Tag Archive: Houston

Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Bozo the Clown

November 20, 2023 0 Comments

 

Where Oh Where do these College Football Weeks and Life in General go these days we don’t know but Week 12 of the 2023 College Football Season is in the books and with that let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Lincoln Riley, USC – One would think in Lincoln Riley’s 26 th game as the Head Coach of the Mighty USC Trojans that the USC program would be ROLLING and we mean whipping the Hell outta folks but actually in that 26 th game against cross-town rival UCLA Riley’s team…

Didn’t even show-up and didn’t seem to ever care that there was a football game on Saturday!

How in Hell exactly can your ass be making over $10M a year and you cannot get your football team ready and motivated to play your biggest rival UCLA?

That’s Is Lincoln Riley’s Only Damn Job and Riley has Totally Failed in his Only Damn Job and if we were the AD at USC we would have fired Riley’s ass on the field right after the game and when it comes to Worthless Arrogant Bastards like Riley who hasn’t worked…

1 Damn Day of his Life in the Real World

…if the Boy is not getting his ass kissed by everyone 24/7 365….think the Dabo Swinney of the West Coast…then in our opinion USC is not going to get…

Damn Anything from Riley from here on out so you might as well run his ass now…or run it one year from today!

In his last 14 games at USC Lincoln Riley is…

7 – 7

…and the Trojans could have easily lost to…

Colorado
Arizona
California

…this season and be looking at a Losing Record in Riley’s second year on the job when many had the Trojans going undefeated in Year 2 of the Riley regime!

Everyone with a 2+ IQ knew that after the 2022 season that USC had to fix their Defense and what does Riley do to address that issue?

Not One Damn Thing leaving Alex Grinch in charge who he had to fire during the season to at least show his ass was doing something but this goes much deeper than just the USC Defense being a Total Disaster because the Trojans Football Team…

Did Not Give 1 Damn Rip about playing against UCLA on Saturday

…and for that Riley’s ass should have already been fired and given 30 minutes to get everything cleared-out and off the USC campus!

We wrote and said and Tweeted and told anyone that would listen for years that Clay Helton was a Total Disaster and was going to Destroy USC Football if allowed to hang around coaching the Trojans but after his first full 2 seasons on the job as the Head Coach at USC Helton’s record was..

21 – 6

Lincoln Riley’s record after 2 seasons with a bowl game left…

18 – 8

In Year 3 Clay Helton went 5 – 7 and Clay had a Helluva Lot More coming back to play for the Trojans in Year 3 than what Riley has coming back in 2024 and…wait for it…

USC is headed into the Big Ten Conference!

USC’s 2024 Football Schedule >

LSU – Las Vegas
Utah State
At Michigan
Wisconsin
At Minnesota
Penn State
At Maryland
Rutgers
At Washington
Nebraska
At UCLA
Notre Dame

How many games you think the USC is gonna win next season realizing now that…

The USC Football Team has already Totally Quit on Lincoln Riley in 2023!

Got another 5, 6, or 7 win season?

That is why Lincoln Riley should be fired TODAY before this gets worse….a Helluva Lot Worse!

2.  Tom Allen, Indiana – With Indiana’s loss to Michigan State at home on Saturday that leaves the Hoosiers record in 2023 at…

3 – 8

…and Allen’s Records at IU now at >

Overall:  33 – 48
Big Ten:  18 – 42

Tom took Indiana to 2 seasons of .500+ football and 2 bowl games in 7 years on the job which is….

Below Average

…because we would expect that to be 3 to 4 .500+ seasons at IU in 7 years and really now that’s enough said on this matter and we wish Tom all the luck in the world in the future….at Indiana or elsewhere!

3.  Sam Pittman, Arkansas – It was announced on Sunday that Sam Pittman will be back to coach the Razorbacks in 2024 and Good For Sam who was asked after the Hogs win over FIU about his job status with Sam basically saying…

Talking about me being fired isn’t great for recruiting

…which is of course why Head Football Coaches need to…

Win Some Damn Football Games!

