasn’t done One Damn Thing to have earned the right to coach the Jayhawks for a FOURTH season!
A sidenote in this spot we do note that we have been told by someone we trust that more than one Very Damn Qualified Head Coach has reached out to the folks at Kansas to say that “X coach” would love to coach the Jayhawks and maybe we should start writing the names of those coaches to show just what kind of Damn Idiots are running Kansas Athletics and the University of Kansas right now!
2. Lovie Smith, Illinois – Lovie Smith took over an Illini football team two years ago that had won…
…the two previous seasons before Lovie’s arrival and in two years on the job Lovie has records on the board of:
Overall: 5 – 19
Big Ten: 2 – 16
For those slow on the uptake that’s a plus-50% decline in wins and thus we haven’t a Damn Clue why anyone at Illinois would think that firing longtime college head coach Bill Cubit to hire Lovie Smith who last coached in college over 20 years beyond some hack agent of Lovie’s convincing the AD at Illinois, Josh Whitman, that hiring Lovie would make sense when if anyone at Coaches Hot Seat had taken that call would have said:
“Please…tell me what qualifies Lovie Smith to be the head football coach at Illinois or any Power 5 Conference school?”
There is NO good answer to the above question especially when one considers that when hiring Lovie Smith you are not getting a coach that “fits” the college game like a Pete Carroll who is….
Actually Alive and Awake on the Sidelines During the Games
….while Lovie has around the intensity level of a Tom Landry who was a Helluva pro coach with the Cowboys but would have been a Damn Failure if he had ever tried to coach in the college game!
What does the future hold for Lovie Smith at Illinois?
Our opinion…Lovie Smith will be fired at Illinois..either after the 2018 season or the 2019 season…because we don’t think there’s a chance in Hell the Illini come close to win 6 games in either of the next two years and if you can’t win 6 games at Illinois then what exactly is the point of you being the head coach of the football team?
There is NO point is the answer to that question!
3. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – If anyone had told us FIVE years ago that Kliff Kingsbury could post records of…
Overall: 30 – 33
Big 12: 16 – 29
…at Texas Tech and still be the head coach after his FIFTH year on the job we would have never believed it but then we have never thought Texas Tech AD Kirby Hocutt…
Cared About or Gave A Damn About Winning
…and it’s also our opinion Hocutt willingness to tolerate the above records from Kingsbury points to our opinion being right and even worse the alumni, boosters and fans of Red Raider Football that also seem….
Do Not Care About or Give A Damn About Winning!
One thing we are Very Damn Thankful for here at Coaches Hot Seat:
Kirby Hocutt is alive today in America and was not around in the early 1940s when WINNING was very Damn important and LOSING was not tolerated because if LOSING had been tolerated there would be no country for us Americans to live in today!
Be Proud fans of Texas Tech Football…
You are Below Damn Average and have an Athletic Director that Celebrates and Rewards Below Damn Average!
Guns Up and Give that Hocutt Boy your hard-earned money and be Damn proud when you do it!
4. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – We saw enough of Luke Fickell as the interim head coach of Ohio State in 2011 after Jim Tressel got run out of town to lying to his bosses to know that Fickell was Damn Good at taking a team that should have won 10 games EASY and ended with a record of…
6 – 7
…costing the Buckeyes a shot at a National Title in 2012 under Urban Meyer when the team went undefeated after Ohio State AD Gene Smith and what must be a Helluva lot of stupid people in Columbus sent the Buckeyes to a meaningless bowl game…to know that Luke Fickell was not head coaching material!
No…we would NEVER had hired Luke Fickell to be the head coach at Cincinnati or ANY FBS school but then we actually watch football games here at Coaches Hot Seat and don’t believe Horseshit just because it is coming from a coach or an agent or someone else about Fickell or anyone else and what did Cincinnati get for hiring Luke Fickell as their coach?
Fickell took a team that should have EASY won 6+ games in 2017 and he posted a record of…
4 – 8
Our opinion…Luke Fickell is a nice guy… a solid guy…but he is not Head Coaching material no more than Kansas head coach David Beaty is head coaching material and the folks at Cincinnati like the folks at Kansas can either realize and understand that now or realize and understand it in the future but eventually….they will realize and understand it to be a FACT!
Our guess…Cincinnati has another losing season in 2018 under Fickell and Fickell will be fired because unlike Kansas which can tolerate losing seasons until the Earth ends the folks in Cincinnati don’t have that luxury and with that in mind Fickell better Damn get off his ass or he will be back in the assistant coaching ranks a year from today!
5. Kalani Sitake, BYU – Like Luke Fickell BYU head coach Kalani Sitake is another nice guy…a solid guy…but watching the BYU Cougars play several times in 2017 we cannot help but wonder…
Just what in the Hell is Kalani Sitake doing because his BYU football team looks like it is barely coached at times!
A 4 – 9 record in 2017 after a 9 – 4 record in 2016 certainly means Sitake has the ability to win games coaching the Cougars but he going to have to perform this coming season or he might very well find himself out of a job and when we mean perform anything less than 7 wins and we have to think the Kalani Sitake experiment will come to an end in Provo in early December.
6. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – There were a few Coaches Hot Seat members on hand when Jim Harbaugh was introduced as the Stanford head coach in December 2007 and we were able to spend enough time around Jim during his FOUR years on The Farm and overall we were impressed with Harbaugh and we were not surprised at all when he went on to be very successful at the San Francisco 49ers.
The above was our opinion before the 2017 season began and after watching Michigan in every game it played this past season what we are beginning to wonder is…
What exactly is wrong with Jim Harbaugh?
Does Jim have some kind of health issue?
If it’s not a health issue then…what exactly is wrong with Jim Harbaugh because the Jim Harbaugh we see on the Michigan sideline and the one we are hearing about from our contact in Ann Arbor is not the Jim Harbaugh we know nor does the Michigan football team now reflect the Harbaugh we knew at Stanford.
Beyond all of the above let’s take a hard look at just what Jim Harbaugh has accomplished at Michigan in THREE seasons:
Overall Record: 28 – 11 Big Ten: 18 – 8
Also in THREE seasons Jim Harbaugh + Michigan have played 22 FBS teams that finished the season with .500 or better records and Harbaugh’s record in those 22 games is…
10 – 12
Sorry….the above kind of record is not what the folks at Michigan are paying Jim Harbaugh Millions of Dollars a year and spending Many, Many Millions of Dollars for assistant coaches, support staff, facility upgrades and all manner of other things like flying the entire Damn team to Florida and Europe for spring practice!
So what’s wrong with Michigan Football assuming there isn’t something wrong with Jim Harbaugh health wise?
Well for starters the Michigan Offense is…
The Most Predictable Offense in College Football
…on ANY level of the college game and that is beyond Michigan also having…
Some of the Most Pitiful Quarterback Play
…we have EVER seen at a school like Michigan and it’s almost as if…
Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Offensive Coaches aren’t actually coaching the team in practice but are going out and getting drunk at a local Ann Arbor bar
….and maybe Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Offensive Coaches should go get drunk at a local Ann Arbor bar because what they did last season was a…
Total and Complete Joke!
We don’t know a whole lot of Michigan alumni but we do know one who could buy and sell Nick Saban in about 10 minutes and we asked him what would happen to Jim Harbaugh if he went 8 – 4 again in 2018 and his response was….
“Jim will be fired.”
When we told that same Michigan alum that Harbaugh was 10 – 12 against FBS teams with .500 or better records in the last 3 seasons he said…
“Maybe we should fire Jim right now!”
Memo to Jim Harbaugh: Get off your Damn Ass now Son or your head coaching career will be OVER…at least on the college level…a year from today!
7. Ed Orgeron, LSU – If you are going to fire Les Miles at LSU and in our opinion Miles was given way too much time to get things straightened out then you better Damn hire a coach who will do better than Les Miles and Coach O in his first full season as the head coach of the Tigers posted a record of…
9 – 4
…and in Les Miles’ 11 full seasons as the head coach of LSU he only lost 4 or more games…
….and if Ed Oregon loses 4 games again in 2018 he is going to one of the Hottest Seats in College Football and the Tigers fans are going to be IRATE especially after the moving around of coaches in the offensive coordinator position which was the same side of the football that Les Miles had so much trouble with and which in the end got Les Miles fired…and will get Coach O fired as well!
For what it’s worth our longtime LSU alum friend who lives in New Orleans and was deadly accurate in predicting Les Miles demise in Baton Rouge told us recently….
“If Ed doesn’t get things rolling in ’18 and Mike Norvell has another big season at Memphis I fully expect for some big alumni and boosters to demand that LSU hire Norvell and end the madness in Baton Rouge.”
4 or more losses by LSU in 2018…Hell…maybe even 3 losses…and Mike Norvell might be the head coach at LSU a year from today!
8. Major Applewhite, Houston – We haven’t a clue if Major Applewhite believes that he had to hire Kendall Briles and Randy Clements to get the Houston football program rolling again BUT we do know that if Applewhite doesn’t come very close to winning if not outright winning 10 games in 2018 the Major Applewhite experiment at Houston will be over a year from today and we have heard from a UH alum that he wouldn’t be surprised if the school went after Lane Kiffin in a BIG way which wouldn’t surprise us either since the folks at Houston…expect their football team to win a Helluva lot football games now!
Would we have hired Kendall Briles at FAU or Houston?
Not A Chance In Hell…but that’s just us!
9. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – We haven’t a clue what caused North Carolina football t0 fall from a 11 – 3 record in 2015 and 8 – 5 record in 2016 to a 3 – 9 record in 2017 but beyond the 3 wins when we got to see the Tar Heels play last season…
The Team Looked Like It Was Hardly Coached At All
….and that makes perfect sense since when one realizes those 3 wins were over…
Old Dominion Pitt Western Carolina
We don’t have a Damn Clue what happened to North Carolina football last year besides the Tar Heels giving up a Helluva lot of points finishing…
99th in Total Defense
…out of 129 FBS teams and either Fedora will get his Defense and Football Team straightened out and win 6+ games in 2018 or Fedora will have a Heluva lot of time on his hands come this time next year!
10. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – This isn’t Crazy Dana Holgorsen’s first trip to the Coaches Hot Seat Rodeo and after posting a 7 – 6 record in 2018 which has left Holgo’s records at West Virginia in 6 seasons in Big 12 at…
Overall: 43 – 34 Big 12: 27 – 27
…one has to think the folks in Great State of West Virginia are not going to tolerate the Mediocrity of averaging winning…
7.16 Games A Season
….so 2018 may indeed be Holgo’s Little Bighorn so keep an eye out on the horizon Holgo for campfires because you should see plenty of smoke Son!
