“A man’s moral conscience is the curse he had to accept from the gods in order to gain from them the right to dream.”
“A mule will labor ten years willingly and patiently for you, for the privilege of kicking you once.”
“All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.”
“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”
“An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn’t know why they choose him and he’s usually too busy to wonder why.”
“Clocks slay time… time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.”
“Facts and truth really don’t have much to do with each other.”
“Given a choice between grief and nothing, I’d choose grief.”
“Hollywood is a place where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a ladder.”
“I believe that man will not merely endure. He will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance.”
“I have found that the greatest help in meeting any problem is to know where you yourself stand. That is, to have in words what you believe and are acting from.”
“I’m bad and I’m going to hell, and I don’t care. I’d rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.”
“I’m inclined to think that a military background wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.”
“Man performs and engenders so much more than he can or should have to bear. That’s how he finds that he can bear anything.”
“My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whisky.”
“The aim of every artist is to arrest motion, which is life, by artificial means and hold it fixed so that a hundred years later, when a stranger looks at it, it moves again since it is life.”
“The end of wisdom is to dream high enough to lose the dream in the seeking of it.”
“There is something about jumping a horse over a fence, something that makes you feel good. Perhaps it’s the risk, the gamble. In any event it’s a thing I need.”
“Tomorrow night is nothing but one long sleepless wrestle with yesterday’s omissions and regrets.”
‘We have to start teaching ourselves not to be afraid.”
“You should approach Joyce’s Ulysses as the illiterate Baptist preacher approaches the Old Testament: with faith.”
“Even a liar can be scared into telling the truth, same as an honest man can be tortured into telling a lie.”
“Be scared. You can’t help that. But don’t be afraid. Ain’t nothing in the woods going to hurt you unless you corner it, or it smells that you are afraid. A bear or a deer, too, has got to be scared of a coward the same as a brave man has got to be.”
“I decline to accept the end of man. It is easy enough to say that man is immortal because he will endure: that when the last ding-dong of doom has clanged and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will still be one more sound: that of his puny inexhaustible voice, still talking. I refuse to accept this. I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet’s, the writer’s, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet’s voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail.” Nobel Prize Speech, December 1950
“Mr. Khrushchev says that Communism, the police state, will bury the free ones. He is a smart gentleman, he knows that this is nonsense since freedom, man’s dim concept of and belief in the human spirit is the cause of all his troubles in his own country. But if he means that Communism will bury capitalism, he is correct. That funeral will occur about ten minutes after the police bury gambling. Because simple man, the human race, will bury both of them. That will be when we have expended the last grain, dram, and iota of our natural resources. But man himself will not be in that grave. The last sound on the worthless earth will be two human beings trying to launch a homemade spaceship and already quarreling about where they are going next.” Speech in New York, October 1959
“No one is without Christianity, if we agree on what we mean by that word. It is every individual’s individual code of behavior by means of which he makes himself a better human being than his nature wants to be, if he followed his nature only. Whatever its symbol — cross or crescent or whatever — that symbol is man’s reminder of his duty inside the human race. Its various allegories are the charts against which he measures himself and learns to know what he is. It cannot teach a man to be good as the textbook teaches him mathematics. It shows him how to discover himself, evolve for himself a moral codes and standard within his capacities and aspirations, by giving him a matchless example of suffering and sacrifice and the promise of hope.” Paris Review Interview, 1958
The two great men in my time were Mann and Joyce. You should approach Joyce’s Ulysses as the illiterate Baptist preacher approaches the Old Testament: with “faith.”
“Life is motion, and motion is concerned with what makes man move — which is ambition, power, pleasure. What time a man can devote to morality, he must take by force from the motion of which he is a part. He is compelled to make choices between good and evil sooner or later, because moral conscience demands that from him in order that he can live with himself tomorrow. His moral conscience is the curse he had to accept from the gods in order to gain from them the right to dream.”
“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
“Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.”
“The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.”
“But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?”
“Without culture, and the relative freedom it implies, society, even when perfect, is but a jungle. This is why any authentic creation is a gift to the future.”
“All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. Great works are often born on a street corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door.”
“Truth is mysterious, elusive, always to be conquered. Liberty is dangerous, as hard to live with as it is elating. We must march toward these two goals, painfully but resolutely, certain in advance of our failings on so long a road.”
“The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.”
“The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”
“Those who lack the courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.”
“Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.”
“No cause justifies the deaths of innocent people.”
“Basically, at the very bottom of life, which seduces us all, there is only absurdity, and more absurdity. And maybe that’s what gives us our joy for living, because the only thing that can defeat absurdity is lucidity.”
“For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.”
“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
“Peace is the only battle worth waging.”
“There are causes worth dying for, but none worth killing for.”
“I know that man is capable of great deeds. But if he isn’t capable of great emotion, well, he leaves me cold.”
“The need to be right — the sign of a vulgar mind.”
“Seeking what is true is not seeking what is desirable.”
“People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves.”
“I would rather live my life as if there is a god and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is.”
“Life can be magnificent and overwhelming — that is the whole tragedy. Without beauty, love, or danger it would almost be easy to live. ”
“At the heart of all beauty lies something inhuman.”
“The evil that is in the world almost always comes from ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.”
“Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.”
“There are crimes of passion and crimes of logic. The boundary between them is not clearly defined.”
“Where there is no hope, it is incumbent on us to invent it.”
“I rebel; therefore I exist.”
“Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present.”
“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
“Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time.”
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger — something better, pushing right back.”
“There is scarcely any passion without struggle.”
“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”
“But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.”
“Always go too far, because that’s where you’ll find the truth.”
“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.”
“The truth is that everyone is bored, and devotes himself to cultivating habits.”
“He who despairs of the human condition is a coward, but he who has hope for it is a fool.”
“The habit of despair is worse than despair itself.”
“But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?”
“My chief occupation, despite appearances, has always been love.”
“If absolute truth belongs to anyone in this world, it certainly does not belong to the man or party that claims to possess it.”
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.”
“Let him that would move the world first move himself.”
“It is not living that matters, but living rightly.”
“He is a man of courage who does not run away, but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.”
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
“He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.”
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
“Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.”
“Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.”
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.”
“If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”
“Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
“I shall never cease from the practice and teaching of philosophy, exhorting anyone whom I meet after my manner, and convincing him, saying: O my friend, why do you who are a citizen of the great and mighty and wise city of Athens, care so much about laying up the greatest amount of money and honor and reputation, and so little about wisdom and truth and the greatest improvement of the soul, which you never regard or heed at all? Are you not ashamed of this? And if the person with whom I an arguing says: Yes, but I do care: I do not depart or let him go at once; I interrogate and examine and cross-examine him, and if I think that he has no virtue, but only says that he has, I reproach him with overvaluing the greater, and undervaluing the less. …For this is the command of God, as I would have you know…”
“You will know that the divine is so great and of such a nature that it sees and hears everything at once, is present everywhere, and is concerned with everything.”
“I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.”
“Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.”
“Often when looking at a mass of things for sale, he would say to himself, ‘How many things I have no need of!””
“There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.”
“I would rather die having spoken in my manner, than speak in your manner and live. For neither in war nor yet in law ought any man use every way of escaping death. For often in battle there is no doubt that if a man will throw away his arms, and fall on his knees before his pursuers, he may escape death, if a man is willing to say or do anything. The difficulty, my friends, is not in avoiding death, but in avoiding unrighteousness; for that runs deeper than death.”
“A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard.”
“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
“I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut.”
“Happiness is working with Jack Lemmon.”
“I’d worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.”
“Now, what is it which makes a scene interesting? If you see a man coming through a doorway, it means nothing. If you see him coming through a window – that is at once interesting.”
“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.”
“Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.”
“The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that Hitler was a German and Beethoven an Austrian.”
“If there’s anything I hate more than not being taken seriously, it’s being taken too seriously.”
“My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie?”
“One’s too many, and a hundred’s not enough.”
“France is the country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper.”
“You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.”
“An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark – that is critical genius.”
“Don’t be too clever for an audience. Make it obvious. Make the subtleties obvious also.”
“We are on the track of something absolutely mediocre.”
“The best director is the one you don’t see.”
“They’ve tried to manufacture other Marilyn Monroes and they will undoubtedly keep trying. But it won’t work. She was an original.”
“A bad play folds and is forgotten, but in pictures we don’t bury our dead. When you think it’s out of your system, your daughter sees it on television and says, My father is an idiot.”
“Eighty percent of a picture is writing, the other twenty percent is the execution, such as having the camera on the right spot and being able to afford to have good actors in all parts.”
“The truth always reveals itself.”
“Love is the hardest thing in the world to write about. So simple. You’ve got to catch it through details, like the early morning sunlight hitting the gray tin of the rain spout in front of her house. The ringing of a telephone that sounds like Beethoven’s “Pastoral.” A letter scribbled on her office stationery that you carry around in your pocket because it smells of all the lilacs in Ohio.”
“I never overestimate the audience, nor do I underestimate them. I just have a very rational idea as to who we’re dealing with, and that we’re not making a picture for Harvard Law School, we’re making a picture for middle-class people, the people that you see on the subway, or the people that you see in a restaurant. Just normal people.”
“If you don’t like what you’re doing, it’s unlikely anyone else will either, so be sure you are happy with your own work first.”
“If you have to ask what jazz is, you’ll never know.”
“I never tried to prove nothing, just wanted to give a good show. My life has always been my music, it’s always come first, but the music ain’t worth nothing if you can’t lay it on the public. The main thing is to live for that audience, ’cause what you’re there for is to please the people.”
“My whole life, my whole soul, my whole spirit is to blow that horn…”
“We all do ‘do, re, mi,’ but you have got to find the other notes yourself.”
“There are some people that if they don’t know, you can’t tell them.”
“There is no such thing as ‘on the way out’ as long as you are still doing something interesting and good; you’re in the business because you’re breathing”
“All music is folk music, I ain’t never heard no horse sing a song”
“There is two kinds of music, the good, and the bad. I play the good kind.”
“He was the only musician who ever lived, who can’t be replaced by someone.” Bing Crosby on Louis Armstrong
“He was born poor, died rich, and never hurt anyone along the way.” Duke Ellington on Louis Armstrong
“If I don’t practice for a day, I know it. If I don’t practice for two days, the critics know it. And if I don’t practice for three days, the public knows it.”
“Some of you young folks been saying to me, “Hey Pops, what you mean ‘What a wonderful world’? How about all them wars all over the place? You call them wonderful? And how about hunger and pollution? That aint so wonderful either.” Well how about listening to old Pops for a minute. Seems to me, it aint the world that’s so bad but what we’re doin’ to it. And all I’m saying is, see, what a wonderful world it would be if only we’d give it a chance. Love baby, love. That’s the secret, yeah. If lots more of us loved each other, we’d solve lots more problems. And then this world would be better. That’s wha’ ol’ Pops keeps saying.” Spoken intro to “What a Wonderful World”
“But this is the great danger America faces. That we will cease to be one nation and become instead a collection of interest groups: city against suburb, region against region, individual against individual. Each seeking to satisfy private wants.”
“Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power.”
“Education remains the key to both economic and political empowerment.”
“For all of its uncertainty, we cannot flee the future.”
“I felt somehow for many years that George Washington and Alexander Hamilton just left me out by mistake. But through the process of amendment, interpretation, and court decision, I have finally been included in “We, the people.”
“I never intended to become a run-of-the-mill person.”
“If we promise as public officials, we must deliver. If we as public officials propose, we must produce.”
“If you’re going to play the game properly, you’d better know every rule.”
“Let each person do his or her part. If one citizen is unwilling to participate, all of us are going to suffer. For the American idea, though it is shared by all of us, is realized in each one of us.”
“Let us heed the voice of the people and recognize their common sense. If we do not, we not only blaspheme our political heritage, we ignore the common ties that bind all Americans.”
“More is required of public officials than slogans and handshakes and press releases. More is required. We must hold ourselves strictly accountable. We must provide the people with a vision of the future.”
“The citizens of America expect more. They deserve and they want more than a recital of problems.”
“There is no executive order; there is no law that can require the American people to form a national community. This we must do as individuals and if we do it as individuals, there is no President of the United States who can veto that decision.”
“There is no obstacle in the path of young people who are poor or members of minority groups that hard work and preparation cannot cure.”
“We are a people trying not only to solve the problems of the present: unemployment, inflation… but we are attempting on a larger scale to fulfill the promise of America.”
“We call ourselves public servants but I’ll tell you this: we as public servants must set an example for the rest of the nation. It is hypocritical for the public official to admonish and exhort the people to uphold the common good.”
“We must exchange the philosophy of excuse – what I am is beyond my control for the philosophy of responsibility.”
“What the people want is very simple – they want an America as good as its promise.”
“What we have to do is strike a balance between the idea that government should do everything and the idea, the belief, that government ought to do nothing. Strike a balance.”
“All speech, written or spoken, is a dead language, until it finds a willing and prepared hearer.”
“An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding.”
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”
“Everyone lives by selling something.”
“For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.”
“I never weary of great churches. It is my favorite kind of mountain scenery. Mankind was never so happily inspired as when it made a cathedral.”
“It is the mark of a good action that it appears inevitable in retrospect.”
“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.”
“Most of our pocket wisdom is conceived for the use of mediocre people, to discourage them from ambitious attempts, and generally console them in their mediocrity.”
“Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation and is thought necessary.”
“Talk is by far the most accessible of pleasures. It costs nothing in money, it is all profit, it completes our education, founds and fosters our friendships, and can be enjoyed at any age and in almost any state of health.”
“The world has no room for cowards.”
“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.”
“To become what we are capable of becoming is the only end in life.”
“We must accept life for what it actually is – a challenge to our quality without which we should never know of what stuff we are made, or grow to our full stature.”
“You cannot run away from weakness; you must some time fight it out or perish; and if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?”
“You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.”
“So long as we love we serve; so long as we are loved by others, I would almost say that we are indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend.”
“The Monterey Peninsula is the greatest meeting of land and sea in the world.”
“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”
“Deep experience is never peaceful.”
“Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself.”
“If I were to live my life over again, I would be an American. I would steep myself in America, I would know no other land.”
“It is art that makes life, makes interest, makes importance… and I know of no substitute whatever for the force and beauty of its process.”
“Live all you can — it’s a mistake not to. It doesn’t so much matter what you do in particular, so long as you have your life. If you haven’t had that, what have you had?… What one loses one loses; make no mistake about that…The right time is any time that one is still so lucky as to have…. Live!”