…and then no one will ask your ass about your job status!

In 4 seasons at Arkansas Pittman has posted records of…

Overall:  23 – 24
SEC:  11 – 22

…which we would put in the Average category which ain’t gonna make anyone happy in the State of Arkansas because who in the Hell likes Average As Hell anyway?

No one and on that particular issue we have a good buddy who lives in Texarkana, Arkansas who we been going fishing with when we in that part of the world for 25+ years now and this Ole Boy could buy and sell most folks in Arkansas outside of the Waltons in less than 15 minutes and that Ole Boy had a very astute comment on Sam Pittman after Sam got a new contract from Arkansas >

“Sam has lost a little of his fire since he got that big new contract. Can’t say I blame him, but there’s definitely less want-to with Sam than there has been in the past.”

We would agree with that statement and now given another year on the job it’s up to Sam to get the Hogs back to at least Above Average forgetting about Great or Awesome but the 2024 Arkansas schedule is a bear for sure…with SEC Game dates not set yet >

UAPB
At Oklahoma State
UAB
Texas A&M – Dallas
La. Tech
LSU
Ole Miss
Tennessee
Texas
At Auburn
At Miss State
At Mizzou

9 Wins = Awesome
8 Wins = Great
7 Wins = Good
6 Wins = Average
5 Wins = Disaster

We would imagine Sam’s gonna need 7 Wins Minimum in 2024 to return to coach Arkansas in 2025 with 6 Wins not making anyone happy and 5 Wins…

Turn out the Lights and Sell the Jukebox because this is OVER!

Get Em Sam!

4.  Billy Napier, Florida – It was good to see the Florida Gators with some fight on Saturday night against Missouri, especially compared to USC which didn’t even show-up to play against UCLA at home, but this is FLORIDA we are talking about here and Billy Boy Napier now sitting on records at UF of…

Overall:  11 – 13
SEC:  6 – 10

This is FLORIDA we are talking about here and in his first 2 years on the job Billy Boy has gone…

6 – 7
5 – 6

…and Dan Mullen in his first 2 years at Florida went >

10 – 3
11 – 2

This is FLORIDA we are talking about here so Billy Napier is in a Helluva spot with an undefeated Florida State team coming to town next week, although without their Starting QB, and if Billy Boy loses to the Seminoles to post a losing season in Year 2….

This is FLORIDA we are talking about there….Right?

5.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – After back-to-back losses by the scores of…

59 – 25
42 – 17

….the Baylor football program is in a Total Free-Fall and watching Dave Aranda after the loss to TCU it seems Dave doesn’t have a Damn Clue what is going on with his own football program…

46 Games into his tenure at Baylor!

It’s easy to see football programs where the Players have quit listening to the Coaches like at Baylor but it’s often difficult to know why the Players are no longer listening to the Coaches and really impossible for us at Coaches Hot Seat to know what is going on inside the Baylor Football Program in Waco but there’s something going on that is causing this Rolling Disaster that has caused the Bears to post a record of…

3 – 12

…in their last 15 games!

If Dave Aranda looks closely enough at the Baylor Football Program, things He and his Coaches have or haven’t done, and other issues around the Bears Program and the Baylor campus itself he will more than likely find what is causing this Rolling Disaster and often the very best place to look when a sports team or workplace is in chaos, dysfunction, and is under-achieving is the Leader looking right into the mirror at his or her own actions….or lack of action on 1 or more things!

Baylor now at 3 – 8 on the season has one game left….hosting West Virginia next Saturday and we would recommend that Dave Aranda win this game or at the very least make it a close game because another blowout in this spot and that could be it for the Aranda era at Baylor!

6.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – With the Nevada loss to Colorado State on Saturday that leaves Head Coach Ken Wilson’s records at Nevada…

Overall:  4 – 19
MWC:  2 – 13

That’s plenty said on this situation!