I’m all for new faces shaking things up. I like it when people question conventional NFL wisdom. I don’t think enough people do it, and as a result I think things have a tendency to get a little redundant with the league from time to time. So if a new hotshot coach wants to come in from the college ranks and shake things up with a new defense or some funky new plays or even a new attitude, I’m generally all for it.
That is not, however, what Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Greg Schiano is up to with this thing where he had his players jump over the line and after New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning while Manning was taking a knee at the end of Sunday’s game. The Giants were justifiably upset about the maneuver, and Schiano’s excuse was weak and stupid. Per ESPNNewYork.com:
“I don’t know if that’s not something that’s not done in the National Football League, but what I do with our football team is we fight until they tell us ‘Game over,'” Schiano said. “There’s nothing dirty about it and there’s nothing illegal about it.
“We crowd the ball — it’s like a sneak defense and you try to knock it loose. Watch Rutgers, they would know if they watched us that’s what we did at the end of the game.”
Rutgers is, of course, where Schiano was coaching this time last year. And there are a few real problems with his rationale. First of all, you don’t see teams doing that stuff at the college level, and it’s for the same reason you don’t see it at the NFL level. It’s because it’s a real good way to get people hurt for no good reason. If you’re losing and out of timeouts and the other team has the ball with so little time left that they can kneel down and run out the clock, you’ve lost. It doesn’t prove anything to your players or anyone else if you’re the fake tough guy who refuses to accept that. All it does is put people at silly risk of injury at the end of 60 minutes’ worth of brutal, health-threatening collisions. You owe it to your own players to know when you’re beaten and back off. Asking them to make a useless leaping hit in that situation is putting them at risk the same way it’s putting the other team at risk. It’s irresponsible.”
Amen Greg Graziano and we repeat that Greg Schiano is a…
Pompous Arrogant Ass Jerk
We would not hire Greg Schiano to Shovel Shit
…and who also in our opinion is…
A Sorry Damn Excuse for a Human Being
Be Thankful fans of Tennessee Football that you got in the way and this Sorry Damn Bastard didn’t become part of YOUR football program which YOU OWN since after….
YOU folks pay ALL the Damn Bills
…in Knoxville and you have every Damn right to stand-up and DEMAND that these Damn Morons at the University of Tennessee end this Damn Stupidity before they totally destroy Tennessee Football!
1. David Beaty, Kansas – You really can’t make up what is going on with Kansas Football right now where the AD at KU Sheahon Zenger hired Charlie Weis in 2012 who then promptly posted records of…
Overall: 6 – 22
Big 12: 1 – 18
….who was then replaced by current head coach David Beaty who in three seasons has posted records of…
Overall: 3 – 33
Big 12: 1 – 26
….with the Jayhawks giving up…
…in 9 of its 12 football games in 2017 and…
….in 11 of its 11 games against FBS teams in 2017!
Now if the fans of Kansas Football don’t mind being…
The Laughingstock of College Football
…and to have a Damn Moron as your AD then more the power to you folks but please don’t tell us there is anyone working at the University of Kansas that oversees the Kansas Football program that gives a Damn about…
Winning, Excellence, Pride, Class…Hell…ANYTHING AT ALL!
Last week a Coaches Hot Seat member got a text from a football assistant coach at a Big 12 Conference school that said…
“Everyone Big 12 hoping KU keeps DB least 1 more year because it’s only sure win on sked right now if Rhule gets things going at Baylor”
…and on Sunday when it was announced by Kansas that David Beaty would be back for the 2018 season that same assistant coach sent that CHS member the following text!
Be proud fans of Kansas Football….Oh…be so Damn proud!
2. Lovie Smith, Illinois – In two years at Illinois Lovie Smith has now posted records of…
Overall: 5 – 19
Big Ten: 2 – 16
….and in 2017 posting a 2 – 10 record the Illini beat…
Ball State Western Kentucky
Hell…not only did Illinois go 0 – 9 in Big Ten Conference play in 2017 on October 14 they lost to now 4 – 8 Rutgers….at Home…by the score of 35 – 24!
Please…is there someone….anyone….in North America that can tell us why Lovie Smith is the head coach of the Illinois Football program?
Didn’t think so!
3. David Bailiff, Rice – Posting a record of 1 – 11 in 2017 and sitting on records of…
Overall: 57 – 80
CUSA: 40 – 48
…..in 11 seasons at Rice the end must be near for head coach David Bailiff which would open up a Helluva job for some coach that could bring some energy to Houston and win some football games!
4. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – We are not quite sure what it takes to get your ass fired at Texas Tech but if these records won’t do it…
Overall: 30 – 32
Big 12: 16 – 30
….after five years on the job then one would think there are a Helluva lot of…
Below Average As Hell Folks
…working Lubbock at Texas Tech University right now!
While Texas Tech AD Kirby Hocutt is spending a lot of time in Dallas working on the College Football Playoff Committee which tomorrow could be replaced by two monkeys, a house cat, a parakeet and a Damn Moron and do just a good job as the committee members we cannot help but wonder what in the Hell is Hocutt looking at in evaluating the Texas Tech head football coach Kliff Kingsbury who is averaging…
3.2 wins in conference play
…a season playing 9 conference games a year!
Clearly there is some kind of Damn Moron supplement in the water that ADs in the Big 12 Conference are drinking or Big 12 university presidents are just hiring Damn Morons in AD positions!
5. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – On Saturday the Cincinnati Bearcats eked out a…
22 – 21
…win over a 3 – 9 UConn football team which leaves Cincinnati with a 4 – 8 record in Luck Fickell’s first year on the job and is there anyone on Earth that thinks Fickell will win 6+ games in Year 2 coaching the Bearcats?
Oh…there is someone….did you see that last Saturday Cincinnati got beat 48 – 20 by an East Carolina team that Memphis just beat by the score of 77 – 13?
We don’t believe in allowing a mistake to fester and if the folks at Cincinnati had a Damn Clue they would fire Luck Fickell today but they don’t have a Damn Clue so expect the Bearcats to have another losing season in 2018 and in 2019 as well if Fickell makes it to 2019 as the Cincinnati head coach!
6. Kalani Sitake, BYU – On Saturday night BYU got a win over a hapless Hawaii team by the score of 30 – 20 which leaves the Cougars record in 2017 at 4 – 9 and head coach Kalani Sitake’s record in two seasons on the job at…
13 – 13
….and Sitake took over a BYU football program that had won 8+ games in 9 of the last 10 seasons under Bronco Mendenhall and the other season the Cougars won 7 games!
We don’t have a Damn Clue why BYU only won 4 games in 2017 besides that the Cougars offense was nothing short of a Damn Disaster, but we do know that Kalani Sitake better fix the mess he has created in Provo and fix it in a Helluva hurry or his head coaching career will be over a year from today!
7. Brad Lambert, Charlotte – Charlotte is a very young FBS football program but in five seasons as the head coach at Charlotte on both the FCS and FBS levels head coach Brad Lambert is sitting on records of…
Overall: 17 – 41
CUSA: 4 – 20
…and if you can keep your job with those kind of records then there’ s hope for all the Damn Morons out there that now can see that they might indeed be able to make something of themselves at places like Charlotte, Kansas and Texas Tech so hang in there Damn Morons…hang the Hell in there!
8. Matt Rhule, Baylor – It was reported that Matt Rhule saw the Baylor job as some kind of “mission” for him in moving over from Temple and in Rhule’s first year at Baylor on his “mission” he took over a Bears team that won…
…in 2016 and Rhule just posted a record of…
1 – 11
…coaching the Bears so we have this obvious question for Matt:
How’s that “mission” working out for you Son?
The best thing the folks at Baylor can say today is…
Thank God and the Pillsbury Dough Boy for Kansas!
9. Chris Ash, Rutgers – In two seasons as the Rutgers head coach Chris Ash has posted records of..
Overall: 6 – 18
Big Ten: 3 – 15
…and we cannot help but wonder how long Ash can go posting these kinds of records and then we realize this is Rutgers…now playing in the Big Ten and not the Big East…and the expectations at Rutgers….
Not Real Damn High
…so the losing could go on for awhile here now….it could go on for a Damn long time before Ash gets run!
10. Brent Brennan, San Jose State – Congrats to San Jose State head coach Brent Brennan and his football team winning their FIRST football game against a FBS team on Saturday against Wyoming which has got to be Very Damn Embarrassing for the Cowboys and head coach Craig Bohl because you just got beat by a 2 – 11 team cowpokes and that is…
Pretty, Pretty Damn Embarrassing!
Can Brent Brennan win in 2018 more than the 2 games that his football team won in 2017?
We haven’t a Damn clue and don’t really care for that matter!
Over the past few years during the Jim Mora-era as the head coach of the football program a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members have had the opportunity to be in the UCLA Athletics Complex a few times and every time we left the place we got the feeling that working for Jim Mora…
Wasn’t the most enjoyable thing in the world
…and that Mora’s management style probably hurt Mora as much as anything at UCLA…in our humble opinion.
Overall, Jim Mora did a credible job as the head coach at UCLA in 6 seasons on the job posting records of…
Overall: 46 – 30
Pac-12: 28 – 26
Record Against USC: 3 – 3
….but in the end the general downtrend of the Bruins in the last couple of years led to Mora’s firing along with little hope for a move back up for UCLA Football under Mora in 2018 and future years.
We haven’t a clue if UCLA will be able to hire Chip Kelly to coach the Bruins, but it would be fascinating as Hell to see Kelly’s offense with the kind of talent that even average recruiting can get to Westwood, and if Kelly does end up at UCLA it will also be fascinating as Hell to see if college defensive coordinators have figured out what Kelly is doing which Stanford showed on multiple occasions can be stopped with the right approach and schemes on both sides of the ball.
Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!
Thank You Mr. Cash!
1. Mike Riley, Nebraska – With one game at home against Iowa in the strange odyssey of Mike Riley at Nebraska left after almost three full seasons on the job Riley’s records now stand at….