“To criticize is to appreciate, to appropriate, to take intellectual possession, to establish in fine a relation with the criticized thing and to make it one’s own.”
“We work n the dark – we do what we can – we give what we have. Our doubt is our passion and our passion is our task. The rest is the madness of art.”
“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one’s self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.”
“A tradition is kept alive only by something being added to it.”
“To take what there is, and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived — to dig deep into the actual and get something out of that — this doubtless is the right way to live.”
“I think I don’t regret a single ‘excess’ of my responsive youth – I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn’t embrace.”
“The right time is any time that one is still so lucky as to have.”
“Ideas are, in truth, force.”
“Experience is never limited, and it is never complete; it is an immense sensibility, a kind of huge spider-web of the finest silken threads suspended in the chamber of consciousness, and catching every air-borne particle in its tissue.”
“Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language”
“As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”
“Golf is not a game of good shots. It’s a game of bad shots.”
“I couldn’t wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again.”
“I learn something new about the game almost every time I step on the course.”
“I’m glad I brought this course, this monster, to its knees. “
“Placing the ball in the right position for the next shot is eighty percent of winning golf. “
“Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don’t you?”
“Shoot a lower score than everybody else.”
“The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight. “
“The ultimate judge of your swing is the flight of the ball.”
“I always outworked everybody. Work never bothered me like it bothers some people.”
“People have always been telling me what I can’t do. I guess I have wanted to show them. That’s been one of my driving forces all my life.”
“The secret is in the dirt” -Common answer Hogan gave when asked how he played so well.
“All I know is, I’ve seen Nicklaus watch Hogan practice. I’ve never seen Hogan watch Nicklaus practice.” -Tommy Bolt
“If you can’t outplay them, outwork them.”
“There’s no reason a man can’t birdie every hole.”
“There’s no such thing as a natural golf swing.”
“The more I practice, the luckier I get.”
“Ben Hogan is the most merciless of all the modern golfers.” -Gene Sarazen
While waiting on the 1st tee, Hogan walked up to the player he’d been paired with the day before. “I’m sorry I didn’t speak to you yesterday”, he said. “But just so you’re not surprised, I won’t be saying anything today either.”
“About all Ben ever said in a tournament was “Good luck” on the 1st tee, and “You’re away” after that.” -Sam Snead
“I always had an idea that some people didn’t like me…that the majority of the people didn’t like me. Then, after the accident, when I received all those wonderful telegrams, letters, and flowers from people, I realized I was wrong about the people. That’s when I changed. My frame of mind became different.”
And finally, one of the top Hogan quotes, although I can only offer it anecdotally. When Peter Jacobsen won Colonial he received the customary, rather loud, plaid winner’s jacket. As was the tradition he was wearing it at the champion’s dinner. In a loud voice he said to the group he was mingling with, “How long do I have to wear this &%^#$*@ jacket?” From close behind him, but out of direct sight, Mr. Hogan replied, “Until I say you can take it off son.”
“I have really enjoyed every minute I have spent in golf- above all, the many wonderful friends I have made. I have loved playing the game and practicing it. Whether my schedule for the following day called for a tournament round or merely a trip to the practice tee, the prospect that there was going to be golf in it made me feel privileged and extremely happy, and I couldn’t wait for the sun to come up the next morning so that I could get out on the course again”
“A man’s character always takes its hue, more or less, from the form and color of things about him.”
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
“Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have the exact measure of the injustice and wrong which will be imposed on them.”
“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.”
“I am a Republican, a black, dyed in the wool Republican, and I never intend to belong to any other party than the party of freedom and progress.”
“A battle lost or won is easily described, understood, and appreciated, but the moral growth of a great nation requires reflection, as well as observation, to appreciate it.”
“One and God make a majority.”
“I didn’t know I was a slave until I found out I couldn’t do the things I wanted.”
“The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose.”
“A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.”
“To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker.”
“The life of the nation is secure only while the nation is honest, truthful, and virtuous.”
“A little learning, indeed, may be a dangerous thing, but the want of learning is a calamity to any people.”
“The white man’s happiness cannot be purchased by the black man’s misery.”
“Without a struggle, there can be no progress.”
“It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.”
“Man’s greatness consists in his ability to do and the proper application of his powers to things needed to be done.”
“People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get.”
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what a people will submit to, and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress. Men may not get all they pay for in this world; but they must pay for all they get. If we ever get free from all the oppressions and wrongs heaped upon us, we must pay for their removal. We must do this by labor, by suffering, by sacrifice, and, if needs be, by our lives, and the lives of others.”
“No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck.”
“Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.”
“Whatever the future may have in store for us, one thing is certain — this new revolution in human thought will never go backward. When a great truth once gets abroad in the world, no power on earth can imprison it, or prescribe its limits, or suppress it. It is bound to go on till it becomes the thought of the world. Such a truth is woman’s right to equal liberty with man. She was born with it. It was hers before she comprehended it. It is inscribed upon all the powers and faculties of her soul, and no custom, law, or usage can ever destroy it. Now that it has got fairly fixed in the minds of the few, it is bound to become fixed in the minds of the many, and be supported at last by a great cloud of witnesses, which no man can number and no power can withstand.”
“Mr. Lincoln was not only a great President, but a great man — too great to be small in anything. In his company I was never in any way reminded of my humble origin, or of my unpopular color.”
“I look upon my departure from Colonel Lloyd’s plantation as one of the most interesting events of my life. It is possible, and even quite probable, that but for the mere circumstance of being removed from that plantation to Baltimore, I should have to-day, instead of being here seated by my own table, in the enjoyment of freedom and the happiness of home, writing this Narrative, been confined in the galling chains of slavery. Going to live at Baltimore laid the foundation, and opened the gateway, to all my subsequent prosperity. I have ever regarded it as the first plain manifestation of that kind providence which has ever since attended me, and marked my life with so many favors. I regarded the selection of myself as being somewhat remarkable. There were a number of slave children that might have been sent from the plantation to Baltimore. There were those younger, those older, and those of the same age. I was chosen from among them all, and was the first, last, and only choice.”
1. David Beaty, Kansas – After three seasons as the head coach of the Kansas football team David Beaty has records on the board of…
Overall: 3 – 33
Big 12: 1 – 26
…and if there is ANYONE on the Earth that can explain to us why Beaty is still the head coach of the Jayhawks…outside a few lunatics in Lawrence, Kansas that hired and No Damn Big Surprise had to fire Charlie Weis in the same position before Beaty was hired….we would love to hear from you so that we can refer you to the closest mental institution so your ass can get some help…and quick!
Yes…David Beaty has won 3 games in 3 seasons coaching at Kansas and those 3 wins were against…
2017 – SE Missouri State 2016 – Rhode Island 2016 – Texas….Oh Charlie Strong that was Pitiful Son!
Oh…maybe David Beaty was kept on for a FOURTH year at Kansas because of an Amazing Recruiting Class and yet as we check the latest…
#69 – Toledo #68 – Houston #66 – Tulane #64 – FIU #63 – Western Michigan #61 – Boise State #59 – Duke #58 – Iowa State #57 – Wake Forest #50 – Cincinnati
Do we need to go on? Didn’t think so!
Hey…Kansas can have any Damn coach they want to lead their football program but in the Real World where only Damn Morons hire Damn Idiots like Charlie Weis THREE years is plenty of Damn time to know or not if a football program is moving in the right direct and thus it’s No Damn Surprise that someone that hired Charlie Weis would keep David Beaty on when Beaty hasn’t done One Damn Thing to have earned the right to coach the Jayhawks for a FOURTH season!
A sidenote in this spot we do note that we have been told by someone we trust that more than one Very Damn Qualified Head Coach has reached out to the folks at Kansas to say that “X coach” would love to coach the Jayhawks and maybe we should start writing the names of those coaches to show just what kind of Damn Idiots are running Kansas Athletics and the University of Kansas right now!
2. Lovie Smith, Illinois – Lovie Smith took over an Illini football team two years ago that had won…
…the two previous seasons before Lovie’s arrival and in two years on the job Lovie has records on the board of:
Overall: 5 – 19
Big Ten: 2 – 16
For those slow on the uptake that’s a plus-50% decline in wins and thus we haven’t a Damn Clue why anyone at Illinois would think that firing longtime college head coach Bill Cubit to hire Lovie Smith who last coached in college over 20 years beyond some hack agent of Lovie’s convincing the AD at Illinois, Josh Whitman, that hiring Lovie would make sense when if anyone at Coaches Hot Seat had taken that call would have said:
“Please…tell me what qualifies Lovie Smith to be the head football coach at Illinois or any Power 5 Conference school?”
There is NO good answer to the above question especially when one considers that when hiring Lovie Smith you are not getting a coach that “fits” the college game like a Pete Carroll who is….
Actually Alive and Awake on the Sidelines During the Games
….while Lovie has around the intensity level of a Tom Landry who was a Helluva pro coach with the Cowboys but would have been a Damn Failure if he had ever tried to coach in the college game!
What does the future hold for Lovie Smith at Illinois?
Our opinion…Lovie Smith will be fired at Illinois..either after the 2018 season or the 2019 season…because we don’t think there’s a chance in Hell the Illini come close to win 6 games in either of the next two years and if you can’t win 6 games at Illinois then what exactly is the point of you being the head coach of the football team?
There is NO point is the answer to that question!
3. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – If anyone had told us FIVE years ago that Kliff Kingsbury could post records of…
Overall: 30 – 33
Big 12: 16 – 29
…at Texas Tech and still be the head coach after his FIFTH year on the job we would have never believed it but then we have never thought Texas Tech AD Kirby Hocutt…
Cared About or Gave A Damn About Winning
…and it’s also our opinion Hocutt willingness to tolerate the above records from Kingsbury points to our opinion being right and even worse the alumni, boosters and fans of Red Raider Football that also seem….
Do Not Care About or Give A Damn About Winning!
One thing we are Very Damn Thankful for here at Coaches Hot Seat:
Kirby Hocutt is alive today in America and was not around in the early 1940s when WINNING was very Damn important and LOSING was not tolerated because if LOSING had been tolerated there would be no country for us Americans to live in today!
Be Proud fans of Texas Tech Football…
You are Below Damn Average and have an Athletic Director that Celebrates and Rewards Below Damn Average!
Guns Up and Give that Hocutt Boy your hard-earned money and be Damn proud when you do it!
4. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – We saw enough of Luke Fickell as the interim head coach of Ohio State in 2011 after Jim Tressel got run out of town to lying to his bosses to know that Fickell was Damn Good at taking a team that should have won 10 games EASY and ended with a record of…
6 – 7
…costing the Buckeyes a shot at a National Title in 2012 under Urban Meyer when the team went undefeated after Ohio State AD Gene Smith and what must be a Helluva lot of stupid people in Columbus sent the Buckeyes to a meaningless bowl game…to know that Luke Fickell was not head coaching material!
No…we would NEVER had hired Luke Fickell to be the head coach at Cincinnati or ANY FBS school but then we actually watch football games here at Coaches Hot Seat and don’t believe Horseshit just because it is coming from a coach or an agent or someone else about Fickell or anyone else and what did Cincinnati get for hiring Luke Fickell as their coach?
Fickell took a team that should have EASY won 6+ games in 2017 and he posted a record of…
4 – 8
Our opinion…Luke Fickell is a nice guy… a solid guy…but he is not Head Coaching material no more than Kansas head coach David Beaty is head coaching material and the folks at Cincinnati like the folks at Kansas can either realize and understand that now or realize and understand it in the future but eventually….they will realize and understand it to be a FACT!
Our guess…Cincinnati has another losing season in 2018 under Fickell and Fickell will be fired because unlike Kansas which can tolerate losing seasons until the Earth ends the folks in Cincinnati don’t have that luxury and with that in mind Fickell better Damn get off his ass or he will be back in the assistant coaching ranks a year from today!
5. Kalani Sitake, BYU – Like Luke Fickell BYU head coach Kalani Sitake is another nice guy…a solid guy…but watching the BYU Cougars play several times in 2017 we cannot help but wonder…
Just what in the Hell is Kalani Sitake doing because his BYU football team looks like it is barely coached at times!
A 4 – 9 record in 2017 after a 9 – 4 record in 2016 certainly means Sitake has the ability to win games coaching the Cougars but he going to have to perform this coming season or he might very well find himself out of a job and when we mean perform anything less than 7 wins and we have to think the Kalani Sitake experiment will come to an end in Provo in early December.
6. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – There were a few Coaches Hot Seat members on hand when Jim Harbaugh was introduced as the Stanford head coach in December 2007 and we were able to spend enough time around Jim during his FOUR years on The Farm and overall we were impressed with Harbaugh and we were not surprised at all when he went on to be very successful at the San Francisco 49ers.
The above was our opinion before the 2017 season began and after watching Michigan in every game it played this past season what we are beginning to wonder is…
What exactly is wrong with Jim Harbaugh?
Does Jim have some kind of health issue?
If it’s not a health issue then…what exactly is wrong with Jim Harbaugh because the Jim Harbaugh we see on the Michigan sideline and the one we are hearing about from our contact in Ann Arbor is not the Jim Harbaugh we know nor does the Michigan football team now reflect the Harbaugh we knew at Stanford.
Beyond all of the above let’s take a hard look at just what Jim Harbaugh has accomplished at Michigan in THREE seasons:
Overall Record: 28 – 11 Big Ten: 18 – 8
Also in THREE seasons Jim Harbaugh + Michigan have played 22 FBS teams that finished the season with .500 or better records and Harbaugh’s record in those 22 games is…
10 – 12
Sorry….the above kind of record is not what the folks at Michigan are paying Jim Harbaugh Millions of Dollars a year and spending Many, Many Millions of Dollars for assistant coaches, support staff, facility upgrades and all manner of other things like flying the entire Damn team to Florida and Europe for spring practice!
So what’s wrong with Michigan Football assuming there isn’t something wrong with Jim Harbaugh health wise?
Well for starters the Michigan Offense is…
The Most Predictable Offense in College Football
…on ANY level of the college game and that is beyond Michigan also having…
Some of the Most Pitiful Quarterback Play
…we have EVER seen at a school like Michigan and it’s almost as if…
Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Offensive Coaches aren’t actually coaching the team in practice but are going out and getting drunk at a local Ann Arbor bar
….and maybe Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Offensive Coaches should go get drunk at a local Ann Arbor bar because what they did last season was a…
Total and Complete Joke!