7.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – We saw that Tillman Fertitta the University of Houston Super-Booster said that…

Dana Holgorsen will be back to Coach Houston in 2024

…and only thing we can say to Tillman besides…

“We need some more rolls and butter out here and Pronto Son!”

…is that Ole Tillman must have some Really Low Expectations for Houston Football if he thinks 4 – 7 is Acceptable Football and the Cougs still have to play a road game at UCF to round out their first season in the Big 12 which could see a…

2 – 7

…record in Big 12 play!

Oh but Tillman says…

“We won a couple of Big 12 games!”

Oh that’s Rich and when the Hell you gonna get those Rolls and Butter out to us Son?

Ole Tillman did say…

“Next year we’ll expect a lot more.”

Fine but we expected those Rolls and Butter out here 15 minutes ago and they ain’t here yet Son!

8.  Mario Cristobal, Miami – Mario Cristobal’s Overall Record at FIU, Oregon, and Miami >

73 – 72

Mario Cristobal’s Overall Record at Miami >

11 – 12

Y’all starting to notice a trend here?

Good then your ass has a 2+ IQ and after the loss to Louisville on Saturday the Canes in Year 2 under Mario are at 6 – 5 with a game left…

At Boston College

…and a BC Head Coach in Jeff Hafley who REALLY needs a win and if Miami loses this game and ends up at…

11 – 13

…in 2 years on the job for Mario then what in Hell is this Boy being paid for because this ain’t it!

Oh….Miami under Mario record in ACC play >

5 – 10

That ain’t good at Duke so it sure the Hell ain’t good at Miami!

9.  Matt Rhule, Nebraska – There’s just no explaining the end of the Nebraska at Wisconsin game when it comes to the Huskers clock management and if Nebraska had found a way to substitute Bozo the Clown for Matt Rhule in 4 th quarter of that game the Huskers more than likely beaten Wisconsin but since the man that played Bozo has been dead for years now that wasn’t possible but Hell you could have dressed up Any Damn Moron in a Bozo outfit and he or she done better than Rhule handling things in yet another loss for Nebraska…the hits just keep coming…and now it’s…

Beat Iowa at home or Losing Season for Year 1 under Matt Rhule at Nebraska!

Hey….maybe put Any Random Guy in the Bozo outfit on the sideline coaching the Huskers against Iowa and give him $25 and a voucher for 50% off at Chuck-E-Cheese and Hell Nebraska will at least have a chance against the Hawkeyes and that’s something for AD Trev Alberts to give a good deal of thought about this week and we know where you can get your hands on a Bozo outfit Trev so give us a ring if you decide to go that route Son!

10.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – Somehow the 3 – 7 New Mexico Lobos went to the Central Valley of California on Saturday night and knocked off Fresno State to move to 4 – 7 on the season with game against Utah State at home left to play and Danny Gonzeles’ records at UNM are now…

Overall:  11 – 31
MWC:  5 – 25

That’s ain’t good folks…not good at all!

11.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College – Just when you thought that Jeff Hafley had gotten his ass off the Hot Seat for 2023 by reeling off 5 straight wins his BC Eagles turn around and lose 2 straight games and here comes Miami to Boston to end the season and since Hafley’s records at BC are now…

Overall:  21 – 25
ACC:  12 – 21

…we recommend he beats the Canes in this 2023 season finale because a loss in this spot to Mario and the Sputtering Canes would be nothing short of a Total Disaster!

12.  Brent Pry, Virginia Tech – Brent Pry if anything is Inconsistent as All Get Out and after losing to NC State on Saturday the Hokies now have to win the last game of the season against a surging Virginia team on the road to get to 6 Wins in 2023 and…

We are talking about VIRGINIA TECH here…aren’t we?

Yep we are and in 2 years on the job in Blacksburg Brent Pry is now sitting on records of..