Overall: 19 – 18
Big Ten: 12 – 13
…which works out to winning percentages of…
Big Ten: .480
….and Riley’s winning percentages in 14 seasons coaching at Oregon State were…
….which are numbers surprising to no one it must be….except now former Nebraska AD Shawn Eichorst…who if EVER allowed to hire a head football coach on ANY level of football in America again will mean that a Seriously Mentally Ill person has hired a Damn Moron to hire that head football coach!
No…Nebraska is no longer the Nebraska of the 1990s under Tom Osborne BUT Nebraska is a school where we fully expect the head coach playing 13 to 14 games a year to win…
9.5+ Games A Season
….and if the Huskers beat Iowa on Saturday Riley will have averaged winning…
6.67 Games A Season
….and considering that the last coach at Nebraska (Bo Pelini) averaged winning…
9.42 Games A Season
….meaning Riley took over a Pretty Damn Good Football Program at Nebraska there is the clear reason why Mike Riley is less than a week away from being fired as the head coach of the Huskers.
….which even if the Hogs beat Mizzou at home next Saturday…not likely…Bielema would have averaged winning…
6 Games Per Season
…and Bobby Petrino in 4 seasons coaching at Arkansas averaged winning…
8.5 Games Per Season
…which happens to be how many games a head coach at Arkansas should win…
8.5 Games Per Season
It’s our opinion that Bret Bielema made a lot of mistakes at Arkansas that were mostly made behind the scenes having to do with recruiting, roster management, personnel decisions, coaching hires, etc. that we could elaborate on in this spot but they are mainly decisions that were made because Bielema fundamentally misunderstood what the SEC Conference is actually all about and it’s NOT…
….but rather recruiting…
High-Level Skill Athletes
…which Bielema was NEVER able to recruit to Arkansas in any kind of numbers and that showed up on the field in SPADES which led to Bielema averaging…
6 Wins A Season
…if the Hogs beat Mizzou on Saturday and if they don’t Bielema will have won an average of….
5.8 Games A Season
….which is very simply a Total Damn Disaster at Arkansas!
3. David Beaty, Kansas – On Saturday Oklahoma blasted Kansas by the score of 41 – 3 in Kansas head coach David Beaty’s 35 th game at KU which now leaves Beaty’s records at Kansas…
Overall: 3 – 32
Big 12: 1 – 25
…with a game at Oklahoma State left on the schedule and anyone on Earth that thinks Kansas Football will be better in Beaty’s FOURTH year on the job in 2018 that is a person that needs to…
Check Into The Closest Mental Institution
….wherever they are on the Earth!
This past week an assistant coach in the Big 12 texted a member of Coaches Hot Seat the following:
“Everyone Big 12 hoping KU keeps DB least 1 more year because it’s only sure win on sked right now if Rhule gets things going at Baylor”
Yes…there are some Damn Morons in Lawrence, Kansas that should be fired tonight!
4. Lovie Smith, Illinois – On Saturday Ohio State beat Illinois by the score of 52 – 14 in Lovie Smith’s 23 rd game as the head coach of the Illini which leaves Lovie’s records in two seasons on the job at…
Overall: 5 – 18
Big Ten: 2 – 15
…and we ask again:
Is there someone…anyone…that can tell us why Lovie Smith is the head coach of the Illinois Football team?
4. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – With Texas Tech’s loss to TCU at home on Saturday that leaves only Texas on the schedule for the 5 – 6 Red Raiders and Kingsbury’s records in FIVE seasons at the school….
Overall: 29 – 32
Big 12: 15 – 30
….and save Tech beating Texas on the road in Austin next Saturday we would guess that TCU assistant coach Sonny Dykes will be the head coach of the Red Raiders sometime in early December…not that we know anything…but just a guess!
6. David Bailiff, Rice – On Saturday Rice lost to Old Dominion which dropped the Owls record to 1 – 10 in 2017 and head coach David Bailiff’s records in 11 seasons at Rice to…
Overall: 57 – 79
CUSA: 40 – 47
…and we fully expect the Rice head coaching job to come open soon which in our opinion is a pretty Damn good job that we would want because we know that…
1. Houston is a great town 2. There’s plenty of high school football talent in south Texas 3. We could prove our chops making Rice Football into a winner
7. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – Even with the win over Ole Miss on Saturday it’s our opinion that Texas A&M is going to change head coaches in a week or so because of the following…
If A&M loses on the road to LSU next Saturday that will mean that Kevin Sumlin will have lost 5 games in each of the past 4 seasons at Texas A&M which is a place where a coach has EVERYTHING and should be able by his SIXTH season on the job compete with Alabama for the SEC West Division Title and come on now….
The Aggies are not in the same Universe with Alabama after SIX seasons of Kevin Sumlin coaching A&M!
What will be Damn interesting is who Texas A&M will hire to follow Sumlin who in our opinion if he is to be considered successful will win an average of…
9.5 Games A Year
…with Sumlin averaging 8.5 Wins which let’s face it folks…
That’s Just Not Good Enough for Texas A&M….PERIOD!
8. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – We are not quite sure what the folks at Cincinnati saw in Luke Fickell who as the Interim Head Coach at Ohio State in 2011 posted a record of…
6 – 7
…with a team that had enough talent to win the Big Ten and National Title but we said last year if the folks at Cincinnati think Luke Fickell is the man to lead their program….OK…let’s see what the boy can do.
OK…Luke Fickell in his first year on the job coaching the Bearcats and is now sitting on a record of 3 – 8 after his team got BLASTED by a 2 win East Carolina team on Saturday by the score of…
48 – 20
….and on top of what has turned into nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster for Cincinnati Football we learned via USA Today a few weeks ago that Fickell has a….wait for it….
….for doing what exactly before he became the head coach at Cincinnati last year we haven’t a Damn Clue but then we all know that any random coaches agent can roll most any Damn athletic director in America now and clearly the Cincinnati AD got his ass rolled by Fickell’s!
Cincinnati hosts a 3 wins UConn team next Saturday and in our opinion if Fickell can’t win this game…
His Ass Should Be Fired on Saturday Night
….$9.1 Million Dollar Buyout or not because there would be no Damn point to keep him employed as the head coach of the Bearcats if he can’t beat this PITIFUL UConn team at home…in our humble opinion!
9. Kalani Sitake, BYU – For the love of Brigham Young…meaning the original Brigham Young who reportedly had 55 wives which is a stunning number in every way we can imagine because just how in the Hell can one man handle 55 women telling him on constant basis “they need this” or “they need that” which our wives are constantly telling us which must have led to some Helluva BIG shopping trips for Ole Brig as we like to call him here at Coaches Hot Seat when around our Mormon friends just to dig them a little!
Oh..getting back to the for the love of Brigham Young how in the Hell exactly can BYU lose to UMass at home by the score of…
16 – 10
…in head coach Kalani Sitake’s 25 th game at the school?
That loss to UMass now leaves Sitake’s record at BYU in 2 seasons at…
Overall: 12 – 13
…and the 3 – 9 Cougars still have to play at Hawaii next Saturday!
We are not sure exactly what is going on at BYU but whatever the Hell it is…it’s not good…it’s just no Damn good….we sure the Hell know that!
10. Todd Graham, Arizona State – With the win on Saturday over Oregon State Todd Graham’s Sun Devils are now 6 – 5 on the season with only the Territorial Cup game at home against Arizona left on the schedule that we were told on Sunday…
Todd Graham MUST WIN to keep his job at Arizona State
In 6 seasons at Arizona State Todd Graham now how records on the board of…
Overall: 45 – 31
Pac-12: 30 – 23
…which if you give ASU the win over Arizona adds up to Graham averaging…
7.67 Wins Per Season
…and we have Arizona State as a…
8.5 Wins Per Season
….school to keep your rear-end off the Hot Seat.
We guess there’s an outside chance that Todd Graham could keep his job at ASU even he lost to Arizona but something we learned a long time ago is that when things get marginal in a job a person in the position of hiring + firing someone will almost always fire someone…
They Don’t Like
…and work like Hell to…
Keep Someone They Do Like
…which in the end might just seal the fate for Todd Graham in Tempe!
16 Head Coaches Facing MUST WIN Games In Week 12 Whose Teams + Coaches Need To Take It To The Limit! – Thanks Randy!
Bill Snyder, Kansas State vs. Oklahoma State – There are few things as Totally Damn Worthless as people holding prominent positions trying to get their kids into those positions as they head for the doors and that is exactly what Bill Snyder is trying to do at Kansas State with his son Sean:
Clearly, Bill Snyder believes that his son Sean doesn’t have the ability or chops to get a Power 5 Conference Head Coaching Job on his own so that’s why Daddy is trying to strong-arm Kansas State into hiring his Boy which if you are like us makes Bill Snyder…
Worthless As Hell
…and his Sean even worse because if Sean had actually been raised by a…
REAL Man and REAL American
…Sean would tell his Daddy to butt the Hell out of his coaching career because Sean wouldn’t want his Daddy getting him the Kansas State job but would rather if Sean was a..
REAL Man and REAL American
…he would earn and get the job himself but clearly the Snyders are…
NOT REAL Men nor REAL Americans
…and with that in mind every American worth a Damn should hope like Hell that Worthless as Hell Bill Snyder loses his last two games against…
At Oklahoma State Iowa State
….so the Wildcats finish at 5 – 7 and Billy “My son Sean is such a Candy Ass Pussy I have to get the Kansas State Job for Him” Snyder will go out the…
Total Damn Loser
….that we all know he is now!
BEAT the Living Hell out of Bill and Sean Snyder Oklahoma State and if you can hang Freaking 100….hang Freaking 100 on ‘em Mike Gundy!
What a Total Embarrassment that Bill Snyder is to Kansas State, College Football and America for that matter!
If you think we are HOT about Bill Snyder trying to pass down the Kansas State Football Program to his son Sean like KSU Football is some kind of medieval kingdom that can be passed down to someone because of their last name and they won the sperm lottery then you would be RIGHT but then any Real America would vehemently object to this Total Horseshit as well and if you think what Bill Snyder is doing is right…
You are not a REAL American…PERIOD!
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan vs. Wisconsin– Since Penn State destroyed Michigan in Week 8 the Wolverines offense has scored….
35 33 35
…points against its last three opponents and clearly Blue is going to need 35+ points on Saturday to beat Wisconsin in Madison and we are fascinated to see how far this Michigan team has come this year and if Harbaugh can actually beat a football team with a winning record in 2017!