We don’t know a whole lot of Michigan alumni but we do know one who could buy and sell Nick Saban in about 10 minutes and we asked him what would happen to Jim Harbaugh if he went 8 – 4 again in 2018 and his response was….
“Jim will be fired.”
When we told that same Michigan alum that Harbaugh was 10 – 12 against FBS teams with .500 or better records in the last 3 seasons he said…
“Maybe we should fire Jim right now!”
Memo to Jim Harbaugh: Get off your Damn Ass now Son or your head coaching career will be OVER…at least on the college level…a year from today!
7. Ed Orgeron, LSU – If you are going to fire Les Miles at LSU and in our opinion Miles was given way too much time to get things straightened out then you better Damn hire a coach who will do better than Les Miles and Coach O in his first full season as the head coach of the Tigers posted a record of…
9 – 4
…and in Les Miles’ 11 full seasons as the head coach of LSU he only lost 4 or more games…
….and if Ed Oregon loses 4 games again in 2018 he is going to one of the Hottest Seats in College Football and the Tigers fans are going to be IRATE especially after the moving around of coaches in the offensive coordinator position which was the same side of the football that Les Miles had so much trouble with and which in the end got Les Miles fired…and will get Coach O fired as well!
For what it’s worth our longtime LSU alum friend who lives in New Orleans and was deadly accurate in predicting Les Miles demise in Baton Rouge told us recently….
“If Ed doesn’t get things rolling in ’18 and Mike Norvell has another big season at Memphis I fully expect for some big alumni and boosters to demand that LSU hire Norvell and end the madness in Baton Rouge.”
4 or more losses by LSU in 2018…Hell…maybe even 3 losses…and Mike Norvell might be the head coach at LSU a year from today!
8. Major Applewhite, Houston – We haven’t a clue if Major Applewhite believes that he had to hire Kendall Briles and Randy Clements to get the Houston football program rolling again BUT we do know that if Applewhite doesn’t come very close to winning if not outright winning 10 games in 2018 the Major Applewhite experiment at Houston will be over a year from today and we have heard from a UH alum that he wouldn’t be surprised if the school went after Lane Kiffin in a BIG way which wouldn’t surprise us either since the folks at Houston…expect their football team to win a Helluva lot football games now!
Would we have hired Kendall Briles at FAU or Houston?
Not A Chance In Hell…but that’s just us!
9. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – We haven’t a clue what caused North Carolina football t0 fall from a 11 – 3 record in 2015 and 8 – 5 record in 2016 to a 3 – 9 record in 2017 but beyond the 3 wins when we got to see the Tar Heels play last season…
The Team Looked Like It Was Hardly Coached At All
….and that makes perfect sense since when one realizes those 3 wins were over…
Old Dominion Pitt Western Carolina
We don’t have a Damn Clue what happened to North Carolina football last year besides the Tar Heels giving up a Helluva lot of points finishing…
99th in Total Defense
…out of 129 FBS teams and either Fedora will get his Defense and Football Team straightened out and win 6+ games in 2018 or Fedora will have a Heluva lot of time on his hands come this time next year!
10. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – This isn’t Crazy Dana Holgorsen’s first trip to the Coaches Hot Seat Rodeo and after posting a 7 – 6 record in 2018 which has left Holgo’s records at West Virginia in 6 seasons in Big 12 at…
Overall: 43 – 34 Big 12: 27 – 27
…one has to think the folks in Great State of West Virginia are not going to tolerate the Mediocrity of averaging winning…
7.16 Games A Season
….so 2018 may indeed be Holgo’s Little Bighorn so keep an eye out on the horizon Holgo for campfires because you should see plenty of smoke Son!
I’m all for new faces shaking things up. I like it when people question conventional NFL wisdom. I don’t think enough people do it, and as a result I think things have a tendency to get a little redundant with the league from time to time. So if a new hotshot coach wants to come in from the college ranks and shake things up with a new defense or some funky new plays or even a new attitude, I’m generally all for it.
That is not, however, what Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Greg Schiano is up to with this thing where he had his players jump over the line and after New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning while Manning was taking a knee at the end of Sunday’s game. The Giants were justifiably upset about the maneuver, and Schiano’s excuse was weak and stupid. Per ESPNNewYork.com:
“I don’t know if that’s not something that’s not done in the National Football League, but what I do with our football team is we fight until they tell us ‘Game over,'” Schiano said. “There’s nothing dirty about it and there’s nothing illegal about it.
“We crowd the ball — it’s like a sneak defense and you try to knock it loose. Watch Rutgers, they would know if they watched us that’s what we did at the end of the game.”
Rutgers is, of course, where Schiano was coaching this time last year. And there are a few real problems with his rationale. First of all, you don’t see teams doing that stuff at the college level, and it’s for the same reason you don’t see it at the NFL level. It’s because it’s a real good way to get people hurt for no good reason. If you’re losing and out of timeouts and the other team has the ball with so little time left that they can kneel down and run out the clock, you’ve lost. It doesn’t prove anything to your players or anyone else if you’re the fake tough guy who refuses to accept that. All it does is put people at silly risk of injury at the end of 60 minutes’ worth of brutal, health-threatening collisions. You owe it to your own players to know when you’re beaten and back off. Asking them to make a useless leaping hit in that situation is putting them at risk the same way it’s putting the other team at risk. It’s irresponsible.”
Amen Greg Graziano and we repeat that Greg Schiano is a…
Pompous Arrogant Ass Jerk
We would not hire Greg Schiano to Shovel Shit
…and who also in our opinion is…
A Sorry Damn Excuse for a Human Being
Be Thankful fans of Tennessee Football that you got in the way and this Sorry Damn Bastard didn’t become part of YOUR football program which YOU OWN since after….
YOU folks pay ALL the Damn Bills
…in Knoxville and you have every Damn right to stand-up and DEMAND that these Damn Morons at the University of Tennessee end this Damn Stupidity before they totally destroy Tennessee Football!
1. David Beaty, Kansas – You really can’t make up what is going on with Kansas Football right now where the AD at KU Sheahon Zenger hired Charlie Weis in 2012 who then promptly posted records of…
Overall: 6 – 22
Big 12: 1 – 18
….who was then replaced by current head coach David Beaty who in three seasons has posted records of…
Overall: 3 – 33
Big 12: 1 – 26
….with the Jayhawks giving up…
…in 9 of its 12 football games in 2017 and…
….in 11 of its 11 games against FBS teams in 2017!
Now if the fans of Kansas Football don’t mind being…
The Laughingstock of College Football
…and to have a Damn Moron as your AD then more the power to you folks but please don’t tell us there is anyone working at the University of Kansas that oversees the Kansas Football program that gives a Damn about…
Winning, Excellence, Pride, Class…Hell…ANYTHING AT ALL!
Last week a Coaches Hot Seat member got a text from a football assistant coach at a Big 12 Conference school that said…
“Everyone Big 12 hoping KU keeps DB least 1 more year because it’s only sure win on sked right now if Rhule gets things going at Baylor”
…and on Sunday when it was announced by Kansas that David Beaty would be back for the 2018 season that same assistant coach sent that CHS member the following text!
Be proud fans of Kansas Football….Oh…be so Damn proud!
2. Lovie Smith, Illinois – In two years at Illinois Lovie Smith has now posted records of…
Overall: 5 – 19
Big Ten: 2 – 16
….and in 2017 posting a 2 – 10 record the Illini beat…
Ball State Western Kentucky
Hell…not only did Illinois go 0 – 9 in Big Ten Conference play in 2017 on October 14 they lost to now 4 – 8 Rutgers….at Home…by the score of 35 – 24!
Please…is there someone….anyone….in North America that can tell us why Lovie Smith is the head coach of the Illinois Football program?
Didn’t think so!
3. David Bailiff, Rice – Posting a record of 1 – 11 in 2017 and sitting on records of…
Overall: 57 – 80
CUSA: 40 – 48
…..in 11 seasons at Rice the end must be near for head coach David Bailiff which would open up a Helluva job for some coach that could bring some energy to Houston and win some football games!
4. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – We are not quite sure what it takes to get your ass fired at Texas Tech but if these records won’t do it…
Overall: 30 – 32
Big 12: 16 – 30
….after five years on the job then one would think there are a Helluva lot of…
Below Average As Hell Folks
…working Lubbock at Texas Tech University right now!
While Texas Tech AD Kirby Hocutt is spending a lot of time in Dallas working on the College Football Playoff Committee which tomorrow could be replaced by two monkeys, a house cat, a parakeet and a Damn Moron and do just a good job as the committee members we cannot help but wonder what in the Hell is Hocutt looking at in evaluating the Texas Tech head football coach Kliff Kingsbury who is averaging…
3.2 wins in conference play
…a season playing 9 conference games a year!
Clearly there is some kind of Damn Moron supplement in the water that ADs in the Big 12 Conference are drinking or Big 12 university presidents are just hiring Damn Morons in AD positions!
5. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – On Saturday the Cincinnati Bearcats eked out a…
22 – 21
…win over a 3 – 9 UConn football team which leaves Cincinnati with a 4 – 8 record in Luck Fickell’s first year on the job and is there anyone on Earth that thinks Fickell will win 6+ games in Year 2 coaching the Bearcats?
Oh…there is someone….did you see that last Saturday Cincinnati got beat 48 – 20 by an East Carolina team that Memphis just beat by the score of 77 – 13?
We don’t believe in allowing a mistake to fester and if the folks at Cincinnati had a Damn Clue they would fire Luck Fickell today but they don’t have a Damn Clue so expect the Bearcats to have another losing season in 2018 and in 2019 as well if Fickell makes it to 2019 as the Cincinnati head coach!
6. Kalani Sitake, BYU – On Saturday night BYU got a win over a hapless Hawaii team by the score of 30 – 20 which leaves the Cougars record in 2017 at 4 – 9 and head coach Kalani Sitake’s record in two seasons on the job at…
13 – 13
….and Sitake took over a BYU football program that had won 8+ games in 9 of the last 10 seasons under Bronco Mendenhall and the other season the Cougars won 7 games!
We don’t have a Damn Clue why BYU only won 4 games in 2017 besides that the Cougars offense was nothing short of a Damn Disaster, but we do know that Kalani Sitake better fix the mess he has created in Provo and fix it in a Helluva hurry or his head coaching career will be over a year from today!
7. Brad Lambert, Charlotte – Charlotte is a very young FBS football program but in five seasons as the head coach at Charlotte on both the FCS and FBS levels head coach Brad Lambert is sitting on records of…
Overall: 17 – 41
CUSA: 4 – 20
…and if you can keep your job with those kind of records then there’ s hope for all the Damn Morons out there that now can see that they might indeed be able to make something of themselves at places like Charlotte, Kansas and Texas Tech so hang in there Damn Morons…hang the Hell in there!
8. Matt Rhule, Baylor – It was reported that Matt Rhule saw the Baylor job as some kind of “mission” for him in moving over from Temple and in Rhule’s first year at Baylor on his “mission” he took over a Bears team that won…
…in 2016 and Rhule just posted a record of…
1 – 11
…coaching the Bears so we have this obvious question for Matt:
How’s that “mission” working out for you Son?
The best thing the folks at Baylor can say today is…
Thank God and the Pillsbury Dough Boy for Kansas!
9. Chris Ash, Rutgers – In two seasons as the Rutgers head coach Chris Ash has posted records of..
Overall: 6 – 18
Big Ten: 3 – 15
…and we cannot help but wonder how long Ash can go posting these kinds of records and then we realize this is Rutgers…now playing in the Big Ten and not the Big East…and the expectations at Rutgers….
Not Real Damn High
…so the losing could go on for awhile here now….it could go on for a Damn long time before Ash gets run!
10. Brent Brennan, San Jose State – Congrats to San Jose State head coach Brent Brennan and his football team winning their FIRST football game against a FBS team on Saturday against Wyoming which has got to be Very Damn Embarrassing for the Cowboys and head coach Craig Bohl because you just got beat by a 2 – 11 team cowpokes and that is…
Pretty, Pretty Damn Embarrassing!
Can Brent Brennan win in 2018 more than the 2 games that his football team won in 2017?
We haven’t a Damn clue and don’t really care for that matter!
Over the past few years during the Jim Mora-era as the head coach of the football program a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members have had the opportunity to be in the UCLA Athletics Complex a few times and every time we left the place we got the feeling that working for Jim Mora…
Wasn’t the most enjoyable thing in the world
…and that Mora’s management style probably hurt Mora as much as anything at UCLA…in our humble opinion.
Overall, Jim Mora did a credible job as the head coach at UCLA in 6 seasons on the job posting records of…
Overall: 46 – 30
Pac-12: 28 – 26
Record Against USC: 3 – 3
….but in the end the general downtrend of the Bruins in the last couple of years led to Mora’s firing along with little hope for a move back up for UCLA Football under Mora in 2018 and future years.
We haven’t a clue if UCLA will be able to hire Chip Kelly to coach the Bruins, but it would be fascinating as Hell to see Kelly’s offense with the kind of talent that even average recruiting can get to Westwood, and if Kelly does end up at UCLA it will also be fascinating as Hell to see if college defensive coordinators have figured out what Kelly is doing which Stanford showed on multiple occasions can be stopped with the right approach and schemes on both sides of the ball.
Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!
Thank You Mr. Cash!
1. Mike Riley, Nebraska – With one game at home against Iowa in the strange odyssey of Mike Riley at Nebraska left after almost three full seasons on the job Riley’s records now stand at….
Overall: 19 – 18
Big Ten: 12 – 13
…which works out to winning percentages of…
Big Ten: .480
….and Riley’s winning percentages in 14 seasons coaching at Oregon State were…
….which are numbers surprising to no one it must be….except now former Nebraska AD Shawn Eichorst…who if EVER allowed to hire a head football coach on ANY level of football in America again will mean that a Seriously Mentally Ill person has hired a Damn Moron to hire that head football coach!
No…Nebraska is no longer the Nebraska of the 1990s under Tom Osborne BUT Nebraska is a school where we fully expect the head coach playing 13 to 14 games a year to win…
9.5+ Games A Season
….and if the Huskers beat Iowa on Saturday Riley will have averaged winning…
6.67 Games A Season
….and considering that the last coach at Nebraska (Bo Pelini) averaged winning…
9.42 Games A Season
….meaning Riley took over a Pretty Damn Good Football Program at Nebraska there is the clear reason why Mike Riley is less than a week away from being fired as the head coach of the Huskers.