Overall:  8 – 14
ACC:  5 – 9

That’s is nothing short of a Total Disaster when talking about VIRGINIA TECH Football and just by comparison Justin Fuente who was run out of Blacksburg to hire Pry had records in his first 2 seasons at Va. Tech of…

Overall:  19 – 8
ACC:  11 – 5

Don’t lose this game to Virginia Son…just don’t do it!

Let’s Play Football!

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – These Prima Donna Million $$$ Head Coaches Need To Get Off Their Worthless Asses and Show Up and Work!

November 13, 2023 0 Comments

 

Post Week 11 of the 2023 CFB Season is done and that’s just Not Believable but onto Week 12 we go!

The Coaches Hot Seat Member who normally writes the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis each week during the season is traveling in Europe on business so wasn’t here last week to do the Post Week 10 write-up and he’s not back yet as he is still working to drum-up more business on the Continent so we have a pinch-hitter at the plate and believe this is usually the spot we bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell so come on out Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Tom Allen, Indiana – Tom Allen is a Good Man who has done a decent job at Indiana but with 3 Straight Losing Seasons now locked-in we doubt Tom will survive to coach the Hoosiers in 2024 but what in Hell do we know?

With the loss to the Illini on Saturday the Hoosiers are now 3 – 7 with games left against…

Michigan State
At Purdue

Hell…both those games are Winnable so let’s see if you can win the them Tom and Good Luck to You Coach!

2.  Sam Pittman, Arkansas – Sam Pittman also a Good Man who has gotten behind the 8-Ball at Arkansas and we not are not quite sure why the Hogs weren’t ready to play Auburn at home after a Big Win over the Gators on the road but a devastating and disastrous loss to Florida leaves Arkansas at 3 – 7 with games left against…

FIU
Missouri

Hell….Arkansas can win both those games and finish at 5 – 7 and maybe Sam can get this thing straightened-out in the offseason but what in the Hell do we know?

3.  Billy Napier, Florida – It’s hard to know what to make of Billy Napier at Florida who has Severely Underperformed with the Gators compared to recent Florida Head Coaches and here’s how recent UF Coaches done in their first 2 years on the job realizing Billy Boy now sitting on record of…

11 – 12

Gators HCs after 2 seasons >

Dan Mullen:  21 – 5
Jim McElwain:  19 – 8
Will Muschamp:  15 – 11
Urban Meyer:  22 – 4
Ron Zook:  16 – 10
Steve Spurrier:  19 – 4
Galen Hall:  17 – 1 – 1

That’s why Billy has been nothing short of a Total Disaster and we haven’t a clue what we would do if we hired as AD at Florida tomorrow besides sitting down with Napier and finding out…

Just what in the Hell is going on here Son?

Florida is now at 5 – 5 on the season has left in 2023…

At Mizzou
Florida State

That looks like 5 – 7 to us and that would leave Napier’s 2-year record at Florida at…

11 – 14

What in the Hell is going on in Gainesville exactly to cause that and for the life of us and we cannot think of 1 Damn Reason why this could possibly happen but then what in the Hell do we know?

4.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – In 4 seasons at New Mexico Danny Gonzales records are >

Overall:   10 – 31
MWC:  4 – 25

Enough said on that.

5.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – In Dave Aranda’s last 14 games his record is…

3 – 11

3 and Freaking 11!

What in the Hell is going on in Waco exactly?

Aranda’s Records at Baylor >

Overall:  23 – 23
Big 12:  15 – 19

That’s just Damn Pitiful and 3 – 7 Bears have left in 2023 >

At TCU
West Virginia

That looks like 3 – 9 to us and that’s just Damn Pitiful and is driven by an Arrogance that Dave Aranda believes he knows more about the Game of Football than anyone else on Earth, in our humble opinion, and not surprisingly the Baylor Bears are getting their asses handed to them which is not surprising to us at all!