Our recommendation to Jim Harbaugh: Don’t lose to Wisconsin AND Ohio State to end the 2017 season Jimmy or your ass is going right on the Hot Seat heading into 2018!
David Beaty, Kansas vs. Oklahoma – The 1 – 9 Kansas Jayhawks head coach David Beaty may have the support of the KU Chancellor but in the Real World which clearly doesn’t include Lawrence, Kansas when you have posted these kind of records in THREE year on the job…
Overall: 3 – 31
Big 12: 1 – 24
…your ass gets fired but then we are talking about the University of Kansas here where…
We are no Damn where near Below Damn Average in Football and we are Damn proud of it!
…to finish the 2017 so David Beaty you got…
1 – 11
…in 2017 and…
3 – 33
…in 3 years on the job Son?
You are about to Son!
Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Navy – Oh this is very simple…if Notre Dame happened to lose to Navy on Saturday after getting destroyed by Miami last Saturday Brian Kelly’s ass would be right back on the Hot Seat with a game still left against Stanford on The Farm next week and if Kelly lost to both Navy and Stanford and finished at 8 – 4 on the season in our opinion Kelly would be fired shortly after the Stanford game on November 25 th!
Don’t lose to Navy Brian Kelly!
Lovie Smith, Illinois vs. Ohio State – We asked the 178 Coaches Hot Seat members this week if anyone thought…
Lovie Smith would ever field a .500 or better football team at Illinois
…and as of Friday morning 154 Coaches Hot Seat members have responded and the results were…
154 – No 0 – Yes
This week the 2 – 8 Illini who have beaten Ball State and Western Kentucky this season and are 0 – 7 in Big Ten play face Ohio State and then finish with Northwestern which looks like two more losses to us which would leave Smith’s record after 2 years at Illinois at….
Overall: 5 – 19
Big Ten: 2 – 16
Please….someone…anyone…why the Hell is Lovie Smith the head football coach at Illinois?
There are just so many Damn Morons in the world in important positions in collegiate athletics one has to wonder…
How in the Hell did they get into these jobs?
Mike Riley, Nebraska vs. Penn State– The Mike Riley era is OVER at Nebraska so we don’t expect much out of the Huskers this week against a Penn State team that could hang almost any number they wanted on the Blackshirts defense so this isn’t so much a MUST WIN Game for Mike Riley and Nebraska as it is…
Just Don’t Totally Embarrass the State of Nebraska
…please now Mike Riley!
Jim Mora, UCLA vs. USC – Jim Mora is moving very close to the “Mendoza Line” with his Pac-12 Conference record now sitting at…
28 – 25
…with games left against USC this week and California next week which could both easily be losses but since we are talking about UCLA here where your Sorry Damn Ass can go on a retail shoplifting spree and you can remain on the Bruins Basketball Team why should we expect Damn anything out of UCLA Football?
UCLA = Where we allow our student athletes to go on shoplifting sprees at retail stores and stay on athletic teams!
Oh UCLA…be so Damn Proud!
Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech vs. TCU – Kliff Kingsbury is sitting on some very Damn average records as the head football coach at Texas Tech…
Overall: 29 – 31
Big 12: 15 – 29
….and we cannot imagine that Kingsbury will be the head coach at Tech in 2018 if the 5 – 5 Red Raiders don’t win at least one of their last two games against…
TCU At Texas
….and we have to think that beating TCU at home in Lubbock by out-scoring the Horned Frogs will be a Helluva lot easier than beating Texas in Austin next Friday when the Longhorns will probably need a win also to get to 6 wins on the year!
You better Damn beat TCU on Saturday Son!
Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. Mississippi State – To really understand what a Total Disaster that Bret Bielema has been for Arkansas Football over the past FIVE seasons posting records of…
Overall: 29 – 32
SEC: 11 – 27
….one only has to look at how many games the other 13 SEC schools had won in the previous 5 years before 2013, from 2008 – 2012, to see how good the Arkansas football program was when Bielema took over:
Games Won Previous 5 Seasons by SEC Teams – 2008 – 2012
As anyone can clearly see above Arkansas was tied with Auburn for 38 wins between 2008 and 2012 before Bret Bielema arrived in Fayetteville and that includes the 4 win Total Disaster Season under John L. Smith in 2012 at Arkansas after Bobby Petrino dalliance with the blonde on the motorcycle so when Bielema arrived in town to coach the Razorbacks he was taking on a pretty good Arkansas Football Program and in the last 5 seasons Bielema has won…
29 Football Games
….with games still left at home against Mississippi State and Missouri which from where we sit could be “boat race” games with Arkansas getting “boat raced” right out of its home stadium in Bielema’s last two games as the Arkansas head coach!
Yes..Mississippi State is a MUST WIN Game for Bret Bielema and Arkansas!
Matt Rhule, Baylor vs. Iowa State– Matt Rhule is sitting on a record of 1 – 9 record in his first year at Baylor and still has to play games against…
Iowa State At TCU
…which looks like a 1 – 11 record to us and one has to wonder just why in the Hell Rhule was hired if he is going to win…
ONE Football Game
….with a Baylor team that won…
47 Football Games
…in the last 5 seasons because there is still plenty of Damn talent in Waco!
Yes…Iowa State is a MUST WIN Game for Matt Rhule and Baylor!
Kalani Sitake, BYU vs. UMass – In 2017 BYU has 3 wins and those 3 wins are over…
Portland State San Jose State UNLV
…and BYU has games left against 2 teams with losing records….
UMass At Hawaii
…and if Kalani Sitake’s Cougars can’t win these last 2 games then why in the Hell is Sitake the head coach at BYU?
There is No Damn Good Answer to that question!
Todd Graham, Arizona State vs. Oregon State– At the beginning of the 2017 college football season it was thought by us here at Coaches Hot Seat that Arizona State head coach Todd Graham needed at least…
8 wins in 2017
…to return to coach the Sun Devils next year and now in the middle of November it’s our opinion that if ASU finished with…
7 Wins in 2017
…that Todd Graham could hang onto his job and now at 5 – 5 Todd Graham better Damn win his last two games against…
At Oregon State Arizona
….and if Graham can’t beat Oregon State with an interim head coach then really now…
What the Hell’s the point of Todd Graham being the head coach at Arizona State?
Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M vs. Ole Miss – The word on the street in south Texas is that the decision on Kevin Sumlin has already been made by the Aggies making decisions in and out of College Station…meaning Sumlin is GONE….and with that in mind A&M’s Week 12 game against Ole Miss doesn’t really mean that much for the 6 – 4 Aggies but then Sumlin doesn’t want to go out losing games to…
At Ole Miss At LSU
NO….and once the season is over and Kevin Sumlin is sent packing it is going to be fascinating to see how A&M hires in this spot….Damn fascinating!
Steve Addazio, Boston College vs. UConn – The 5 – 5 Boston College Eagles and their head coach Steve Addazio REALLY need to win their last two games against…
UConn At Syracuse
….because anything less than 6 wins in 2017 and we believe Steve Addazio is DONE at BC and thus beating UConn is really a MUST WIN Game because you sure the Hell don’t want to go to Syracuse and try and win a game to hang onto your Damn job!
Barry Odom, Missouri vs. Vanderbilt –Missouri is now 5 – 5 on the year after wins over…
Idaho UConn Florida Tennessee
…which before the season looked like a 2 – 2 series of games at best but with Florida and Tennessee football programs totally imploding Barry Odom has a chance to get to 6 wins in 2017 with games left against…
At Vanderbilt At Arkansas
….and thus beating Vandy on Saturday is CRITICAL because Bret Bielema and the Hogs are going to need to win that last game of the season also and no doubt coaches across the SEC will be hoping that Bielema will find a way to hang onto his job so that Hogs will stay in the toilet at least into 2018 and beyond!
Don’t lose to Vandy Barry Odom!
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Missouri – After getting Vandy to a bowl game in 2016 head coach Derek Mason really can’t afford the 4 – 6 Commodores to not win 6+ games in 2017 and with these games left on the schedule…
Missouri At Tennessee
…if you don’t beat Mizzou on Saturday the Tennessee game doesn’t really mean that much but then we remember that we are living in…
Candy Ass America
…today where even 5 – 7 teams are going to bowl games but what about this…
Maybe Vandy winning 6 games in 2017 and EARNING right to go to a bowl game Derek Mason!
“Butch Jones was an abusive, vindictive, immoral, tyrannical dictator during his time at Tennessee. He cared only for Butch Jones and would destroy anyone in his path who challenged him. Sad that his players and staffers ever had to put up with such a small minded and hateful man.”
…and although we cannot verify the above with a first-hand account we have gotten enough opinions from people that have followed the Tennessee Football program for years that have told us similar things to believe the person behind the above tweet believes it to be true and in our opinion we believe it to be true also.
We could write a lot in this spot about what we have heard about Butch Jones from former players and coaches that played or worked with Jones in this spot, but why waste the time since what got Jones eventually fired at Tennessee is something that Butch Jones probably hasn’t….probably never will…come to grips with and in the end Jones Win/Loss record was driven by Butch’s unforced errors and mistakes off the field that collectively did tremendous damage to the Tennessee football program both on and off the field.
All we can say to Tennessee AD John Currie is that he better Damn get this new head coaching hire right because a mistake here Son and you will be out of collegiate athletics on the FBS level within three years!
It’s just our humble opinion but Tennessee should be able to hire a Head Football Coach who is a Helluva Coach and a Helluva Human Being…..Hell….the fans of Tennessee Football DESERVE that and if the Vols fall short of that mark we are going be about as disappointed as we were years ago when the Vols hired Lane Kiffin which we said was going to be a Damn Disaster and in the end launched the Damn Disaster Wagon Train to Hell the Tennessee Football program is still on right now!
1. Mike Riley, Nebraska – With Nebraska’s 54 – 21 loss to a 5 – 5 Minnesota team on Saturday we knew already that the Mike Riley three year era in Lincoln was over but for those 3 Damn Morons that didn’t know it was over…
The Mike Riley Era Is Over at Nebraska!