….which even if the Hogs beat Mizzou at home next Saturday…not likely…Bielema would have averaged winning…
6 Games Per Season
…and Bobby Petrino in 4 seasons coaching at Arkansas averaged winning…
8.5 Games Per Season
…which happens to be how many games a head coach at Arkansas should win…
8.5 Games Per Season
It’s our opinion that Bret Bielema made a lot of mistakes at Arkansas that were mostly made behind the scenes having to do with recruiting, roster management, personnel decisions, coaching hires, etc. that we could elaborate on in this spot but they are mainly decisions that were made because Bielema fundamentally misunderstood what the SEC Conference is actually all about and it’s NOT…
….but rather recruiting…
High-Level Skill Athletes
…which Bielema was NEVER able to recruit to Arkansas in any kind of numbers and that showed up on the field in SPADES which led to Bielema averaging…
6 Wins A Season
…if the Hogs beat Mizzou on Saturday and if they don’t Bielema will have won an average of….
5.8 Games A Season
….which is very simply a Total Damn Disaster at Arkansas!
3. David Beaty, Kansas – On Saturday Oklahoma blasted Kansas by the score of 41 – 3 in Kansas head coach David Beaty’s 35 th game at KU which now leaves Beaty’s records at Kansas…
Overall: 3 – 32
Big 12: 1 – 25
…with a game at Oklahoma State left on the schedule and anyone on Earth that thinks Kansas Football will be better in Beaty’s FOURTH year on the job in 2018 that is a person that needs to…
Check Into The Closest Mental Institution
….wherever they are on the Earth!
This past week an assistant coach in the Big 12 texted a member of Coaches Hot Seat the following:
“Everyone Big 12 hoping KU keeps DB least 1 more year because it’s only sure win on sked right now if Rhule gets things going at Baylor”
Yes…there are some Damn Morons in Lawrence, Kansas that should be fired tonight!
4. Lovie Smith, Illinois – On Saturday Ohio State beat Illinois by the score of 52 – 14 in Lovie Smith’s 23 rd game as the head coach of the Illini which leaves Lovie’s records in two seasons on the job at…
Overall: 5 – 18
Big Ten: 2 – 15
…and we ask again:
Is there someone…anyone…that can tell us why Lovie Smith is the head coach of the Illinois Football team?
4. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – With Texas Tech’s loss to TCU at home on Saturday that leaves only Texas on the schedule for the 5 – 6 Red Raiders and Kingsbury’s records in FIVE seasons at the school….
Overall: 29 – 32
Big 12: 15 – 30
….and save Tech beating Texas on the road in Austin next Saturday we would guess that TCU assistant coach Sonny Dykes will be the head coach of the Red Raiders sometime in early December…not that we know anything…but just a guess!
6. David Bailiff, Rice – On Saturday Rice lost to Old Dominion which dropped the Owls record to 1 – 10 in 2017 and head coach David Bailiff’s records in 11 seasons at Rice to…
Overall: 57 – 79
CUSA: 40 – 47
…and we fully expect the Rice head coaching job to come open soon which in our opinion is a pretty Damn good job that we would want because we know that…
1. Houston is a great town 2. There’s plenty of high school football talent in south Texas 3. We could prove our chops making Rice Football into a winner
7. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – Even with the win over Ole Miss on Saturday it’s our opinion that Texas A&M is going to change head coaches in a week or so because of the following…
If A&M loses on the road to LSU next Saturday that will mean that Kevin Sumlin will have lost 5 games in each of the past 4 seasons at Texas A&M which is a place where a coach has EVERYTHING and should be able by his SIXTH season on the job compete with Alabama for the SEC West Division Title and come on now….
The Aggies are not in the same Universe with Alabama after SIX seasons of Kevin Sumlin coaching A&M!
What will be Damn interesting is who Texas A&M will hire to follow Sumlin who in our opinion if he is to be considered successful will win an average of…
9.5 Games A Year
…with Sumlin averaging 8.5 Wins which let’s face it folks…
That’s Just Not Good Enough for Texas A&M….PERIOD!
8. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – We are not quite sure what the folks at Cincinnati saw in Luke Fickell who as the Interim Head Coach at Ohio State in 2011 posted a record of…
6 – 7
…with a team that had enough talent to win the Big Ten and National Title but we said last year if the folks at Cincinnati think Luke Fickell is the man to lead their program….OK…let’s see what the boy can do.
OK…Luke Fickell in his first year on the job coaching the Bearcats and is now sitting on a record of 3 – 8 after his team got BLASTED by a 2 win East Carolina team on Saturday by the score of…
48 – 20
….and on top of what has turned into nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster for Cincinnati Football we learned via USA Today a few weeks ago that Fickell has a….wait for it….
….for doing what exactly before he became the head coach at Cincinnati last year we haven’t a Damn Clue but then we all know that any random coaches agent can roll most any Damn athletic director in America now and clearly the Cincinnati AD got his ass rolled by Fickell’s!
Cincinnati hosts a 3 wins UConn team next Saturday and in our opinion if Fickell can’t win this game…
His Ass Should Be Fired on Saturday Night
….$9.1 Million Dollar Buyout or not because there would be no Damn point to keep him employed as the head coach of the Bearcats if he can’t beat this PITIFUL UConn team at home…in our humble opinion!
9. Kalani Sitake, BYU – For the love of Brigham Young…meaning the original Brigham Young who reportedly had 55 wives which is a stunning number in every way we can imagine because just how in the Hell can one man handle 55 women telling him on constant basis “they need this” or “they need that” which our wives are constantly telling us which must have led to some Helluva BIG shopping trips for Ole Brig as we like to call him here at Coaches Hot Seat when around our Mormon friends just to dig them a little!
Oh..getting back to the for the love of Brigham Young how in the Hell exactly can BYU lose to UMass at home by the score of…
16 – 10
…in head coach Kalani Sitake’s 25 th game at the school?
That loss to UMass now leaves Sitake’s record at BYU in 2 seasons at…
Overall: 12 – 13
…and the 3 – 9 Cougars still have to play at Hawaii next Saturday!
We are not sure exactly what is going on at BYU but whatever the Hell it is…it’s not good…it’s just no Damn good….we sure the Hell know that!
10. Todd Graham, Arizona State – With the win on Saturday over Oregon State Todd Graham’s Sun Devils are now 6 – 5 on the season with only the Territorial Cup game at home against Arizona left on the schedule that we were told on Sunday…
Todd Graham MUST WIN to keep his job at Arizona State
In 6 seasons at Arizona State Todd Graham now how records on the board of…
Overall: 45 – 31
Pac-12: 30 – 23
…which if you give ASU the win over Arizona adds up to Graham averaging…
7.67 Wins Per Season
…and we have Arizona State as a…
8.5 Wins Per Season
….school to keep your rear-end off the Hot Seat.
We guess there’s an outside chance that Todd Graham could keep his job at ASU even he lost to Arizona but something we learned a long time ago is that when things get marginal in a job a person in the position of hiring + firing someone will almost always fire someone…
They Don’t Like
…and work like Hell to…
Keep Someone They Do Like
…which in the end might just seal the fate for Todd Graham in Tempe!
16 Head Coaches Facing MUST WIN Games In Week 12 Whose Teams + Coaches Need To Take It To The Limit! – Thanks Randy!
Bill Snyder, Kansas State vs. Oklahoma State – There are few things as Totally Damn Worthless as people holding prominent positions trying to get their kids into those positions as they head for the doors and that is exactly what Bill Snyder is trying to do at Kansas State with his son Sean:
Clearly, Bill Snyder believes that his son Sean doesn’t have the ability or chops to get a Power 5 Conference Head Coaching Job on his own so that’s why Daddy is trying to strong-arm Kansas State into hiring his Boy which if you are like us makes Bill Snyder…
Worthless As Hell
…and his Sean even worse because if Sean had actually been raised by a…
REAL Man and REAL American
…Sean would tell his Daddy to butt the Hell out of his coaching career because Sean wouldn’t want his Daddy getting him the Kansas State job but would rather if Sean was a..
REAL Man and REAL American
…he would earn and get the job himself but clearly the Snyders are…
NOT REAL Men nor REAL Americans
…and with that in mind every American worth a Damn should hope like Hell that Worthless as Hell Bill Snyder loses his last two games against…
At Oklahoma State Iowa State
….so the Wildcats finish at 5 – 7 and Billy “My son Sean is such a Candy Ass Pussy I have to get the Kansas State Job for Him” Snyder will go out the…
Total Damn Loser
….that we all know he is now!
BEAT the Living Hell out of Bill and Sean Snyder Oklahoma State and if you can hang Freaking 100….hang Freaking 100 on ‘em Mike Gundy!
What a Total Embarrassment that Bill Snyder is to Kansas State, College Football and America for that matter!
If you think we are HOT about Bill Snyder trying to pass down the Kansas State Football Program to his son Sean like KSU Football is some kind of medieval kingdom that can be passed down to someone because of their last name and they won the sperm lottery then you would be RIGHT but then any Real America would vehemently object to this Total Horseshit as well and if you think what Bill Snyder is doing is right…
You are not a REAL American…PERIOD!
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan vs. Wisconsin– Since Penn State destroyed Michigan in Week 8 the Wolverines offense has scored….
35 33 35
…points against its last three opponents and clearly Blue is going to need 35+ points on Saturday to beat Wisconsin in Madison and we are fascinated to see how far this Michigan team has come this year and if Harbaugh can actually beat a football team with a winning record in 2017!
Our recommendation to Jim Harbaugh: Don’t lose to Wisconsin AND Ohio State to end the 2017 season Jimmy or your ass is going right on the Hot Seat heading into 2018!
David Beaty, Kansas vs. Oklahoma – The 1 – 9 Kansas Jayhawks head coach David Beaty may have the support of the KU Chancellor but in the Real World which clearly doesn’t include Lawrence, Kansas when you have posted these kind of records in THREE year on the job…
Overall: 3 – 31
Big 12: 1 – 24
…your ass gets fired but then we are talking about the University of Kansas here where…
We are no Damn where near Below Damn Average in Football and we are Damn proud of it!
…to finish the 2017 so David Beaty you got…
1 – 11
…in 2017 and…
3 – 33
…in 3 years on the job Son?
You are about to Son!
Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Navy – Oh this is very simple…if Notre Dame happened to lose to Navy on Saturday after getting destroyed by Miami last Saturday Brian Kelly’s ass would be right back on the Hot Seat with a game still left against Stanford on The Farm next week and if Kelly lost to both Navy and Stanford and finished at 8 – 4 on the season in our opinion Kelly would be fired shortly after the Stanford game on November 25 th!
Don’t lose to Navy Brian Kelly!
Lovie Smith, Illinois vs. Ohio State – We asked the 178 Coaches Hot Seat members this week if anyone thought…
Lovie Smith would ever field a .500 or better football team at Illinois
…and as of Friday morning 154 Coaches Hot Seat members have responded and the results were…
154 – No 0 – Yes
This week the 2 – 8 Illini who have beaten Ball State and Western Kentucky this season and are 0 – 7 in Big Ten play face Ohio State and then finish with Northwestern which looks like two more losses to us which would leave Smith’s record after 2 years at Illinois at….
Overall: 5 – 19
Big Ten: 2 – 16
Please….someone…anyone…why the Hell is Lovie Smith the head football coach at Illinois?
There are just so many Damn Morons in the world in important positions in collegiate athletics one has to wonder…
How in the Hell did they get into these jobs?
Mike Riley, Nebraska vs. Penn State– The Mike Riley era is OVER at Nebraska so we don’t expect much out of the Huskers this week against a Penn State team that could hang almost any number they wanted on the Blackshirts defense so this isn’t so much a MUST WIN Game for Mike Riley and Nebraska as it is…
Just Don’t Totally Embarrass the State of Nebraska
…please now Mike Riley!
Jim Mora, UCLA vs. USC – Jim Mora is moving very close to the “Mendoza Line” with his Pac-12 Conference record now sitting at…
28 – 25
…with games left against USC this week and California next week which could both easily be losses but since we are talking about UCLA here where your Sorry Damn Ass can go on a retail shoplifting spree and you can remain on the Bruins Basketball Team why should we expect Damn anything out of UCLA Football?
UCLA = Where we allow our student athletes to go on shoplifting sprees at retail stores and stay on athletic teams!
Oh UCLA…be so Damn Proud!
Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech vs. TCU – Kliff Kingsbury is sitting on some very Damn average records as the head football coach at Texas Tech…
Overall: 29 – 31
Big 12: 15 – 29
….and we cannot imagine that Kingsbury will be the head coach at Tech in 2018 if the 5 – 5 Red Raiders don’t win at least one of their last two games against…
TCU At Texas
….and we have to think that beating TCU at home in Lubbock by out-scoring the Horned Frogs will be a Helluva lot easier than beating Texas in Austin next Friday when the Longhorns will probably need a win also to get to 6 wins on the year!
You better Damn beat TCU on Saturday Son!
Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. Mississippi State – To really understand what a Total Disaster that Bret Bielema has been for Arkansas Football over the past FIVE seasons posting records of…
Overall: 29 – 32
SEC: 11 – 27
….one only has to look at how many games the other 13 SEC schools had won in the previous 5 years before 2013, from 2008 – 2012, to see how good the Arkansas football program was when Bielema took over:
Games Won Previous 5 Seasons by SEC Teams – 2008 – 2012
As anyone can clearly see above Arkansas was tied with Auburn for 38 wins between 2008 and 2012 before Bret Bielema arrived in Fayetteville and that includes the 4 win Total Disaster Season under John L. Smith in 2012 at Arkansas after Bobby Petrino dalliance with the blonde on the motorcycle so when Bielema arrived in town to coach the Razorbacks he was taking on a pretty good Arkansas Football Program and in the last 5 seasons Bielema has won…
29 Football Games
….with games still left at home against Mississippi State and Missouri which from where we sit could be “boat race” games with Arkansas getting “boat raced” right out of its home stadium in Bielema’s last two games as the Arkansas head coach!
Yes..Mississippi State is a MUST WIN Game for Bret Bielema and Arkansas!
Matt Rhule, Baylor vs. Iowa State– Matt Rhule is sitting on a record of 1 – 9 record in his first year at Baylor and still has to play games against…
Iowa State At TCU
…which looks like a 1 – 11 record to us and one has to wonder just why in the Hell Rhule was hired if he is going to win…
ONE Football Game
….with a Baylor team that won…
47 Football Games
…in the last 5 seasons because there is still plenty of Damn talent in Waco!
Yes…Iowa State is a MUST WIN Game for Matt Rhule and Baylor!