6.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – With the loss to Utah State on Saturday Nevada’s record in 2023 dropped to 2 – 8 and Head Coach Ken Wilson’s Records at UNR now stand at >

Overall:   4 – 18
MWC:  2 – 12

Nevada has left this season games against…

At Colorado State
Wyoming

That looks like 2 – 10 to us and enough said on that!

7.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – Saturday’s home loss to a Hapless Cincinnati team was Holgorsen’s 57 th game as the Head Coach at Houston and if that’s what your ass is going to put on the field in your 57 th game at a job like Houston paying your ass $3M+ a season then your ass should be fired on the field right after the game!

Now at 4 – 6 on the season for Houston with games left against…

Oklahoma State
At UCF

…Holgorsen may very well end up with Another Losing Season at Houston which be…

3 Losing Seasons in 5 Years on the job!

What in the Hell?

Hell, that’s worse than Jimbo Fisher and Fisher’s ass just got run out of College Station even though he had a $77M buyout!

8.  Zach Arnett, Mississippi State – What we don’t get about Zach Arnett’s tenure at Mississippi State is just why in the Hell with a returning QB who is very Damn good QB running The Pirate’s system why change to an offense different from the one that Mike Leach had such great success with in Starkville?

It Just Makes No Damn Sense At All!

With the destruction of the Bulldogs by Texas A&M that leaves Miss State at 4 – 6 on the year with games left against…

Southern Miss
Ole Miss

We would Highly Recommend Zach winning both of these games if he wants to hold onto his job and for Damn sure if we were hiring a Head Coach at Mississippi State we would find a Coach that could run an up-tempo offense that was the same or something similar to what The Pirate ran in Starkville because that’s the…

Only Damn Way at MSU Your Ass Is Winning in the SEC Conference folks!

9.  Lincoln Riley, USC – You have to wonder…

Is Lincoln Riley just a Damn Moron, is he just Very Stubborn, or is the Boy just a Damn Moron because Everyone with a 2+ IQ saw that the Trojans Defense cost USC a shot at a National Title last season but Ole Lincoln Boy comes back with…

Same DC with Same Crapola Defense and has to run that DC in the middle of the season because of that Same Crapola Defense!

What exactly is your ass thinking Riley or does your ass even know 2 + 2 and/or that your ass has to play Some Kind of Damn Defense to Win Something Son?

USC has now lost 4 of their last 5 games and shoulda have lost at Cal and could have easily lost to Arizona and Colorado too because of that…

Same Crapola Defense

…and now the 7 – 4 Trojans who Bozo the Clown could have coached to 10 Wins Minimum have left in 2023…

UCLA

…at the Coliseum and the Bruins are playing Crapola Football too as well so this should be a Humdinger of a Game with the Losing Head Coach having his ass launched onto the…

Face of the Sun Hot Seat!

10.  Mario Cristobal, Miami – In 2 seasons at Miami Mario Cristobal is now sitting on a record of…

11 – 11

…and the 6 – 4 Canes have games left against…

Louisville
At Boston College

…this season and Hell Miami could easily lose both of those games and here are Miami HCs records after 2 seasons on the job >

Manny Diaz:  14 – 10
Mark Richt:  19 – 7
Al Golden:  13 – 11
Randy Shannon:  12 – 13
Larry Coker:  24 – 1
Butch Davis:  17 – 6
Dennis Erickson:  21 – 3
Jimmy Johnson:  18 – 7
Howard Schnellenberger:  14 – 9

Hell….Mario Cristobal could end up with the Worst Damn First 2 Years of a Head Coach in Modern Miami Football History and save us the Horseshit that Mario took over a worse situation than some of the above Coaches!

That’s Absolute Crapola and for Mario to claim that is Total Horseshit and how a Damn Loser talks!

It’s Miami Son! Quit Crying and Coach Your Damn Team and Earn that $10M a season or resign but whichever….Quit Your Damn Crying and Excuse-Making your Prima Donna Piece of Crapola who hasn’t done…

1 Damn Thing In Your Entire Life to have EARNED the Right to Coach Miami and you get the job anyway and cry to anyone and everyone that your ass took over a disaster!