Mike Riley’s records at Nebraska now stand at…
Overall: 19 – 17
Big Ten: 12 – 12
…..and to say that the Riley hiring at Nebraska was one of the most inexplicable hirings in our 40+ years of watching college football here at Coaches Hot Seat would be a MASSIVE understatement which brings us to a much-discussed subject at Coaches Hot Seat:
Hiring the RIGHT Head Football Coach at “X” School
It’s self-evident to anyone with a working brain after firing Bo Pelini who averaged winning…
9.43 Wins Per Year
…coaching at Nebraska that Mike Riley is not going to be on a Potential Head Coaches List to replace Pelini if that list has 100 names on it which makes us wonder…
How could Nebraska have hired Mike Riley? How could Tennessee have hired Derek Dooley? How could Kansas have hired Charlie Weis and David Beaty? How could Alabama have hired Mike Price? How could Notre Dame have hired Charlie Weis?
We could go on for awhile here because we have a list of dozens of Inexplicable College Football Head Coaching Hires since the 1970s which brings us to what should be a Fail-Safe procedure before an AD at any school hires a new head football coach:
Talk to Football People before you make that hire and make sure those are Football People that are up on today’s game of college football because if they are they KNOW whether a coach can “really coach” or not and most importantly if he can get MORE out of players and a team than what most coaches can get because if he can then he can “really coach!” An AD doesn’t want to hire a coach that got “what was expected” out a football team and program but rather an AD should look to hire a coach that consistently has his teams performing at HIGHER levels than the talent-level he has on hand to coach. That may seem obvious, but college football coaches get hired every year that are only Average or Slightly Better Than Average relative to what they have at their disposal to coach so look for someone Good To Great at least ADs!
The best mental exercise for any AD to use when considering hiring “X” coach it to imagine in your mind’s eye what the coaches at your major rivals will say the moment they hear the name of the coach you are considering. Example:
Tennessee AD John Currie should think when hiring the next head of the Vols what will be Nick Saban’s IMMEDIATE reaction upon hearing who the next Tennessee head coach is going to be…if Saban says in your mind’s eye anything but…
“Damn! Well…that means the Tennessee game will be competitive again!”
….move on to another coach until you get the right reaction from Saban!
As for Mike Riley we will always wish Coach Riley the best and we certainly hope he can go out with a win in one of his last two games…
At Penn State Iowa
Give ‘Em Hell Mike Riley!
2. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – 5 years ago both Butch Jones and Bret Bielema were hired at Tennessee and Arkansas respectfully and with Jones now sent packing its worth looking at both of their records besides each other, but first one must understand that Bielema took over a Helluva Lot better football program than Jones took over at Tennessee which was a Total Disaster after Kiffin and Dooley with Bielema taking over an Arkansas team loaded with talent that under Bobby Petrino was one of the top teams in the SEC!
Butch Jones: 2013 – 2017
Overall: 34 – 27
SEC: 14 – 24
Bret Bielema: 2013 – 2017
Overall: 29 – 32
SEC: 11 – 27
Translation: Butch Jones was Borderline Disaster at Tennessee primarily driven by Butch’s own unforced errors and Bret Bielema has been nothing short of…
Complete Freaking Disaster
…after taking over a sold Hogs program at Arkansas and the Hogs at 4 – 6 on the season still have to play…
Mississippi State Missouri
We are going to let everyone on in a little secret about Hiring and Firing people:
99 times out of 100 the person hiring someone knows within 90 days whether they made a good hire or not.
Yes….one hears all the time that a coach needs several years to “get his kids in the program” but the reality is that Good forget about Great Coaches can immediately impact a football program and the things that a head coach does in his first 90 days often tells the tale on whether that coach will be successful or not and whether the Athletic Director that hired that coach admits it or not…He/She knows very soon after the hire whether it was the right hire or not.
We say the above because our Good Arkansas Buddy in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who has been going to Razorbacks football games for 40+ years told us a couple of months into Bielema’s tenure at Arkansas….
“It’s just not going to work with Bielema. It may take a couple of years or five years but in the end it’s just not going to work out for Bret at Arkansas.”
Our recommendation to the Good Folks at the University of Arkansas:
Send Bret Bielema packing in a few weeks and hire Memphis head coach Mike Norvell to coach the Razorbacks!
3. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – An amazing number to look at when considering Kevin Sumlin’s career as the head coach at Texas A&M is that in his SIXTH year at the school that has EVERYTHING a head coach would need to win a Helluva lot of football games is that the Aggies are…
6 – 4
….with games still left against…
At Mississippi At LSU
…which of course means that A&M will officially be looking for a new head football coach in a few weeks and this is going to be a Helluva interesting hire in College Station.
A few of us here at Coaches Hot Seat have been lucky enough to have been on the Texas A&M campus a dozen-plus times both for football games and during the off-football-season and Aggieville is just a very unique place that needs a very unique coach that can fully embrace and get a Helluva lot out of A&M and then translate that “Aggie Energy” as we like to call it to the football field to win football games!
It’s often said that a head football coach is the “primary face” of a college football program and often a school and sometimes an entire state like Nick Saban is in Alabama, and to understand that when traveling across America get questions from people in sports, in business, in politics, in every line of work about Nick Saban and what he is doing at Alabama who primarily know something about the state of Alabama because of the Alabama football program and its success over the past decade. At Texas A&M the head football coach is REALLY the face of the Aggies Football Program and the Entire School for that matter and A&M AD Scott Woodward better Damn not mess up this hire because if he does his ass will be out of a job in short order!
4. David Beaty, Kansas – David Beaty’s record in 3 seasons as the head coach at Kansas:
Overall: 3 – 31
Big 12: 1 – 24
That’s enough said about David Beaty at Kansas.
5. Lovie Smith, Illinois – With the Illini’s loss at home to Indiana on Saturday Illinois is now 2 – 8 overall and 0 – 7 in the Big Ten and Lovie Smith’s records in 2 seasons at Illinois now stand at:
Overall: 5 – 17
Big Ten: 2 – 14
Oh…in 2 seasons Lovie Smith + Illinois has not beaten a FBS team with a winning record.
Please…someone…anyone…why is Lovie Smith the head coach of the Illinois Football team?
6. Todd Graham, Arizona State – With Arizona State’s loss to UCLA at the Rose Bowl on Saturday the Sun Devils fell to 5 – 5 on the year and still have to play games against…
At Oregon State Arizona
….which to us looks like a 6 – 6 finish to the season based upon the way Arizona is playing these days and there’s not a chance in Hell or Tempe in the Summer that Todd Graham can hang onto his job with a .500 record in his SIXTH season on the job at Arizona State.
Todd Graham is a solid football coach who like Butch Jones has made some self-inflicted + unforced errors at Arizona State and if the folks at ASU are going to be make a head coaching change they must do ONE thing for sure:
Hire A Head Coach BETTER Than Todd Graham!
7. David Bailiff, Rice – David Bailiff has been at the head coach at Rice for 11 years now which is as long as Coaches Hot Seat has been around starting in the 2007 college football season and in those 11 seasons Bailiff has put up records of…
Overall: 57 – 78
CUSA: 40 – 46
….and he has THREE .500 or better seasons + bowl game trips with the last one coming in 2014 and in our opinion with the 1 – 9 Owls still having to play…
At Old Dominion North Texas
….Rice will be looking for a new head football coach in a couple of weeks and also in our opinion Rice will be able to hire a pretty good coach because Rice also-also in our opinion is a Pretty Damn Good Job with a Helluva lot of very good football players within a 3 hour drive of its campus in Houston!
Great Luck the rest of the season Coach Bailiff!
8. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – Kliff Kingsbury and Texas Tech got a MUST WIN over Baylor on Saturday but then this Baylor football team is 1 – 9 with only a win over Kansas so beating the Bears isn’t much at all and with that win the Red Raiders are now 5 – 5 on the season with games still left against…
TCU At Texas
Damn….it will take some serious football playing for Texas Tech to win either of their last two games and we guess if Tech did win both of them and finished at 7 – 5 overall and 4 – 5 in Big 12 play Kingsbury could hang onto his job in Lubbock but that’s a Helluva BIG IF!
9. Brad Lambert, Charlotte – What we know about the Charlotte Football program you could write on a matchbook but we do know that head coach Brad Lambert in FIVE seasons coaching a Charlotte has records on the board of…
Overall: 17 – 39
CUSA: 4 – 18
…and even at Charlotte that must put your job in serious jeopardy!
…..and at best that looks like 6 – 6 on the season in Mora’s SIXTH year on the job in Westwood.
With a $12M+ buyout and very few rich UCLA alumni that give two rips whether the Bruins win another football game or not it’s not likely that Mora will be fired after this season but that sure the Hell doesn’t mean he’s not on the Hot Seat at Coaches Hot Seat where…
We Expect Excellence In A Place Like UCLA
…even if the folks in the UCLA Athletic Department are willing to accept…
Luke Fickell, Cincinnati vs. Temple – In his first season as the head coach at Cincinnati Luke Fickell is off to a dreadful start which would have moved into Total Disaster area if the Bearcats had lost to Tulane who they beat by one point last Saturday and for Damn sure Fickell better not lose at home to Temple at home on Friday night with these games left to be played after the Owls:
At East Carolina UConn
Hell….Cincinnati SHOULD be able to win their last two games over ECU and UConn so beating Temple to give the Bearcats at least a chance to get to 6 wins in 2017 is a MUST so coach your team up Son!
Kalani Sitake, BYU vs. UNLV – BYU is already 2 – 8 on the season which will break a streak of 12 straight postseason appearances for the Cougars and now it’s a matter of BYU not embarrassing itself down the stretch in its last three games against…
At UNLV UMass At Hawaii
A normal BYU team would have a better than 90% chance of beating the last three teams on their schedule but Hell this BYU team…might just lose all three….and if BYU finishes at 2 – 10 in 2017 Kalani Sitake might very well find himself out of a job come early December because our Mormon friends in Utah are not going to put up with the BYU Football program being Totally Destroyed by ANYONE!
Gus Malzahn, Auburn vs. Georgia – Not only is Gus Malzahn…
0 – 6
…the last three seasons against Georgia and Alabama Malzahn’s record in SEC play since the 2014 season forward now stands at…
16 – 14
…and because of that the calculus on The Plains is very simple for Gus Malzahn…if Auburn loses to Georgia and Alabama this year he will be…
0 – 8
…against the Dawgs and Tide the last 4 seasons and Malzahn’s record in SEC play will be sitting on…
16 – 16
…and there’s not a chance in Hell Gus Malzahn can survive to coach Auburn again in 2018 with that kind of record in SEC play!
Beat Georgia Gus Malzahn because for Damn sure you don’t want your job status for 2018 riding on beating Nick Saban and Alabama on November 25 Son!