Kalani Sitake, BYU vs. UMass – In 2017 BYU has 3 wins and those 3 wins are over…
Portland State San Jose State UNLV
…and BYU has games left against 2 teams with losing records….
UMass At Hawaii
…and if Kalani Sitake’s Cougars can’t win these last 2 games then why in the Hell is Sitake the head coach at BYU?
There is No Damn Good Answer to that question!
Todd Graham, Arizona State vs. Oregon State– At the beginning of the 2017 college football season it was thought by us here at Coaches Hot Seat that Arizona State head coach Todd Graham needed at least…
8 wins in 2017
…to return to coach the Sun Devils next year and now in the middle of November it’s our opinion that if ASU finished with…
7 Wins in 2017
…that Todd Graham could hang onto his job and now at 5 – 5 Todd Graham better Damn win his last two games against…
At Oregon State Arizona
….and if Graham can’t beat Oregon State with an interim head coach then really now…
What the Hell’s the point of Todd Graham being the head coach at Arizona State?
Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M vs. Ole Miss – The word on the street in south Texas is that the decision on Kevin Sumlin has already been made by the Aggies making decisions in and out of College Station…meaning Sumlin is GONE….and with that in mind A&M’s Week 12 game against Ole Miss doesn’t really mean that much for the 6 – 4 Aggies but then Sumlin doesn’t want to go out losing games to…
At Ole Miss At LSU
NO….and once the season is over and Kevin Sumlin is sent packing it is going to be fascinating to see how A&M hires in this spot….Damn fascinating!
Steve Addazio, Boston College vs. UConn – The 5 – 5 Boston College Eagles and their head coach Steve Addazio REALLY need to win their last two games against…
UConn At Syracuse
….because anything less than 6 wins in 2017 and we believe Steve Addazio is DONE at BC and thus beating UConn is really a MUST WIN Game because you sure the Hell don’t want to go to Syracuse and try and win a game to hang onto your Damn job!
Barry Odom, Missouri vs. Vanderbilt –Missouri is now 5 – 5 on the year after wins over…
Idaho UConn Florida Tennessee
…which before the season looked like a 2 – 2 series of games at best but with Florida and Tennessee football programs totally imploding Barry Odom has a chance to get to 6 wins in 2017 with games left against…
At Vanderbilt At Arkansas
….and thus beating Vandy on Saturday is CRITICAL because Bret Bielema and the Hogs are going to need to win that last game of the season also and no doubt coaches across the SEC will be hoping that Bielema will find a way to hang onto his job so that Hogs will stay in the toilet at least into 2018 and beyond!
Don’t lose to Vandy Barry Odom!
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Missouri – After getting Vandy to a bowl game in 2016 head coach Derek Mason really can’t afford the 4 – 6 Commodores to not win 6+ games in 2017 and with these games left on the schedule…
Missouri At Tennessee
…if you don’t beat Mizzou on Saturday the Tennessee game doesn’t really mean that much but then we remember that we are living in…
Candy Ass America
…today where even 5 – 7 teams are going to bowl games but what about this…
Maybe Vandy winning 6 games in 2017 and EARNING right to go to a bowl game Derek Mason!
“Butch Jones was an abusive, vindictive, immoral, tyrannical dictator during his time at Tennessee. He cared only for Butch Jones and would destroy anyone in his path who challenged him. Sad that his players and staffers ever had to put up with such a small minded and hateful man.”
…and although we cannot verify the above with a first-hand account we have gotten enough opinions from people that have followed the Tennessee Football program for years that have told us similar things to believe the person behind the above tweet believes it to be true and in our opinion we believe it to be true also.
We could write a lot in this spot about what we have heard about Butch Jones from former players and coaches that played or worked with Jones in this spot, but why waste the time since what got Jones eventually fired at Tennessee is something that Butch Jones probably hasn’t….probably never will…come to grips with and in the end Jones Win/Loss record was driven by Butch’s unforced errors and mistakes off the field that collectively did tremendous damage to the Tennessee football program both on and off the field.
All we can say to Tennessee AD John Currie is that he better Damn get this new head coaching hire right because a mistake here Son and you will be out of collegiate athletics on the FBS level within three years!
It’s just our humble opinion but Tennessee should be able to hire a Head Football Coach who is a Helluva Coach and a Helluva Human Being…..Hell….the fans of Tennessee Football DESERVE that and if the Vols fall short of that mark we are going be about as disappointed as we were years ago when the Vols hired Lane Kiffin which we said was going to be a Damn Disaster and in the end launched the Damn Disaster Wagon Train to Hell the Tennessee Football program is still on right now!
1. Mike Riley, Nebraska – With Nebraska’s 54 – 21 loss to a 5 – 5 Minnesota team on Saturday we knew already that the Mike Riley three year era in Lincoln was over but for those 3 Damn Morons that didn’t know it was over…
The Mike Riley Era Is Over at Nebraska!
Mike Riley’s records at Nebraska now stand at…
Overall: 19 – 17
Big Ten: 12 – 12
…..and to say that the Riley hiring at Nebraska was one of the most inexplicable hirings in our 40+ years of watching college football here at Coaches Hot Seat would be a MASSIVE understatement which brings us to a much-discussed subject at Coaches Hot Seat:
Hiring the RIGHT Head Football Coach at “X” School
It’s self-evident to anyone with a working brain after firing Bo Pelini who averaged winning…
9.43 Wins Per Year
…coaching at Nebraska that Mike Riley is not going to be on a Potential Head Coaches List to replace Pelini if that list has 100 names on it which makes us wonder…
How could Nebraska have hired Mike Riley? How could Tennessee have hired Derek Dooley? How could Kansas have hired Charlie Weis and David Beaty? How could Alabama have hired Mike Price? How could Notre Dame have hired Charlie Weis?
We could go on for awhile here because we have a list of dozens of Inexplicable College Football Head Coaching Hires since the 1970s which brings us to what should be a Fail-Safe procedure before an AD at any school hires a new head football coach:
Talk to Football People before you make that hire and make sure those are Football People that are up on today’s game of college football because if they are they KNOW whether a coach can “really coach” or not and most importantly if he can get MORE out of players and a team than what most coaches can get because if he can then he can “really coach!” An AD doesn’t want to hire a coach that got “what was expected” out a football team and program but rather an AD should look to hire a coach that consistently has his teams performing at HIGHER levels than the talent-level he has on hand to coach. That may seem obvious, but college football coaches get hired every year that are only Average or Slightly Better Than Average relative to what they have at their disposal to coach so look for someone Good To Great at least ADs!
The best mental exercise for any AD to use when considering hiring “X” coach it to imagine in your mind’s eye what the coaches at your major rivals will say the moment they hear the name of the coach you are considering. Example:
Tennessee AD John Currie should think when hiring the next head of the Vols what will be Nick Saban’s IMMEDIATE reaction upon hearing who the next Tennessee head coach is going to be…if Saban says in your mind’s eye anything but…
“Damn! Well…that means the Tennessee game will be competitive again!”
….move on to another coach until you get the right reaction from Saban!
As for Mike Riley we will always wish Coach Riley the best and we certainly hope he can go out with a win in one of his last two games…
At Penn State Iowa
Give ‘Em Hell Mike Riley!
2. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – 5 years ago both Butch Jones and Bret Bielema were hired at Tennessee and Arkansas respectfully and with Jones now sent packing its worth looking at both of their records besides each other, but first one must understand that Bielema took over a Helluva Lot better football program than Jones took over at Tennessee which was a Total Disaster after Kiffin and Dooley with Bielema taking over an Arkansas team loaded with talent that under Bobby Petrino was one of the top teams in the SEC!
Butch Jones: 2013 – 2017
Overall: 34 – 27
SEC: 14 – 24
Bret Bielema: 2013 – 2017
Overall: 29 – 32
SEC: 11 – 27
Translation: Butch Jones was Borderline Disaster at Tennessee primarily driven by Butch’s own unforced errors and Bret Bielema has been nothing short of…
Complete Freaking Disaster
…after taking over a sold Hogs program at Arkansas and the Hogs at 4 – 6 on the season still have to play…
Mississippi State Missouri
We are going to let everyone on in a little secret about Hiring and Firing people:
99 times out of 100 the person hiring someone knows within 90 days whether they made a good hire or not.
Yes….one hears all the time that a coach needs several years to “get his kids in the program” but the reality is that Good forget about Great Coaches can immediately impact a football program and the things that a head coach does in his first 90 days often tells the tale on whether that coach will be successful or not and whether the Athletic Director that hired that coach admits it or not…He/She knows very soon after the hire whether it was the right hire or not.
We say the above because our Good Arkansas Buddy in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who has been going to Razorbacks football games for 40+ years told us a couple of months into Bielema’s tenure at Arkansas….
“It’s just not going to work with Bielema. It may take a couple of years or five years but in the end it’s just not going to work out for Bret at Arkansas.”
Our recommendation to the Good Folks at the University of Arkansas:
Send Bret Bielema packing in a few weeks and hire Memphis head coach Mike Norvell to coach the Razorbacks!
3. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – An amazing number to look at when considering Kevin Sumlin’s career as the head coach at Texas A&M is that in his SIXTH year at the school that has EVERYTHING a head coach would need to win a Helluva lot of football games is that the Aggies are…
6 – 4
….with games still left against…
At Mississippi At LSU
…which of course means that A&M will officially be looking for a new head football coach in a few weeks and this is going to be a Helluva interesting hire in College Station.
A few of us here at Coaches Hot Seat have been lucky enough to have been on the Texas A&M campus a dozen-plus times both for football games and during the off-football-season and Aggieville is just a very unique place that needs a very unique coach that can fully embrace and get a Helluva lot out of A&M and then translate that “Aggie Energy” as we like to call it to the football field to win football games!
It’s often said that a head football coach is the “primary face” of a college football program and often a school and sometimes an entire state like Nick Saban is in Alabama, and to understand that when traveling across America get questions from people in sports, in business, in politics, in every line of work about Nick Saban and what he is doing at Alabama who primarily know something about the state of Alabama because of the Alabama football program and its success over the past decade. At Texas A&M the head football coach is REALLY the face of the Aggies Football Program and the Entire School for that matter and A&M AD Scott Woodward better Damn not mess up this hire because if he does his ass will be out of a job in short order!
4. David Beaty, Kansas – David Beaty’s record in 3 seasons as the head coach at Kansas:
Overall: 3 – 31
Big 12: 1 – 24
That’s enough said about David Beaty at Kansas.
5. Lovie Smith, Illinois – With the Illini’s loss at home to Indiana on Saturday Illinois is now 2 – 8 overall and 0 – 7 in the Big Ten and Lovie Smith’s records in 2 seasons at Illinois now stand at:
Overall: 5 – 17
Big Ten: 2 – 14
Oh…in 2 seasons Lovie Smith + Illinois has not beaten a FBS team with a winning record.
Please…someone…anyone…why is Lovie Smith the head coach of the Illinois Football team?
6. Todd Graham, Arizona State – With Arizona State’s loss to UCLA at the Rose Bowl on Saturday the Sun Devils fell to 5 – 5 on the year and still have to play games against…
At Oregon State Arizona
….which to us looks like a 6 – 6 finish to the season based upon the way Arizona is playing these days and there’s not a chance in Hell or Tempe in the Summer that Todd Graham can hang onto his job with a .500 record in his SIXTH season on the job at Arizona State.
Todd Graham is a solid football coach who like Butch Jones has made some self-inflicted + unforced errors at Arizona State and if the folks at ASU are going to be make a head coaching change they must do ONE thing for sure:
Hire A Head Coach BETTER Than Todd Graham!
7. David Bailiff, Rice – David Bailiff has been at the head coach at Rice for 11 years now which is as long as Coaches Hot Seat has been around starting in the 2007 college football season and in those 11 seasons Bailiff has put up records of…
Overall: 57 – 78
CUSA: 40 – 46
….and he has THREE .500 or better seasons + bowl game trips with the last one coming in 2014 and in our opinion with the 1 – 9 Owls still having to play…
At Old Dominion North Texas
….Rice will be looking for a new head football coach in a couple of weeks and also in our opinion Rice will be able to hire a pretty good coach because Rice also-also in our opinion is a Pretty Damn Good Job with a Helluva lot of very good football players within a 3 hour drive of its campus in Houston!
Great Luck the rest of the season Coach Bailiff!
8. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – Kliff Kingsbury and Texas Tech got a MUST WIN over Baylor on Saturday but then this Baylor football team is 1 – 9 with only a win over Kansas so beating the Bears isn’t much at all and with that win the Red Raiders are now 5 – 5 on the season with games still left against…
TCU At Texas
Damn….it will take some serious football playing for Texas Tech to win either of their last two games and we guess if Tech did win both of them and finished at 7 – 5 overall and 4 – 5 in Big 12 play Kingsbury could hang onto his job in Lubbock but that’s a Helluva BIG IF!
9. Brad Lambert, Charlotte – What we know about the Charlotte Football program you could write on a matchbook but we do know that head coach Brad Lambert in FIVE seasons coaching a Charlotte has records on the board of…
Overall: 17 – 39
CUSA: 4 – 18
…and even at Charlotte that must put your job in serious jeopardy!
…..and at best that looks like 6 – 6 on the season in Mora’s SIXTH year on the job in Westwood.
With a $12M+ buyout and very few rich UCLA alumni that give two rips whether the Bruins win another football game or not it’s not likely that Mora will be fired after this season but that sure the Hell doesn’t mean he’s not on the Hot Seat at Coaches Hot Seat where…
We Expect Excellence In A Place Like UCLA
…even if the folks in the UCLA Athletic Department are willing to accept…
Luke Fickell, Cincinnati vs. Temple – In his first season as the head coach at Cincinnati Luke Fickell is off to a dreadful start which would have moved into Total Disaster area if the Bearcats had lost to Tulane who they beat by one point last Saturday and for Damn sure Fickell better not lose at home to Temple at home on Friday night with these games left to be played after the Owls:
At East Carolina UConn
Hell….Cincinnati SHOULD be able to win their last two games over ECU and UConn so beating Temple to give the Bearcats at least a chance to get to 6 wins in 2017 is a MUST so coach your team up Son!
Kalani Sitake, BYU vs. UNLV – BYU is already 2 – 8 on the season which will break a streak of 12 straight postseason appearances for the Cougars and now it’s a matter of BYU not embarrassing itself down the stretch in its last three games against…
At UNLV UMass At Hawaii
A normal BYU team would have a better than 90% chance of beating the last three teams on their schedule but Hell this BYU team…might just lose all three….and if BYU finishes at 2 – 10 in 2017 Kalani Sitake might very well find himself out of a job come early December because our Mormon friends in Utah are not going to put up with the BYU Football program being Totally Destroyed by ANYONE!