That’s Horseshit!

11.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – Butch Jones in 3 seasons at Arkansas State >

Overall:  10 – 24
Sun Belt:  5 – 17

Oh the 5 – 5 Red Wolves have left in 2023…

Texas State
At Marshall

We Highly Recommend Butch beat Texas State on Saturday and Marshall on November 25!

12.  Matt Rhule, Nebraska – Tell you what we are Damn Tired Of here at Coaches Hot Seat >

Coaches making $9M+ a year and putting teams on the field that perform like Total Crapola as if…

Their Asses Are Not Even Coached at All

…which is the way that Nebraska played against Maryland at home on Saturday!

Just what in the Hell is your ass doing all week Matt because if you are going to claim that You and the Nebraska Coaches were actually Coaching the Huskers last week in the run-up to the Terps game…

All Your Damn Asses should be fired Right Damn Now!

Memo to Matt Rhule >  Get off Your Lazy Damn Ass and Start Coaching Nebraska and if your ass isn’t interested in Coaching the Huskers then your ass needs to be run out of Lincoln as well and this time the folks at Nebraska can hire…

Bozo the Clown because at least Bozo’s ass would show up and Do His Damn Job which your ass is not doing Son!

$9M+ a year and your ass loses at home to a Pitiful Maryland team….Geez…

Matt Rhule’s ass should be fired tonight and put on Greyhound Bus to Loserville USA where his ass would be right at Damn Home!

The now 5 – 5 Huskers have left this season…

At Wisconsin
Iowa

Got 5 – 7?

You gonna have it Nebraska fans because Matt Rhule’s ass ain’t gonna do Damn anything because if his ass actually showed up and worked the Nebraska team would…wait for it…

Show Up and Play Football!

Matt Rhule = Just Another Overpaid Worthless Excuse for a Head Coach who needs to get his Worthless Ass run and run out of football FOREVER!

Let’s Play Football!

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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Post Week 9 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give Em Hell Johnny – Welcome To the Hot Seat Dabo “I, I, I, I, and Always I My Ass Is King of the Universe” Swinney

November 1, 2023 0 Comments

 

Week 9 of the College Football Season is already underway with a game on Halloween Night and that means we are late again in bringing out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thanks Johnny!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1. Tom Allen, Indiana – Our Expectations for Indiana Football are not very high…

6 Wins A Season and you Get 7 Wins = Great

Tom Allen the last 3 seasons at Indiana…

2021: 2 – 10
2022: 4 – 8
2023: 2 – 6

…is not so Great or even Good and that’s why Tom finds his ass on the #1 Hot Seat heading into the last quarter of the 2023 CFB Season.

At 2 – 6 Tom Allen needs a miracle of sorts to get to 6 Wins by running the table against…

Wisconsin
At Illinois
Michigan State
At Purdue

….and it will Tough for the Hoosiers to win more than 2 of their last 4 games…in our humble opinion!

You might as well go down Fighting Like Hell Tom so Give Wisconsin Hoosier Hell!

2.  Justin Wilcox, California – Cal really should have beat USC on Saturday in Berkeley but like so much of Justin Wilcox’s time at Cal the Bears came up on the short end of the Honey Pot yet again and that leaves Wilcox’s records at…

Overall:  33 – 41
Pac-12:  18 – 36

….and…

8 – 19

…in Pac-12 play the last 4 seasons!

Not Good…Not Good at all and 3 – 5 Cal now has left in 2023 >

At Oregon
Washington State
At Stanford
At UCLA

That looks like 4 or 5 Wins at best in 2023 which would be the FOURTH straight sub .500 record for Wilcox and even at Cal….

That’s Not Good…Not Good At All!