Steve Addazio, Boston College vs. NC State– Steve Addazio and Boston College has won 3 straight games over…
Louisville Virginia Florida State
….to raise the Eagles record to 5 – 4 on the year but to get to 6 wins for Addazio to keep his job he needs at least 1 win in BC’s last three games against…
NC State UConn At Syracuse
Hell…if Steve Addazio can’t win at least 1 of their last 3 games his ass should be fired in late November!
Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. LSU– With the Total Damn Disaster against Coastal Carolina narrowly avoided last week Bret Bielema is still sitting on a record in SEC play of…
11 – 26
….in 5 years as the head coach at Arkansas and the 4 – 5 Razorbacks still have games in 2017 against….
At LSU Mississippi State Missouri
Damn….that looks like 3 more losses for Arkansas this season which means Arkansas would finish at….
4 – 8
…and we remind everyone this is Bielema’s FIFTH season on the job but then now…this is the University of Arkansas we are talking about here where…
We Are Below Damn Average and Proud Of It!
Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech vs. Baylor– In FIVE seasons as the head coach at Texas Tech Kliff Kingsbury the prodigal son is sitting on records of…
Overall: 28 – 31
Big 12: 14 – 29
….and Tech still has to play this season games against:
Baylor TCU At Texas
Hell…if Tech doesn’t beat Baylor on Saturday 4 – 5 Tech has no chance to get to 6 wins in 2017 which for Texas Tech Football still…
Below Damn Average
….so Tech will be looking for a new head football coach save Kingsbury running the table the rest of the year…right?
Matt Rhule, Baylor vs. Texas Tech– Luckily for Matt Rhule and Baylor there are Helluva lot of Damn Morons in Lawrence, Kansas that have no Damn idea how to hire a head football coach so the Bears did get a win over Kansas last week but if Rhule is actually coaching this Baylor football team one would think he would get at least 2 wins in 2017….right?
Baylor has left in 2017 games against…
Texas Tech Iowa State At TCU
Damn Matt Rhule…you better beat Tech on Saturday Son because there’s No Damn Way you are beating Iowa State and TCU!
Lovie Smith, Illinois vs. Indiana – With the loss to Purdue in Week 10 the Illini are now 2 – 7 on the season with games still left against…
Indiana At Ohio State Northwestern
….and if Illinois doesn’t beat Indiana at home they are looking at 2 – 10 record in 2017 after Lovie Smith posted a record of 3 – 9 in his first year on the job!
Damn…please…someone…anyone…why is Lovie Smith the head coach of the Illinois football team?
Mark Stoops, Kentucky vs. Vanderbilt– Last week Mark Stoops lost a MUST WIN Game against Ole Miss at home and if Mark wants to find his ass right back on the Hot Seat as the 2017 football season heads to the close then he can…
Lose to Vanderbilt on Saturday
….and no doubt if Mark Stoops loses this game his ass will be right back on the Hot Seat with a record of 6 – 4 and games still left against…
At Georgia Louisville
Don’t lose Vandy Mark….no don’t do that Son!
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Kentucky – Derek Mason got his MUST WIN over Western Kentucky last Saturday and now the Commodores must keep things rolling by beating Kentucky in Week 11 because 4 – 5 Vandy needs 2 more wins and they still have to play games against…
Kentucky Missouri At Tennessee
Don’t lose to Kentucky Derek…no don’t do that Son!
David Beaty, Kansas vs. Texas – Last season Kansas beat Texas in Lawrence and this year the Jayhawks are 30+ point underdogs against the Horns in Austin and does anyone think Kansas can win this football game?
Not A Damn Person on Earth!
In 3 seasons as the head coach at Kansas David Beaty’s records are…
Overall: 3 – 30
Big 12: 1 – 23
….and KU still has to play this season:
At Texas Oklahoma At Oklahoma State
Turn out the lights because the party is way Damn over in Lawrence for David Beaty!
Butch Jones, Tennessee vs. Missouri– We have been hearing a Helluva lot of interesting info coming out of East Tennessee about who might be the next head coach of the Tennessee Vols with that info going like…
Jon Gruden will or has already been offered the Vols head coaching job
….and right now there are about 5 coaches on the list in the #2 slot if Gruden turns UT down and maybe takes another NFL head coaching job.
The most hilarious thing this week in SEC Football is that Tennessee Football is…
12+ point underdogs
…to a Mizzou Football Team that has a head coach in Barry Odom who in 2 seasons has a record in SEC play of…
3 – 10!
Barry Odom, Missouri vs. Tennessee– Barry Odom has won 3 straight games over 3 pretty weak teams in…
Idaho UConn Florida
…to raise Mizzou’s record to 4 – 5 on the season and this Saturday’s game against a collapsing Tennessee team is a MUST WIN for Odom because a loss in this spot would be nothing short of a…
Complete Freaking Disaster
…and Barry Odom’s ass will be nothing short of a Roaring Forest Fire!
Todd Graham, Arizona State vs. UCLA– We checked in with our contact in Tempe again this week and the word on Todd Graham’s future at Arizona State is that he needs…
…in 2017 to return to coach the Sun Devils next season and now at 5 – 4 with these games left to be played…
At UCLA At Oregon State Arizona
…beating UCLA on Saturday is just flat-out a MUST WIN for Todd Graham!
Jim Mora, UCLA vs. Arizona State– To really understand how bad things are for Jim Mora at UCLA in Jim’s last 25 games coaching the Bruins his record is…
9 – 16
….and fired UCLA head coach Rick Neuheisel’s record in his last 25 games in Westwood was…
10 – 15
….and Rick’s ass got run right of town so Mora would be held to the same standard….right?
Well…one would hope so!
UCLA is now 4 – 5 on the season with games left against…
Arizona State At USC California
….and that sure the Hell looks like a losing season to us especially if the Bruins lose to the Sun Devils in the Rose Bowl on Saturday!
Please Let Us Introduce the Man That Needs No Introduction…Mr. Johnny Cash! Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!
Thank You Mr. Cash!
1. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – It’s hard to know exactly where things went wrong for Kevin Sumlin at Texas A&M but then if Johnny Manziel had been kicked of the Aggies football team for the Horseshit that Johnny was up to a few years back and it seems like is still up to today would Sumlin have ever posted that…
11 – 2
…record in 2012 and beaten Alabama in Tuscaloosa?
No…not a chance in Hell and when you take out that first season of Sumlin’s at Texas A&M which included an overall record of 11 – 2 and a SEC record of 6 – 2 one finds what one would expect to find for a place like Aggies Football over the past FIVE seasons:
Kevin Sumlin: 2013 – 2017
Overall: 38 – 23 (.623)
SEC: 18 – 20 (.474)
We remind everyone that the above records over the past FIVE seasons were posted at TEXAS A&M where any Damn Moron can win 7+ games a year and you have EVERYTHING you could possibly want to win a Helluva lot of football games so in reality the story of Kevin Sumlin in College Station in the end will be…
Johnny Manziel for a couple of seasons…and not the Hell much else!
One thing we noticed this year watching Texas A&M football games were the announcers almost bragging about how Kevin Sumlin was, “playing a lot freshman” as if for some reason the Aggies in Sumlin’s FIFTH year on the job don’t have….
Any Damn Upperclassman To Play
…which may in fact be the story of what has been going on at A&M and as we look down the Aggies Football roster today in early November 2017 we cannot help but think…
Where in the Hell did all those great players that Kevin Sumlin recruited to Texas A&M go?
On top of all of the above with the loss to Auburn on Saturday Kevin Sumlin’s record against Power 5 Conference Schools at Kyle Field now stands at…
9 – 14
….and guess who those 9 wins are over?
Missouri Vanderbilt Mississippi State x 2 Arizona State South Carolina x 2 UCLA Tennessee
Anyone willing to hazard a guess how many of the above teams had winning records in the years that A&M beat them at Kyle Field?
It seems obvious now that Kevin Sumlin will be fired before December arrives with the 5 – 4 Aggies having games left against…
New Mexico At Ole Miss At LSU
…and it will be Damn Fascinating to see who they hire to replace Sumlin because the folks at Texas A&M like the folks at Florida haven’t exactly been hitting it out of the park in hiring head football coaches in recent years!
If we were the AD at Texas A&M we would offer Virginia Tech head coach Justin Fuente…
$7M a year for 6 years
…and see if he could be lured to College Station to take on the challenge of coaching + winning in the SEC.
2. Butch Jones, Tennessee – After four straight losses Tennessee finally got a win on Saturday against a Southern Miss team that just lost to UAB which raises the Vols record to 4 – 5 on the season with games left against…
Davis claimed he suffered “constant intimidation, bullying, and mental abuse” from Butch Jones and that he resigned from UT because of the “hostile work environment.”
As we try to imagine Butch Jones bullying Antone Davis when anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat would have kicked Jones Precious Damn Ass if he had tried that with us in the process teaching Butch a few things we learned in the US Navy we cannot help but wonder just what in the Hell is going on…and has been going on…for the last five years in Knoxville?
Football is a tough sport…it’s a rough sport…it’s not a sport for the weak-hearted, but there’s no excuse for Butch Jones bullying ANYONE and if the above is true just for that Bullshit if it actually happened Jones ass should have already been fired and no doubt in our minds eventually Jones will be fired and it will be very Damn interesting to see if any other schools hire Jones which we have to think his agent Jimmy Sexton has been working the phones on for a few weeks now.
It’s just our humble opinion after watching Butch Jones over the past few years at Tennessee and talking to the good folks in East Tennessee who have seen the Jones era first-hand…
We wouldn’t hire Butch Jones to wash our cars
…even though we acknowledge that Jones is a decent…not good…not great…but decent football coach who is a solid recruiter but is also very average at getting a lot out of the recruits he gets to the school he is coaching.
We haven’t a Damn Clue what’s next for Butch Jones or Tennessee Football but it’s going to be a Damn interesting hire to coach the Vols next and UT AD John Currie better Damn get this hire right because there will be no second chance if he messes this up and it will be a Total Disaster if we are right back in this same spot in a couple of years with the Vols coach’s ass back on the Hot Seat!
3. Mike Riley, Nebraska – Mike Riley is a nice man…Blah..Blah..Blah..but Mike Riley is also an Average Football Coach who has an overall college record of..
112 – 96 (.538)
….at Oregon State and Nebraska and still to this very moment we cannot for the life of us why there was ANYONE on Earth that believed Mike Riley was the right coach to replace Bo Pelini in Lincoln!