Gus Malzahn, Auburn vs. Georgia – Not only is Gus Malzahn…
0 – 6
…the last three seasons against Georgia and Alabama Malzahn’s record in SEC play since the 2014 season forward now stands at…
16 – 14
…and because of that the calculus on The Plains is very simple for Gus Malzahn…if Auburn loses to Georgia and Alabama this year he will be…
0 – 8
…against the Dawgs and Tide the last 4 seasons and Malzahn’s record in SEC play will be sitting on…
16 – 16
…and there’s not a chance in Hell Gus Malzahn can survive to coach Auburn again in 2018 with that kind of record in SEC play!
Beat Georgia Gus Malzahn because for Damn sure you don’t want your job status for 2018 riding on beating Nick Saban and Alabama on November 25 Son!
Steve Addazio, Boston College vs. NC State– Steve Addazio and Boston College has won 3 straight games over…
Louisville Virginia Florida State
….to raise the Eagles record to 5 – 4 on the year but to get to 6 wins for Addazio to keep his job he needs at least 1 win in BC’s last three games against…
NC State UConn At Syracuse
Hell…if Steve Addazio can’t win at least 1 of their last 3 games his ass should be fired in late November!
Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. LSU– With the Total Damn Disaster against Coastal Carolina narrowly avoided last week Bret Bielema is still sitting on a record in SEC play of…
11 – 26
….in 5 years as the head coach at Arkansas and the 4 – 5 Razorbacks still have games in 2017 against….
At LSU Mississippi State Missouri
Damn….that looks like 3 more losses for Arkansas this season which means Arkansas would finish at….
4 – 8
…and we remind everyone this is Bielema’s FIFTH season on the job but then now…this is the University of Arkansas we are talking about here where…
We Are Below Damn Average and Proud Of It!
Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech vs. Baylor– In FIVE seasons as the head coach at Texas Tech Kliff Kingsbury the prodigal son is sitting on records of…
Overall: 28 – 31
Big 12: 14 – 29
….and Tech still has to play this season games against:
Baylor TCU At Texas
Hell…if Tech doesn’t beat Baylor on Saturday 4 – 5 Tech has no chance to get to 6 wins in 2017 which for Texas Tech Football still…
Below Damn Average
….so Tech will be looking for a new head football coach save Kingsbury running the table the rest of the year…right?
Matt Rhule, Baylor vs. Texas Tech– Luckily for Matt Rhule and Baylor there are Helluva lot of Damn Morons in Lawrence, Kansas that have no Damn idea how to hire a head football coach so the Bears did get a win over Kansas last week but if Rhule is actually coaching this Baylor football team one would think he would get at least 2 wins in 2017….right?
Baylor has left in 2017 games against…
Texas Tech Iowa State At TCU
Damn Matt Rhule…you better beat Tech on Saturday Son because there’s No Damn Way you are beating Iowa State and TCU!
Lovie Smith, Illinois vs. Indiana – With the loss to Purdue in Week 10 the Illini are now 2 – 7 on the season with games still left against…
Indiana At Ohio State Northwestern
….and if Illinois doesn’t beat Indiana at home they are looking at 2 – 10 record in 2017 after Lovie Smith posted a record of 3 – 9 in his first year on the job!
Damn…please…someone…anyone…why is Lovie Smith the head coach of the Illinois football team?
Mark Stoops, Kentucky vs. Vanderbilt– Last week Mark Stoops lost a MUST WIN Game against Ole Miss at home and if Mark wants to find his ass right back on the Hot Seat as the 2017 football season heads to the close then he can…
Lose to Vanderbilt on Saturday
….and no doubt if Mark Stoops loses this game his ass will be right back on the Hot Seat with a record of 6 – 4 and games still left against…
At Georgia Louisville
Don’t lose Vandy Mark….no don’t do that Son!
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Kentucky – Derek Mason got his MUST WIN over Western Kentucky last Saturday and now the Commodores must keep things rolling by beating Kentucky in Week 11 because 4 – 5 Vandy needs 2 more wins and they still have to play games against…
Kentucky Missouri At Tennessee
Don’t lose to Kentucky Derek…no don’t do that Son!
David Beaty, Kansas vs. Texas – Last season Kansas beat Texas in Lawrence and this year the Jayhawks are 30+ point underdogs against the Horns in Austin and does anyone think Kansas can win this football game?
Not A Damn Person on Earth!
In 3 seasons as the head coach at Kansas David Beaty’s records are…
Overall: 3 – 30
Big 12: 1 – 23
….and KU still has to play this season:
At Texas Oklahoma At Oklahoma State
Turn out the lights because the party is way Damn over in Lawrence for David Beaty!
Butch Jones, Tennessee vs. Missouri– We have been hearing a Helluva lot of interesting info coming out of East Tennessee about who might be the next head coach of the Tennessee Vols with that info going like…
Jon Gruden will or has already been offered the Vols head coaching job
….and right now there are about 5 coaches on the list in the #2 slot if Gruden turns UT down and maybe takes another NFL head coaching job.
The most hilarious thing this week in SEC Football is that Tennessee Football is…
12+ point underdogs
…to a Mizzou Football Team that has a head coach in Barry Odom who in 2 seasons has a record in SEC play of…
3 – 10!
Barry Odom, Missouri vs. Tennessee– Barry Odom has won 3 straight games over 3 pretty weak teams in…
Idaho UConn Florida
…to raise Mizzou’s record to 4 – 5 on the season and this Saturday’s game against a collapsing Tennessee team is a MUST WIN for Odom because a loss in this spot would be nothing short of a…
Complete Freaking Disaster
…and Barry Odom’s ass will be nothing short of a Roaring Forest Fire!
Todd Graham, Arizona State vs. UCLA– We checked in with our contact in Tempe again this week and the word on Todd Graham’s future at Arizona State is that he needs…
…in 2017 to return to coach the Sun Devils next season and now at 5 – 4 with these games left to be played…
At UCLA At Oregon State Arizona
…beating UCLA on Saturday is just flat-out a MUST WIN for Todd Graham!
Jim Mora, UCLA vs. Arizona State– To really understand how bad things are for Jim Mora at UCLA in Jim’s last 25 games coaching the Bruins his record is…
9 – 16
….and fired UCLA head coach Rick Neuheisel’s record in his last 25 games in Westwood was…
10 – 15
….and Rick’s ass got run right of town so Mora would be held to the same standard….right?
Well…one would hope so!
UCLA is now 4 – 5 on the season with games left against…
Arizona State At USC California
….and that sure the Hell looks like a losing season to us especially if the Bruins lose to the Sun Devils in the Rose Bowl on Saturday!
Please Let Us Introduce the Man That Needs No Introduction…Mr. Johnny Cash! Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!
Thank You Mr. Cash!
1. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – It’s hard to know exactly where things went wrong for Kevin Sumlin at Texas A&M but then if Johnny Manziel had been kicked of the Aggies football team for the Horseshit that Johnny was up to a few years back and it seems like is still up to today would Sumlin have ever posted that…
11 – 2
…record in 2012 and beaten Alabama in Tuscaloosa?
No…not a chance in Hell and when you take out that first season of Sumlin’s at Texas A&M which included an overall record of 11 – 2 and a SEC record of 6 – 2 one finds what one would expect to find for a place like Aggies Football over the past FIVE seasons:
Kevin Sumlin: 2013 – 2017
Overall: 38 – 23 (.623)
SEC: 18 – 20 (.474)
We remind everyone that the above records over the past FIVE seasons were posted at TEXAS A&M where any Damn Moron can win 7+ games a year and you have EVERYTHING you could possibly want to win a Helluva lot of football games so in reality the story of Kevin Sumlin in College Station in the end will be…
Johnny Manziel for a couple of seasons…and not the Hell much else!
One thing we noticed this year watching Texas A&M football games were the announcers almost bragging about how Kevin Sumlin was, “playing a lot freshman” as if for some reason the Aggies in Sumlin’s FIFTH year on the job don’t have….
Any Damn Upperclassman To Play
…which may in fact be the story of what has been going on at A&M and as we look down the Aggies Football roster today in early November 2017 we cannot help but think…
Where in the Hell did all those great players that Kevin Sumlin recruited to Texas A&M go?
On top of all of the above with the loss to Auburn on Saturday Kevin Sumlin’s record against Power 5 Conference Schools at Kyle Field now stands at…
9 – 14
….and guess who those 9 wins are over?
Missouri Vanderbilt Mississippi State x 2 Arizona State South Carolina x 2 UCLA Tennessee
Anyone willing to hazard a guess how many of the above teams had winning records in the years that A&M beat them at Kyle Field?
It seems obvious now that Kevin Sumlin will be fired before December arrives with the 5 – 4 Aggies having games left against…
New Mexico At Ole Miss At LSU
…and it will be Damn Fascinating to see who they hire to replace Sumlin because the folks at Texas A&M like the folks at Florida haven’t exactly been hitting it out of the park in hiring head football coaches in recent years!
If we were the AD at Texas A&M we would offer Virginia Tech head coach Justin Fuente…
$7M a year for 6 years
…and see if he could be lured to College Station to take on the challenge of coaching + winning in the SEC.
2. Butch Jones, Tennessee – After four straight losses Tennessee finally got a win on Saturday against a Southern Miss team that just lost to UAB which raises the Vols record to 4 – 5 on the season with games left against…
Davis claimed he suffered “constant intimidation, bullying, and mental abuse” from Butch Jones and that he resigned from UT because of the “hostile work environment.”
As we try to imagine Butch Jones bullying Antone Davis when anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat would have kicked Jones Precious Damn Ass if he had tried that with us in the process teaching Butch a few things we learned in the US Navy we cannot help but wonder just what in the Hell is going on…and has been going on…for the last five years in Knoxville?
Football is a tough sport…it’s a rough sport…it’s not a sport for the weak-hearted, but there’s no excuse for Butch Jones bullying ANYONE and if the above is true just for that Bullshit if it actually happened Jones ass should have already been fired and no doubt in our minds eventually Jones will be fired and it will be very Damn interesting to see if any other schools hire Jones which we have to think his agent Jimmy Sexton has been working the phones on for a few weeks now.
It’s just our humble opinion after watching Butch Jones over the past few years at Tennessee and talking to the good folks in East Tennessee who have seen the Jones era first-hand…
We wouldn’t hire Butch Jones to wash our cars
…even though we acknowledge that Jones is a decent…not good…not great…but decent football coach who is a solid recruiter but is also very average at getting a lot out of the recruits he gets to the school he is coaching.
We haven’t a Damn Clue what’s next for Butch Jones or Tennessee Football but it’s going to be a Damn interesting hire to coach the Vols next and UT AD John Currie better Damn get this hire right because there will be no second chance if he messes this up and it will be a Total Disaster if we are right back in this same spot in a couple of years with the Vols coach’s ass back on the Hot Seat!
3. Mike Riley, Nebraska – Mike Riley is a nice man…Blah..Blah..Blah..but Mike Riley is also an Average Football Coach who has an overall college record of..
112 – 96 (.538)
….at Oregon State and Nebraska and still to this very moment we cannot for the life of us why there was ANYONE on Earth that believed Mike Riley was the right coach to replace Bo Pelini in Lincoln!
Hell…if the AD of Nebraska had come to us as President of the school and said he was going to hire Mike Riley as the head coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers we would have told him…
“Not only are you not hiring Mike Riley to be the next head coach at Nebraska but your ass is now fired because you are clearly a Damn Moron Son!”
Now…if Mike Riley called Coaches Hot Seat tonight and told us he really needed “X” done that did not involve taking his ass off the Hot Seat…
We would do it as fast as humanly possible
….because Riley is the kind of guy if you were really in trouble a person you would go to because Mike is going to the best of his ability help you and get your ass on the down the road into a better place. In the end being a good human being is a Helluva lot more important than being a winning football coach but then Nebraska has had some Helluva Great Human Beings…
Bob Devaney Tom Osborne
…who won a Helluva lot of football games and we have no doubt if the folks in Lincoln put their minds to it they will find another Great Football Coach + Helluva Human Being to lead their football team again soon.
Our opinion on what is going to happen at Nebraska after Mike Riley is…
Scott Frost will or already has gotten around a $6M a year + 5 years offer from Nebraska which if Frost turns down will lead the folks in Lincoln to offering their head coaching job to current Wyoming head coach Craig Bohl who played and coached for Tom Osborne at Nebraska and is a Helluva Football Coach winning THREE straight FCS National Titles at North Dakota State.
If we had to guess today it would be that Scott Frost takes the Florida head coaching job and Craig Bohl is hired at Nebraska and both schools will have made a Helluva upgrade on the football coaching front!
4. David Beaty, Kansas – With the Kansas home loss to Baylor on Saturday David Beaty’s records in THREE season as the head coach at KU now stand at…
Overall: 3 – 30
Big 12: 1 – 23
…and the 1 – 8 Jayhawks still have to play…
At Texas Oklahoma At Oklahoma State
Got 1 – 11 KU?
Is Kansas Football any better today than it was when David Beaty took over in 2015?
No…in fact..it could be argued that KU Football is worse today because in Two-And-A-Half seasons coaching Kansas Chubby Charlie Weis won…
6 Football Games
…and more than likely David Beaty is going to win…
3 Football Games
…in 3 FULL years on the job!
Here’s a Pro Tip for the folks at the University of Kansas:
Hire A QUALIFIED HEAD FOOTBALL COACH this time folks!
Geez…we actually had to write the above line out! What a time to be alive!
5. Bret Bielema, Arkansas –
Really Bret Bielema?
39 – 38 win over Coastal Carolina Son?
Here’s who Coastal Carolina had lost to in 2017 before playing Arkansas:
Texas State Appalachian State Arkansas State Georgia State La. Monroe Western Illinois UAB
Arkansas State beat Coastal Carolina by the score of…
51 – 17
…on October 14 of THIS YEAR and it took a Damn Miracle for Bielema’s Hogs to beat the Chanticleers…what the Hell is a Chanticleer anyway….and this is Bielema’s FIFTH year on the job at Arkansas in the NINTH Damn game of the 2017 season!
Call the Hogs alright…Call the Damn Hogs to Haul Bret Bielema’s ass out of Arkansas and back north of the Mason-Dixon line…and take AD Jeff Long with him…because a few more weeks of this Horseshit and the Arkansas Football program is going to cease to exist!