Hell…if the AD of Nebraska had come to us as President of the school and said he was going to hire Mike Riley as the head coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers we would have told him…
“Not only are you not hiring Mike Riley to be the next head coach at Nebraska but your ass is now fired because you are clearly a Damn Moron Son!”
Now…if Mike Riley called Coaches Hot Seat tonight and told us he really needed “X” done that did not involve taking his ass off the Hot Seat…
We would do it as fast as humanly possible
….because Riley is the kind of guy if you were really in trouble a person you would go to because Mike is going to the best of his ability help you and get your ass on the down the road into a better place. In the end being a good human being is a Helluva lot more important than being a winning football coach but then Nebraska has had some Helluva Great Human Beings…
Bob Devaney Tom Osborne
…who won a Helluva lot of football games and we have no doubt if the folks in Lincoln put their minds to it they will find another Great Football Coach + Helluva Human Being to lead their football team again soon.
Our opinion on what is going to happen at Nebraska after Mike Riley is…
Scott Frost will or already has gotten around a $6M a year + 5 years offer from Nebraska which if Frost turns down will lead the folks in Lincoln to offering their head coaching job to current Wyoming head coach Craig Bohl who played and coached for Tom Osborne at Nebraska and is a Helluva Football Coach winning THREE straight FCS National Titles at North Dakota State.
If we had to guess today it would be that Scott Frost takes the Florida head coaching job and Craig Bohl is hired at Nebraska and both schools will have made a Helluva upgrade on the football coaching front!
4. David Beaty, Kansas – With the Kansas home loss to Baylor on Saturday David Beaty’s records in THREE season as the head coach at KU now stand at…
Overall: 3 – 30
Big 12: 1 – 23
…and the 1 – 8 Jayhawks still have to play…
At Texas Oklahoma At Oklahoma State
Got 1 – 11 KU?
Is Kansas Football any better today than it was when David Beaty took over in 2015?
No…in fact..it could be argued that KU Football is worse today because in Two-And-A-Half seasons coaching Kansas Chubby Charlie Weis won…
6 Football Games
…and more than likely David Beaty is going to win…
3 Football Games
…in 3 FULL years on the job!
Here’s a Pro Tip for the folks at the University of Kansas:
Hire A QUALIFIED HEAD FOOTBALL COACH this time folks!
Geez…we actually had to write the above line out! What a time to be alive!
5. Bret Bielema, Arkansas –
Really Bret Bielema?
39 – 38 win over Coastal Carolina Son?
Here’s who Coastal Carolina had lost to in 2017 before playing Arkansas:
Texas State Appalachian State Arkansas State Georgia State La. Monroe Western Illinois UAB
Arkansas State beat Coastal Carolina by the score of…
51 – 17
…on October 14 of THIS YEAR and it took a Damn Miracle for Bielema’s Hogs to beat the Chanticleers…what the Hell is a Chanticleer anyway….and this is Bielema’s FIFTH year on the job at Arkansas in the NINTH Damn game of the 2017 season!
Call the Hogs alright…Call the Damn Hogs to Haul Bret Bielema’s ass out of Arkansas and back north of the Mason-Dixon line…and take AD Jeff Long with him…because a few more weeks of this Horseshit and the Arkansas Football program is going to cease to exist!
Let’s check Bret Bielema’s records now after that BIG win over the Chanticleers!
Overall: 29 – 31
SEC: 11 – 26
Oh…4 – 5 Arkansas still has to play this season games against…
At LSU Mississippi State Missouri
Please…someone in Arkansas…for the Love of God and the Pillsbury Dough Boy…put a fork in Bielema…he’s done folks!
Ditto for AD Jeff Long = Fork!
6. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – With the overtime loss to a mediocre Kansas State team on their home field Kliff Kingsbury and Texas Tech are 4 – 5 on the season and it seems the folks in Lubbock have had their fill of the Kingsbury-era:
Who can blame the fans of Texas Tech Football when Kingsbury is sitting on records of…
Overall: 28 – 31
Big 12: 14 – 29
…which is Below Damn Average for what we would expect of ANY head football coach at Tech and thus it seems with these games left to be played…
Baylor TCU At Texas
…the Kingsbury era is effectively over already and for God’s and the Pillsbury Dough Boy’s sake….someone in West Texas….put a fork in Kliff…he’s done!
Word is that Kliff Kingsbury has a $6 million dollar buyout for no Damn logical reason which just makes perfect Damn sense in this…
Age of the Damn Idiots in AD Positions Everywhere One Looks!
7. Lovie Smith, Illinois – Last week we asked everyone at Coaches Hot Seat the following question:
“If you were the AD at Illinois a couple of years ago and you were asked to draw up a list of 100 coaches to be the next head football coach of the Illini would Lovie Smith have been on the list?”
NO ONE here at Coaches Hot Seat said that Lovie Smith would have been on their list of 100 coaches to be the next head football coach of the Illini a couple of years ago and yet…
Lovie Smith is the head coach of the Illini Football team
..and Smith after the loss to Purdue on Saturday is sitting on records of…
Overall: 5 – 16
Big Ten: 2 – 13
…and the 2 – 7 Illini still have to play this season games against:
Indiana At Ohio State Northwestern
Please…someone….anyone…why is Lovie Smith the head coach at Illinois?
8. Jim Mora, UCLA – Evidently when you are on a four game losing streak one of the best things that can happen to you is see the UCLA Bruins on the schedule next and luckily for the 4 losses in a row Utah Utes they did get to play UCLA on Friday night and the score of that game was…
Utah – 48 UCLA – 17
With that loss to Utah Jim Mora’s Bruins are now 4 – 5 on the season with still games to be played against…
Arizona State At USC California
….and from where we sit that looks like a another losing record for the Bruins in 2017 and for Jim Mora that would be TWO straight losing seasons in Westwood and in Mora’s last 25 games the Bruins are now…
9 – 16
…which is a winning percentage of…
….but then this is UCLA we are talking about here so..
We Are Average As Hell and Proud Of It!
What went wrong for Jim Mora at UCLA?
There’s a lot we could write in this spot to answer that question but in our humble opinion the Bruins have had plenty of talent to compete and even win the Pac-12 the last SIX seasons under Mora but in the end having to work and play for a…
Pompous Arrogant Ass
…like Jim Mora was just too much for the UCLA Football program to overcome. Some schools are so strong and some football coaches are so good they can overcome being a…
Pompous Arrogant Ass
…and win a Helluva lot of football games but that’s not going to happen at UCLA and certainly not UCLA under Jim Mora who had made a lot of unforced errors on and off the football field in the last SIX years that will ultimately lead to his firing in Westwood either this year or next.
9. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – The best news for Larry Fedora and North Carolina this past week was that they had a bye so they couldn’t…
Get Their Asses Whipped on the Field
…which no doubt will happen a couple more times this season with the 1 – 8 Tar Heels still having to play games against…
At Pitt Western Carolina At NC State
Considering the University of North Carolina and North Carolina Athletics just got away with….
Decades of Massive Academic Fraud
….let all good folks hope and pray that…
North Carolina Football is Totally Destroyed in the Coming Years
….to make up for the NCAA’s lack of punishment for what is in our opinion…
The Most Corrupt Collegiate Athletic Department in the History of Collegiate Athletics in America!
10. Kalani Sitake, BYU – With the loss to Fresno State on Saturday night BYU’s record on the season now stands at 2 – 8 and head coach Kalani Sitake’s record in TWO seasons on the job is…
Overall: 11 – 12
….which at a place like BYU is nothing short of a…
Total Damn Disaster
…and the Cougars still have to play games against…
At UNLV UMass At Hawaii
…which are all 3 very losable football games!
Maybe Kalani Sitake can get things turned around at BYU after this disastrous to date 2017 season…and maybe he cannot…but either way one has to wonder how long BYU will stick with Sitake who had no head coaching experience when he took over the BYU job which has seen the Cougars take a major step backwards in Year 2 which is always a very troubling thing for head coaches since few head coaches last long-term when they go backwards in Year 2 from Year 1 and in Year 1 BYU posted a record of…
16 CFB Head Coaches Facing MUST WIN Games in 2017 Who’s Coaches + Teams Need To Take It To the Limit in Week 10!
Jim Mora, UCLA vs. Utah – It’s bad enough that Jim Mora is 9 – 15 in his last 24 games coaching the UCLA Bruins but now Jim is fighting ESPN commentator and former Washington Husky QB Brock Huard who made some accurate comments about Pretty Boy Bruin QB Josh Rosen and here comes a game at Utah…which is having a Helluva lot of problems itself….for the 4 – 4 Bruins who may not get to a .500+ season and a bowl game for the second straight year.
How many games will UCLA win out of its last 4 games?
At Utah Arizona State At USC California
Our guess 2 games which means the Bruins might just get their coveted 6 wins in 2017 and when you get 6 wins at UCLA which is…
Average As Hell
…at most places BUT you are Golden in Westwood because after this is…
UCLA we are talking about here = Average As Hell and Proud of It!
Gus Malzahn, Auburn vs. Texas A&M – This is very simple for Gus Malzahn on Saturday against Texas A&M:
Gus Malzahn and his Auburn Tigers cannot lose this game because with these games left to be played…
At Texas A&M Georgia La. Monroe Alabama
….a loss in this spot with the Dawgs and Bama still on the docket and that looks a Helluva lot like…
7 – 5
….to us for Auburn in 2017 and we have been told by someone on The Plains we trust that…
“Anything less than 9 wins and Gus Malzahn is DONE at Auburn and one of those 9 wins better Damn be over Georgia or Alabama!”
Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M vs. Auburn – Not only can Gus Malzahn not afford to lose the games to the Aggies on the Saturday Kevin Sumlin and his A&M team just flat-out…
CANNOT Lose to Auburn!
We have had the feeling for awhile now the that money folks in and around Texas A&M Athletics have had their eye on one particular coach to replace Kevin Sumlin if Sumlin didn’t…
…in 2017 and from where we sit “Meet Expectations” is…
…and the Aggies now at 5 – 3 on the year still have 4 games against…
Auburn New Mexico At Ole Miss At LSU
…and since A&M would have to win out the rest of their games to get to 9 wins it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to understand that a loss to Auburn on Saturday and the Kevin Sumlin era in College Station will end shortly after the Aggies play LSU in Baton Rouge on Saturday, November 25.
Don’t Lose to Auburn Son!
Barry Odom, Missouri vs. Florida – Mizzou head coach Barry Odom has had some luck go his way the last couple of weeks with that luck primarily being that the Tigers got to play doormats…
Idaho and UConn
…in the middle of the 2017 college football season which raised Mizzou’s record to…
3 – 5
…on the year and Odom got some more luck this past week when now former Florida head coach Jim McElwain went running like a Damn Coward from the Gators head coaching job…in our opinion Jimmy…which leaves Florida with Randy Shannon as the interim-head coach which may end up being bad luck for Odom and the Tigers since Shannon might actually have the Florida football team ready to play on Saturday!
With these games left on the schedule for Mizzou…
Florida Tennessee At Vanderbilt At Arkansas
…we have been told by a bird that if Odom win less than 2 of the remaining 4 games there’s a better than 50 – 50 chance his ass gets run out of Columbia in late November.
No…don’t lose to the Florida Gators on Saturday Barry Odom…Son!
Lovie Smith, Illinois vs. Purdue – With the Illini’s loss to Wisconsin last week that drops Lovie Smith’s record at Illinois now to…
Overall: 5 – 15
Big Ten: 2 – 12
…and the Illini are 2 – 6 on the 2017 with these games left to be played:
At Purdue Indiana Ohio State Northwestern
Hell….if Illinois doesn’t beat Purdue on Saturday the Illini will not win another game in 2017 and finish at 2 – 10 and the Lovie Smith era at Illinois will then be nothing short of a…
Complete and Total Disaster!
Don’t lose to Purdue Lovie!
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Western Kentucky – It seems like it was only yesterday that Vanderbilt was 3 – 0 and playing Alabama in Nashville on CBS Sports but after the Tide whipped the Commodores by the score of…
59 – 0
….Vandy has now lost 5 straight football games to be 3 – 5 on the year with a CRITICAL game on Saturday against Western Kentucky that Vanderbilt head coach Derek Mason can just flat-out..
Kentucky Missouri At Tennessee
…to finish the year for Vandy after Western Kentucky as loss in this spot and there’s little chance that the Commodores will be returning to a bowl game this season and for Damn sure if that doesn’t happen Derek Mason’s ass…
Will Be on a Roaring Hot Seat!
David Beaty, Kansas vs. Baylor– Just look at these Win/Loss numbers for Kansas head coach David Beaty in 3 seasons at Kansas:
Overall: 3 – 29
Big 12: 1 – 22
Kansas Football is now 1 – 7 on the 2017 season and have left to play in 2017…
Baylor At Texas Oklahoma At Oklahoma State
…and if the Jayhawks lose to a winless Baylor team on Saturday at home they will finish this year at….
1 – 11
….and No One In Kansas or Across College Football Will Give A Damn!
What a Damn Shame….but then when you hire coaches that are clearly NOT qualified to be the head coach of a school in the Big 12 what else would one expect to happen?
What a Crying and Disgraceful Damn Shame Kansas Football is today!
Matt Rhule, Baylor vs. Kansas – Maybe the Baptists that run Baylor University will let the football program run wild for years will allow the current head coach Matt Rhule to win very few games and also get his ass kissed…like they kissed Art Briles Precious Ass for years….but we here at Coaches Hot Seat will sure the Hell not do that since we were raised by Americans and when your ass is…
0 – 8
…on the season your ass is on the Hot Seat!
Baylor is now 0 – 8 in the first year under Matt Rhule and the Bears got their asses whipped last week by Texas by the score of 38 – 7 and we are getting a whiff of…
A Team Totally Quitting
…and if Baylor loses to a Totally Damn Hapless Kansas team on Saturday it will be confirmed…
The Bears Have QUIT on their head coach Matt Rhule!
Let’s all see if the Bears Totally QUIT on Saturday as we expect them to do and lose to Kansas!
Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech vs. Kansas State – We never thought Kliff Kingsbury would win big as the head coach at Texas Tech but we did think he would have .500+ records by his SIXTH year on the job but right now Kingsbury is sitting on Win/Loss records of…
Overall: 28 – 30
Big 12: 14 – 28
….which we would label as…
Below Damn Average
….and we don’t know many head coaches at Power 5 Conference Schools that can survive for long being…
Below Damn Average!
Texas Tech at 4 – 4 on the season has left to play in 2017….
Kansas State Baylor TCU At Texas
…and anything less than 2 more wins in the last 4 games and the Kingsbury era at Texas Tech will come to an end before December 1 arrives on the calendar and even if Kingsbury goes 6 – 6 in 2017 that will still be…
Below Damn Average
…for Texas Tech Football!
Jimbo Fisher, Florida State vs. Syracuse– A few years ago someone that has known Jimbo Fisher for a couple of decades now told us about Jimbo….
“Forget LSU…if Jimbo Fisher ever leaves Florida State it will be for Auburn.”
The above makes sense considering Jimbo coached at Auburn under Terry Bowden but would Auburn want Jimbo Fisher now who has a football team in a Total and Complete Meltdown in 2017 with a 2 – 5 record with still a few tough games left on the board against…
Syracuse At Clemson Delaware State At Florida
Hell…if FSU loses to Syracuse on Saturday they will more than likely end up with only 3 wins on the board in 2017 and this is a team that coming into this season had won under Fisher…
61 of their last 70 games!
What’s gone wrong for FSU in 2017 besides losing their starting QB against Alabama in the opening game of the season?
Try some Very Average Football after the Alabama game thru the Duke game and then some Disgraceful Football the last two weeks against Louisville and Boston College which could turn into a…
FSU Team Totally Quitting on the year if they lose to Syracuse on Saturday!
Don’t let your 2017 Florida State football team QUIT Jimbo…not if you are planning on winning a Damn thing in 2018 Son!
Mark Stoops, Kentucky vs. Ole Miss – Mark Stoops has been cruising along winning a lot of close games at Kentucky in 2017 and the Cats are 6 – 2 on the year but they still have games against…
Ole Miss At Vanderbilt At Georgia Louisville
…and a loss to Ole Miss on Saturday with 3 more losable games still left on the schedule and Stoops might just wake-up on Monday morning with his ass back on the Hot Seat so Mark Stoops…
Don’t Lose to Ole Miss Son!
Luke Fickell, Cincinnati vs. Tulane – Cincinnati is paying head coach Luke Fickell a Helluva lot of money….
$1.9 Million Dollars A Year
…with a current buyout of…
$9.1 Million Dollars
…which is AMAZING when one considers that Fickell did very little as interim head coach at Ohio State in 2011 and now Fickell is 2 – 6 in his first season with the Bearcats and they still have to play in 2017….
At Tulane Temple At East Carolina UConn
….and if Cincinnati did lose in New Orleans to Tulane on Saturday Fickell is going to find his ass on a…
Roaring Hot Seat
…of EPIC proportions come Monday morning!
Don’t lose to Tulane Son!
Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. Coastal Carolina– We cannot imagine Arkansas losing to a Below Average Coastal Carolina football team that is without its head coach Joe Moglia in 2017 so all we have to say about this is…
Don’t Lose To Coastal Carolina Bielema
…especially with these games left to end the season after CC for the 3 – 5 Hogs:
At LSU Mississippi State Missouri
Will Arkansas even get to 6 wins in his FIFTH year on the job when Any Random Stumble Bum could easily win 6+ games in his FIFTH year coaching the Hogs?
Who knows and there’s the problem with Arkansas Football today and it’s our opinion that there are people working for the University of Arkansas right now that…
Burn Down the Entire State of Arkansas just to avoid having to admit they are WRONG!
Yes…there are Pompous Arrogant Asses and then there are folks like Arkansas AD Jeff Long who in our opinion believes that he spun up the Universe and everyone should get down on their knees and kiss his…
NEVER worked a day in his life in the Real World Precious Ass!
Most…no make that EVERY…company in America if you have hired…
Bobby Petrino – Damn Disaster John L. Smith – Damn Disaster Bret Bielema – Damn Disaster
…you are ass would have been fired long ago but then Jeff Long works for the University of Arkansas where…
We Are A Total Damn Disaster and Proud Of It!
Butch Jones, Tennessee vs. Southern Miss – The Tennessee Vols are…
3 – 5 Overall
0 – 5 in SEC
…in 2017 and we are not quite sure why Butch Jones is still employed in Knoxville considering his records now stand at…
Overall: 33 – 26
SEC: 14 – 23
….which is certainly You Ass Should Be Fired Worth at a place like Tennessee and we are guessing that Jones and Vols AD John Currie are just playing out some kind of crazy string that no one with a working brain can possibly understand over these last four games…
Southern Miss At Missouri LSU Vanderbilt
Memo to Tennessee AD John Currie: Don’t mess up this head coaching hire Son or your athletic director career will be over before you turn 50 Son!
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan vs. Minnesota– Jim Harbaugh is now coaching in a Knife’s Edge at Michigan where one bad loss could send Jimmy and Blue spiraling out-of-control and a loss to a Very Average Minnesota team at home is the kind of bad loss that could blow the whole Damn thing up in Ann Arbor!
Now at 6 – 2 on the year and still having to play these games…
Minnesota At Maryland At Wisconsin Ohio State
…that looks like a record of 8 – 4 for Jim in his THIRD year on the job which is…
Average As Hell
….at Michigan Jimmy!
Don’t lose to Minnesota Son!
Todd Graham, Arizona State vs. Colorado – Since the end of the 2014 season Todd Graham is now sitting on a combined record over the past THREE seasons of…
15 – 18
…and the now 4 – 4 Sun Devils better Damn find at least 3 more wins for their head coach or Todd Graham is going to be out of a job come December.
With these games left to be played…
Colorado At UCLA At Oregon State Arizona
….and having to win 3 of their last 4 games do you think beating Colorado is a MUST?
You bet your ass it is!
Kalani Sitake, BYU vs. Fresno State – BYU got their MUST WIN over Hapless San Jose State last week and now the 2 – 7 Cougars have games left against…
At Fresno State At UNLV UMass At Hawaii
….and if head coach Kalani Sitake has any plans on getting to a .500+ record in 2018 or even being the head coach at BYU in 2018 he better Damn have his team playing hard down the stretch in their last 4 games against teams that even an AVERAGE BYU Football team would have a decent chance of sweeping….the 2017 BYU team…might Damn lose all 4 games left on the docket!