Let’s check Bret Bielema’s records now after that BIG win over the Chanticleers!
Overall: 29 – 31
SEC: 11 – 26
Oh…4 – 5 Arkansas still has to play this season games against…
At LSU Mississippi State Missouri
Please…someone in Arkansas…for the Love of God and the Pillsbury Dough Boy…put a fork in Bielema…he’s done folks!
Ditto for AD Jeff Long = Fork!
6. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – With the overtime loss to a mediocre Kansas State team on their home field Kliff Kingsbury and Texas Tech are 4 – 5 on the season and it seems the folks in Lubbock have had their fill of the Kingsbury-era:
Who can blame the fans of Texas Tech Football when Kingsbury is sitting on records of…
Overall: 28 – 31
Big 12: 14 – 29
…which is Below Damn Average for what we would expect of ANY head football coach at Tech and thus it seems with these games left to be played…
Baylor TCU At Texas
…the Kingsbury era is effectively over already and for God’s and the Pillsbury Dough Boy’s sake….someone in West Texas….put a fork in Kliff…he’s done!
Word is that Kliff Kingsbury has a $6 million dollar buyout for no Damn logical reason which just makes perfect Damn sense in this…
Age of the Damn Idiots in AD Positions Everywhere One Looks!
7. Lovie Smith, Illinois – Last week we asked everyone at Coaches Hot Seat the following question:
“If you were the AD at Illinois a couple of years ago and you were asked to draw up a list of 100 coaches to be the next head football coach of the Illini would Lovie Smith have been on the list?”
NO ONE here at Coaches Hot Seat said that Lovie Smith would have been on their list of 100 coaches to be the next head football coach of the Illini a couple of years ago and yet…
Lovie Smith is the head coach of the Illini Football team
..and Smith after the loss to Purdue on Saturday is sitting on records of…
Overall: 5 – 16
Big Ten: 2 – 13
…and the 2 – 7 Illini still have to play this season games against:
Indiana At Ohio State Northwestern
Please…someone….anyone…why is Lovie Smith the head coach at Illinois?
8. Jim Mora, UCLA – Evidently when you are on a four game losing streak one of the best things that can happen to you is see the UCLA Bruins on the schedule next and luckily for the 4 losses in a row Utah Utes they did get to play UCLA on Friday night and the score of that game was…
Utah – 48 UCLA – 17
With that loss to Utah Jim Mora’s Bruins are now 4 – 5 on the season with still games to be played against…
Arizona State At USC California
….and from where we sit that looks like a another losing record for the Bruins in 2017 and for Jim Mora that would be TWO straight losing seasons in Westwood and in Mora’s last 25 games the Bruins are now…
9 – 16
…which is a winning percentage of…
….but then this is UCLA we are talking about here so..
We Are Average As Hell and Proud Of It!
What went wrong for Jim Mora at UCLA?
There’s a lot we could write in this spot to answer that question but in our humble opinion the Bruins have had plenty of talent to compete and even win the Pac-12 the last SIX seasons under Mora but in the end having to work and play for a…
Pompous Arrogant Ass
…like Jim Mora was just too much for the UCLA Football program to overcome. Some schools are so strong and some football coaches are so good they can overcome being a…
Pompous Arrogant Ass
…and win a Helluva lot of football games but that’s not going to happen at UCLA and certainly not UCLA under Jim Mora who had made a lot of unforced errors on and off the football field in the last SIX years that will ultimately lead to his firing in Westwood either this year or next.
9. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – The best news for Larry Fedora and North Carolina this past week was that they had a bye so they couldn’t…
Get Their Asses Whipped on the Field
…which no doubt will happen a couple more times this season with the 1 – 8 Tar Heels still having to play games against…
At Pitt Western Carolina At NC State
Considering the University of North Carolina and North Carolina Athletics just got away with….
Decades of Massive Academic Fraud
….let all good folks hope and pray that…
North Carolina Football is Totally Destroyed in the Coming Years
….to make up for the NCAA’s lack of punishment for what is in our opinion…
The Most Corrupt Collegiate Athletic Department in the History of Collegiate Athletics in America!
10. Kalani Sitake, BYU – With the loss to Fresno State on Saturday night BYU’s record on the season now stands at 2 – 8 and head coach Kalani Sitake’s record in TWO seasons on the job is…
Overall: 11 – 12
….which at a place like BYU is nothing short of a…
Total Damn Disaster
…and the Cougars still have to play games against…
At UNLV UMass At Hawaii
…which are all 3 very losable football games!
Maybe Kalani Sitake can get things turned around at BYU after this disastrous to date 2017 season…and maybe he cannot…but either way one has to wonder how long BYU will stick with Sitake who had no head coaching experience when he took over the BYU job which has seen the Cougars take a major step backwards in Year 2 which is always a very troubling thing for head coaches since few head coaches last long-term when they go backwards in Year 2 from Year 1 and in Year 1 BYU posted a record of…
16 CFB Head Coaches Facing MUST WIN Games in 2017 Who’s Coaches + Teams Need To Take It To the Limit in Week 10!
Jim Mora, UCLA vs. Utah – It’s bad enough that Jim Mora is 9 – 15 in his last 24 games coaching the UCLA Bruins but now Jim is fighting ESPN commentator and former Washington Husky QB Brock Huard who made some accurate comments about Pretty Boy Bruin QB Josh Rosen and here comes a game at Utah…which is having a Helluva lot of problems itself….for the 4 – 4 Bruins who may not get to a .500+ season and a bowl game for the second straight year.
How many games will UCLA win out of its last 4 games?
At Utah Arizona State At USC California
Our guess 2 games which means the Bruins might just get their coveted 6 wins in 2017 and when you get 6 wins at UCLA which is…
Average As Hell
…at most places BUT you are Golden in Westwood because after this is…
UCLA we are talking about here = Average As Hell and Proud of It!
Gus Malzahn, Auburn vs. Texas A&M – This is very simple for Gus Malzahn on Saturday against Texas A&M:
Gus Malzahn and his Auburn Tigers cannot lose this game because with these games left to be played…
At Texas A&M Georgia La. Monroe Alabama
….a loss in this spot with the Dawgs and Bama still on the docket and that looks a Helluva lot like…
7 – 5
….to us for Auburn in 2017 and we have been told by someone on The Plains we trust that…
“Anything less than 9 wins and Gus Malzahn is DONE at Auburn and one of those 9 wins better Damn be over Georgia or Alabama!”
Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M vs. Auburn – Not only can Gus Malzahn not afford to lose the games to the Aggies on the Saturday Kevin Sumlin and his A&M team just flat-out…
CANNOT Lose to Auburn!
We have had the feeling for awhile now the that money folks in and around Texas A&M Athletics have had their eye on one particular coach to replace Kevin Sumlin if Sumlin didn’t…
…in 2017 and from where we sit “Meet Expectations” is…
…and the Aggies now at 5 – 3 on the year still have 4 games against…
Auburn New Mexico At Ole Miss At LSU
…and since A&M would have to win out the rest of their games to get to 9 wins it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to understand that a loss to Auburn on Saturday and the Kevin Sumlin era in College Station will end shortly after the Aggies play LSU in Baton Rouge on Saturday, November 25.
Don’t Lose to Auburn Son!
Barry Odom, Missouri vs. Florida – Mizzou head coach Barry Odom has had some luck go his way the last couple of weeks with that luck primarily being that the Tigers got to play doormats…
Idaho and UConn
…in the middle of the 2017 college football season which raised Mizzou’s record to…
3 – 5
…on the year and Odom got some more luck this past week when now former Florida head coach Jim McElwain went running like a Damn Coward from the Gators head coaching job…in our opinion Jimmy…which leaves Florida with Randy Shannon as the interim-head coach which may end up being bad luck for Odom and the Tigers since Shannon might actually have the Florida football team ready to play on Saturday!
With these games left on the schedule for Mizzou…
Florida Tennessee At Vanderbilt At Arkansas
…we have been told by a bird that if Odom win less than 2 of the remaining 4 games there’s a better than 50 – 50 chance his ass gets run out of Columbia in late November.
No…don’t lose to the Florida Gators on Saturday Barry Odom…Son!
Lovie Smith, Illinois vs. Purdue – With the Illini’s loss to Wisconsin last week that drops Lovie Smith’s record at Illinois now to…
Overall: 5 – 15
Big Ten: 2 – 12
…and the Illini are 2 – 6 on the 2017 with these games left to be played:
At Purdue Indiana Ohio State Northwestern
Hell….if Illinois doesn’t beat Purdue on Saturday the Illini will not win another game in 2017 and finish at 2 – 10 and the Lovie Smith era at Illinois will then be nothing short of a…
Complete and Total Disaster!
Don’t lose to Purdue Lovie!
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Western Kentucky – It seems like it was only yesterday that Vanderbilt was 3 – 0 and playing Alabama in Nashville on CBS Sports but after the Tide whipped the Commodores by the score of…
59 – 0
….Vandy has now lost 5 straight football games to be 3 – 5 on the year with a CRITICAL game on Saturday against Western Kentucky that Vanderbilt head coach Derek Mason can just flat-out..
Kentucky Missouri At Tennessee
…to finish the year for Vandy after Western Kentucky as loss in this spot and there’s little chance that the Commodores will be returning to a bowl game this season and for Damn sure if that doesn’t happen Derek Mason’s ass…
Will Be on a Roaring Hot Seat!
David Beaty, Kansas vs. Baylor– Just look at these Win/Loss numbers for Kansas head coach David Beaty in 3 seasons at Kansas:
Overall: 3 – 29
Big 12: 1 – 22
Kansas Football is now 1 – 7 on the 2017 season and have left to play in 2017…
Baylor At Texas Oklahoma At Oklahoma State
…and if the Jayhawks lose to a winless Baylor team on Saturday at home they will finish this year at….
1 – 11
….and No One In Kansas or Across College Football Will Give A Damn!
What a Damn Shame….but then when you hire coaches that are clearly NOT qualified to be the head coach of a school in the Big 12 what else would one expect to happen?
What a Crying and Disgraceful Damn Shame Kansas Football is today!
Matt Rhule, Baylor vs. Kansas – Maybe the Baptists that run Baylor University will let the football program run wild for years will allow the current head coach Matt Rhule to win very few games and also get his ass kissed…like they kissed Art Briles Precious Ass for years….but we here at Coaches Hot Seat will sure the Hell not do that since we were raised by Americans and when your ass is…
0 – 8
…on the season your ass is on the Hot Seat!
Baylor is now 0 – 8 in the first year under Matt Rhule and the Bears got their asses whipped last week by Texas by the score of 38 – 7 and we are getting a whiff of…
A Team Totally Quitting
…and if Baylor loses to a Totally Damn Hapless Kansas team on Saturday it will be confirmed…
The Bears Have QUIT on their head coach Matt Rhule!
Let’s all see if the Bears Totally QUIT on Saturday as we expect them to do and lose to Kansas!
Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech vs. Kansas State – We never thought Kliff Kingsbury would win big as the head coach at Texas Tech but we did think he would have .500+ records by his SIXTH year on the job but right now Kingsbury is sitting on Win/Loss records of…
Overall: 28 – 30
Big 12: 14 – 28
….which we would label as…
Below Damn Average
….and we don’t know many head coaches at Power 5 Conference Schools that can survive for long being…
Below Damn Average!
Texas Tech at 4 – 4 on the season has left to play in 2017….
Kansas State Baylor TCU At Texas
…and anything less than 2 more wins in the last 4 games and the Kingsbury era at Texas Tech will come to an end before December 1 arrives on the calendar and even if Kingsbury goes 6 – 6 in 2017 that will still be…
Below Damn Average
…for Texas Tech Football!
Jimbo Fisher, Florida State vs. Syracuse– A few years ago someone that has known Jimbo Fisher for a couple of decades now told us about Jimbo….
“Forget LSU…if Jimbo Fisher ever leaves Florida State it will be for Auburn.”
The above makes sense considering Jimbo coached at Auburn under Terry Bowden but would Auburn want Jimbo Fisher now who has a football team in a Total and Complete Meltdown in 2017 with a 2 – 5 record with still a few tough games left on the board against…
Syracuse At Clemson Delaware State At Florida
Hell…if FSU loses to Syracuse on Saturday they will more than likely end up with only 3 wins on the board in 2017 and this is a team that coming into this season had won under Fisher…
61 of their last 70 games!
What’s gone wrong for FSU in 2017 besides losing their starting QB against Alabama in the opening game of the season?
Try some Very Average Football after the Alabama game thru the Duke game and then some Disgraceful Football the last two weeks against Louisville and Boston College which could turn into a…
FSU Team Totally Quitting on the year if they lose to Syracuse on Saturday!
Don’t let your 2017 Florida State football team QUIT Jimbo…not if you are planning on winning a Damn thing in 2018 Son!
Mark Stoops, Kentucky vs. Ole Miss – Mark Stoops has been cruising along winning a lot of close games at Kentucky in 2017 and the Cats are 6 – 2 on the year but they still have games against…
Ole Miss At Vanderbilt At Georgia Louisville
…and a loss to Ole Miss on Saturday with 3 more losable games still left on the schedule and Stoops might just wake-up on Monday morning with his ass back on the Hot Seat so Mark Stoops…
Don’t Lose to Ole Miss Son!
Luke Fickell, Cincinnati vs. Tulane – Cincinnati is paying head coach Luke Fickell a Helluva lot of money….
$1.9 Million Dollars A Year
…with a current buyout of…
$9.1 Million Dollars
…which is AMAZING when one considers that Fickell did very little as interim head coach at Ohio State in 2011 and now Fickell is 2 – 6 in his first season with the Bearcats and they still have to play in 2017….
At Tulane Temple At East Carolina UConn
….and if Cincinnati did lose in New Orleans to Tulane on Saturday Fickell is going to find his ass on a…
Roaring Hot Seat
…of EPIC proportions come Monday morning!
Don’t lose to Tulane Son!
Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. Coastal Carolina– We cannot imagine Arkansas losing to a Below Average Coastal Carolina football team that is without its head coach Joe Moglia in 2017 so all we have to say about this is…
Don’t Lose To Coastal Carolina Bielema
…especially with these games left to end the season after CC for the 3 – 5 Hogs:
At LSU Mississippi State Missouri
Will Arkansas even get to 6 wins in his FIFTH year on the job when Any Random Stumble Bum could easily win 6+ games in his FIFTH year coaching the Hogs?
Who knows and there’s the problem with Arkansas Football today and it’s our opinion that there are people working for the University of Arkansas right now that…
Burn Down the Entire State of Arkansas just to avoid having to admit they are WRONG!
Yes…there are Pompous Arrogant Asses and then there are folks like Arkansas AD Jeff Long who in our opinion believes that he spun up the Universe and everyone should get down on their knees and kiss his…
NEVER worked a day in his life in the Real World Precious Ass!
Most…no make that EVERY…company in America if you have hired…
Bobby Petrino – Damn Disaster John L. Smith – Damn Disaster Bret Bielema – Damn Disaster
…you are ass would have been fired long ago but then Jeff Long works for the University of Arkansas where…
We Are A Total Damn Disaster and Proud Of It!
Butch Jones, Tennessee vs. Southern Miss – The Tennessee Vols are…
3 – 5 Overall
0 – 5 in SEC
…in 2017 and we are not quite sure why Butch Jones is still employed in Knoxville considering his records now stand at…
Overall: 33 – 26
SEC: 14 – 23
….which is certainly You Ass Should Be Fired Worth at a place like Tennessee and we are guessing that Jones and Vols AD John Currie are just playing out some kind of crazy string that no one with a working brain can possibly understand over these last four games…
Southern Miss At Missouri LSU Vanderbilt
Memo to Tennessee AD John Currie: Don’t mess up this head coaching hire Son or your athletic director career will be over before you turn 50 Son!
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan vs. Minnesota– Jim Harbaugh is now coaching in a Knife’s Edge at Michigan where one bad loss could send Jimmy and Blue spiraling out-of-control and a loss to a Very Average Minnesota team at home is the kind of bad loss that could blow the whole Damn thing up in Ann Arbor!
Now at 6 – 2 on the year and still having to play these games…
Minnesota At Maryland At Wisconsin Ohio State
…that looks like a record of 8 – 4 for Jim in his THIRD year on the job which is…
Average As Hell
….at Michigan Jimmy!
Don’t lose to Minnesota Son!
Todd Graham, Arizona State vs. Colorado – Since the end of the 2014 season Todd Graham is now sitting on a combined record over the past THREE seasons of…
15 – 18
…and the now 4 – 4 Sun Devils better Damn find at least 3 more wins for their head coach or Todd Graham is going to be out of a job come December.
With these games left to be played…
Colorado At UCLA At Oregon State Arizona
….and having to win 3 of their last 4 games do you think beating Colorado is a MUST?
You bet your ass it is!
Kalani Sitake, BYU vs. Fresno State – BYU got their MUST WIN over Hapless San Jose State last week and now the 2 – 7 Cougars have games left against…
At Fresno State At UNLV UMass At Hawaii
….and if head coach Kalani Sitake has any plans on getting to a .500+ record in 2018 or even being the head coach at BYU in 2018 he better Damn have his team playing hard down the stretch in their last 4 games against teams that even an AVERAGE BYU Football team would have a decent chance of sweeping….the 2017 BYU team…might Damn lose all 4 games left on the docket!
1. Butch Jones, Tennessee – Since beating Georgia on a last second Hail-Mary play on October 1, 2016 last season which left the Vols at 5 – 0 and on top of the SEC East Division Butch Jones Tennessee football team has posted a record of…
7 – 9
…in the last 16 games and the Vols could easily be 1 – 7 in 2017 after razor thin wins over Georgia Tech and UMass this year.
A 7 – 9 record at almost all schools in the SEC will quickly put your ass on the Hot Seat and headed for a sure-fire firing but these are interesting times at Tennessee where it seems that Butch Jones is going to both be forced to walk the plank and then pushed overboard by the UT Administration with a long pole just as he reaches the end of the board!
With games left against…
Southern Miss At Missouri LSU Vanderbilt
…for the 3 – 5 Vols there is a decent chance that Tennessee will have a losing record in Jones FIFTH season on the job and that’s unacceptable at Vanderbilt so for Damn sure it’s unacceptable in Knoxville!
As all college football fans saw this past weekend the difference between Winning and Losing is many times is very small and if there is one thing we would point to that has been the difference between Tennessee losing so many close games under Butch Jones it has been Jones unique ability to cast doubt in Vols players minds if Jones knows what the Hell is doing or not, often by Jones own comments in public, and there is nothing that weakens a team more than one or more of the team members having any doubt all about their leader.
In many ways Butch Jones is a terrific case book example of how a coach SHOULD NOT handle the media and certainly a college head football coach, if he knows what the Hell he is doing, knows how to properly handle the media which just like with football players requires many different ways to handle different members of the news media. The number one rule of a public official such as a head football coach at a high profile school like Tennessee is…
Don’t Shoot Yourself in the Ass
…and Butch Jones has shot himself in the ass so much the last five years by saying so many Damn stupid things and having such an almost paranoid view of the news media, especially the news media in Knoxville, as if they were out to get him it was inevitable that Butch would work himself to his current spot which is…
A Roaring Fire Under His Ass
….and 97% chance or better that Jones will either be coaching at another school in 2018 or be out of coaching all-together!
2. David Beaty, Kansas – It’s as obvious that the wind blows in the state of Kansas that David Beaty should have never been hired as the head football coach at Kansas nor in our opinion had David Beaty ever done anything in his coaching career up to when he was hired at KU to have EARNED the right to be the head coach of a Big 12 school but then now….Kansas also hired Charlie Weis who we wouldn’t hire to shovel shit so in some ways David Beaty was a step-up from Chubby Charlie!
With the loss to Kansas State on Saturday David Beaty’s records at Kansas now stand at…
Overall: 3 – 29
Big 12: 1 – 22
…and the Jayhawks still have to play this season games against:
Baylor At Texas Oklahoma At Oklahoma State
Best Case Scenario Kansas beats Baylor at home on Saturday and then loses its last three games to finish at…
2 – 10
…in David Beaty’s THIRD year on the job and if that’s acceptable in Lawrence then those folks are beyond help and need to be committed to the nearest insane asylum!
3. Lovie Smith, Illinois – With all the mediocre to bad head coaches in the NFL there might be an opportunity for Illini head football coach Lovie Smith to return to the pro game in the near future because there’s not a chance in Hell that anyone at Coaches Hot Seat thinks that Lovie should be coaching college football and Smith’s records at Illinois of…
Overall: 5 – 15
Big Ten: 2 – 12
….prove that as do the Illinois recruiting classes which according to Rivals.com in 2017 was…
…behind Syracuse, Wake Forest, Kansas, UCF, Navy, Army, Western Kentucky, Rutgers, Iowa State….well you get the idea which is in homage to Larry David…..
2 – 6 Illinois still has to play in 2017….
At Purdue Indiana At Ohio State Northwestern
…which to use looks like 3 or even 4 more losses which would be a record of 3 – 9 or 2 – 10 which is following a record of 3 – 9 last season!
Lovie Smith had the respectful record of…
81 – 63 (.563)
…in coaching the Chicago Bears for 9 seasons which included one trip to a Super Bowl and three trips to the Playoffs and if we were Lovie Smith we would have our agent talking to NFL clubs about potential head coaching job opportunities because from where we sit this college gig is going to end one way and one way only…
Lovie Smith getting his ass fired!
4. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – For someone making $3.5 million dollars plus a year Kliff Kingsbury isn’t exactly lighting any fires in West Texas putting up records of…
Overall: 28 – 30
Big 12: 14 – 28
…..in FIVE seasons at Texas Tech and in fact instead of lighting fires Kingsbury has been a bucket of cold water for the Red Raiders who again are fighting just to get to a .500 record in 2017.
Now at 4 – 4 on the season after the loss to Oklahoma Kingsbury and his Texas Tech football team still have to play games against…
Kansas State Baylor TCU At Texas
…and one has to think that even at Texas Tech when you are…
Average As Hell
….your ass will eventually get fired….right?
Just by comparison the previous two head coaches at Texas Tech, Mike Leach and Tommy Tuberville posted a combined record in Big 12 play of….
56 – 50 (.528)
….which means Kingsbury took over a pretty good football program in Lubbock and Kliff has posted a winning percentage in Big 12 play of…
….which is nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster for Texas Tech Football!
5. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – It’s not an admirable thing that in his 59 th game as the head coach at Arkansas….
Which was a MAJOR football program in the SEC when Bielema took it over
….that you have to come storming back to barely beat an Ole Miss football that had its head coach run out of town before the season and even with that win Arkansas is still sitting on a record of 3 – 5 with still games against:
Coastal Carolina At LSU Mississippi State Missouri
This looks to us like a final record of 4 – 8 or 5 – 7 for Arkansas in Bret Bielema’s FIFTH year on the job when by all rights the former head coach of a team in the Big Ten that took his team to three Rose Bowl games should really be hitting his stride and competing for the SEC West and yet….
It took a last second field goal to beat an Ole Miss team had its coach get run and will most certainly have a losing season in 2017!
As one of our Arkansas-alum buddies from Ft. Smith, Arkansas told us on Sunday about the current state of Arkansas Football:
“There are some folks up in Fayetteville that would rather burn down the entire football program and university than admit they were wrong.”
Amen to that brother…Amen to that!
6. Jim Mora, UCLA – Just how bad have things gotten at UCLA after the Bruins loss to Washington on Saturday?
In UCLA’s last 24 games under Jim Mora the Bruins have posted a record of…
9 – 15
…and UCLA still has to play in 2017 games against…
At Utah Arizona State At USC California
…which at best we see the 4 – 4 Bruins splitting which would be a .500 record but is a .500 record in your SIXTH year on the job acceptable at UCLA
Well actually now…we are talking about UCLA Football here where .500 records will keep your ass employed for a Helluva long time because in case you didn’t know it…
UCLA = Average As Hell and Proud Of It!
7. Mike Riley, Nebraska – How bad has the football gotten at Nebraska?
The NEBRASKA CORNHUSKERS needed a last minute touchdown to beat PURDUE on Saturday and fans of Nebraska Football were actually surprised that the Huskers got the win over a PURDUE team that just lost to RUTGERS!
Yes…that’s the world we live in today where they throw a party in Nebraska when they beat Purdue in the last minute and now the 4 – 4…Yep…4 and Freaking 4 Cornhuskers get to go play games against..
Northwestern At Minnesota At Penn State Iowa
….and if Nebraska plays its BEST football they will get to 6 wins in 2017!
With that Nebraska win over PURDUE Mike Riley’s record in Lincoln now stand at…
Overall: 19 – 15
Big Ten: 12 – 10
….which with 34 games on the books puts Mike Riley’s overall winning percentage at Nebraska is…
…and former and fired Nebraska head coach Bill Callahan…how in the Hell did Bill Callahan get hired at Nebraska is still a shocker to the core…had a winning percentage after 34 games of…
Oh…just for kicks Bo Pelini’s winning percentage after 34 games at Nebraska was…
Yep…if the folks in the Great State of Nebraska are thrilled about beating PURDUE in the last minute then we congratulate you because you are now just like UCLA Football…
Average As Hell and Proud Of It!
8. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – One really has to wonder how Kevin Sumlin could allow a football team like Mississippi State that got its ass whipped by Georgia and Auburn on the road to come into Kyle Field and whip the Hell out of his Aggies by the score of 35 – 14 when Sumlin knew his ass would be on the line if A&M lost to the Bulldogs by just one point…instead the Aggies just flat-out…
Got Their Asses Whipped
…by the Bulldogs which makes us really wonder:
Just what in the Hell is Kevin Sumlin doing to earn that $5 Million Dollars A Year because for Damn sure he didn’t seem to bother to get his team ready to play a home game against Mississippi State!
You are making $5 Million Dollars A Year Sumlin…is it too Damn much for fans of Texas A&M Football to expect you to…
Have Your Damn Team Ready To Play Football?
Kevin Sumlin now has a record at Kyle Field against Power 5 schools of..
9 – 13
….which is a stadium where Texas A&M should next to NEVER lose a football game to any team not named Alabama is something that is impossible for Sumlin nor anyone else to explain and now the 5 – 3 Aggies have to finish the season against…
Auburn New Mexico At Ole Miss At LSU
Talk about a game that the outcome of will more than likely decide the future status of the two coaches this coming Saturday’s game of Auburn at Texas A&M is…
Losing Coach Is Going To Get His Ass Fired For Sure
…which should make for great TV viewing but which no doubt will be miserable for both Hot Seat coaches Gus Malzahn and Kevin Sumlin who with a loss will put their ass in a totally untenable situation that can only be avoided by doing one thing…
Winning the Damn Football Game!
Memo to Kevin Sumlin: This time Son how about getting your Texas A&M Football team ready to play against Auburn! Is that really too much to ask since after your ass is making…
$5 Million Dollars A Year?
Geez some of these coaches are getting away with Bullshit + Mediocrity that wouldn’t be tolerated in ANY company in America with workers making $40,000 a year!
9. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Yes…there is a GOD and that GOD has evidently decided that since the NCAA doesn’t give a Damn that the..
University of North Carolina
…wouldn’t bother to monitor the academic activities of their student athletes….i.e…UNC athletes were involved in…
Massive Academic Fraud
….that then North Carolina Football should totally crater and that’s exactly what has happened to the now 1 – 8 Tar Heels who will hopefully go straight into the bowels of Hell and be…
…before all is said and done and let’s hope that UNC will get its ass whipped in their last three games against..
At Pitt Western Carolina At NC State
Hell…even this North Carolina team will be able to beat Western Carolina but then a record of…
2 – 10
…is a Total Damn Disaster and it couldn’t happen to an athletic department at North Carolina that is full of…
…that in our opinion allowed Massive Academic Fraud to go for decades and did NOTHING!
Please God….Destroy North Carolina Football and Basketball because for Damn sure the NCAA wasn’t willing to do their duty while at the same time opening the door for other schools to commit….
Massive Academic Fraud
..and when all that Massive Academic Fraud goes before an NCAA Committee the schools will just say…
“Look at what you let North Carolina get away with!”
Go To Hell North Carolina and the NCAA too for that matter!
10. Todd Graham, Arizona State – Todd Graham just wadded up and tossed into the trash those two nice wins over Washington and Utah with ASU’s disastrous performance against USC on Saturday night and now the 4 – 4 Sun Devils will have to play some great football down the stretch to save their head coach’s job who needs 7+ wins to hang onto his job with games left against…
Colorado At UCLA At Oregon State Arizona
Since we haven’t a clue which Arizona State team will show up to play in the above last four games we haven’t a clue what the Sun Devils will finish at this season but we would recommend this to Todd Graham…