3.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – The Aggies got the Win over a severely overmatched and totally collapsing Beamer Boy South Carolina team to move to 5 – 3 on the season and now it’s back to Big Boy Football for A&M with a road trip at Ole Miss and let’s be honest here…

In Year 6 on the job at Texas A&M there is just No Damn Excuse for Texas A&M to EVER lose to Ole Miss on the Road, at Home, or Damn Anywhere Else and if the Aggies do lose this game to the Rebels that will tell us just where the Jimbo Fisher regime is at in College Station….

69 Games Into this Fiasco!

Lose to Ole Miss on Saturday and…

Texas A&M is No Damn Better Today than it was when Jimbo took over Texas A&M Football before the 2018 season so…

Don’t Lose This One Jimbo….but then if your ass keeps losing and you can Sit on Your Damn Ass Doing Nothing collecting $77M Large from the Aggie Faithful then Hell losing this game isn’t looking so bad now…is it?

You Got Stupid in this world then you got…Aggieland Stupid!

Aggieland Stupid makes Forrest Gump look like Mensa Member but then Gump NEVER be So Damn Stupid to given Jimbo Fisher this Totally Absurd Contract!

“Momma told me that the Aggies are like a Bunch of Damn Morons!”

Roll Tide!

4.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – Dana Holgorsen is in his FIFTH Season coaching Houston and so far has…

2 Winning Seasons
2 Losing Seasons

….and the Cougars right now at 3 – 5 on the season with these games left…

At Baylor
Cincinnati
Oklahoma State
At UCF

…needs to win 3 of their last 4 games to avoid Holgorsen having…

2 Winning Seasons
3 Losing Seasons

Uhhhhhh…..3 Losing Seasons when your ass is being paid a Piss-Pot Amount of Money to Win Football Games would be….

Not Good….Not Good At All!

We need a Helluva Lot of Butter and Rolls out here Tilman so hop to it Son and Make It Quick!

5.  Sam Pittman, Arkansas – Overall we would say that Sam Pittman has done a Pretty Decent Job at Arkansas against some Brutally Tough Schedules…especially out-of-conference games….tagged onto the already Tough SEC but we don’t determine the Hot Seat Level of CFB Head Coaches…the Fans of the Teams do…and right now the Hogs Fans are Pissed…Mighty Pissed…and now at 2 – 6 on the season after a Totally Inexcusable Home Loss to Mississippi State Pittman and the Hogs have reached a crossroads of sorts and it’s now…

Put Up Time or Unplug that Jukebox for Good!

Arkansas has left in 2023…

At Florida
Auburn
FIU
Mizzou

…and there’s just No Damn Reason that the Hogs should go less than 2 – 2 in these last 4 games and even 3 – 1 should be achievable but let’s say the Hogs do go 3 – 1 and finish the season at…

5 – 7

…where would that leave Sam Pittman?

In a Very Damn Precarious Situation is where that would leave Sam so Give the Gators Hell in Gainesville like you Got Nothing To Lose because…

Your Ass Has Nothing To Lose Sam!

Great Luck!

6.  Billy Napier, Florida – Talk about a Coach that has Nothing To Lose Ole Billy Boy Napier in his SECOND Season at Florida is now sitting on records of…

Overall:  11 – 10
SEC:  6 – 7

…and we talking about FLORIDA here not Podunk U and the 5 – 3 Gators have left in 2023 >

Arkansas
At LSU
At Missouri
Florida State

We recommend HIGHLY that Billy Boy Napier not lose to Arkansas on Saturday because a Loss in this spot to the Hogs could lead to 4 Straight Losses to end the season and if that happens….really now…

Anything Could Happen and we mean ANYTHING!

7.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – You would think almost 40 games into your tenure at New Mexico that your team be Humming Along and Playing Great Football but on Saturday night the Lobos went up to Reno and…

Got Their Asses handed to them by a 1 Win Nevada Team!

Pitiful…Just Pitiful and that now leaves Danny Gonzales record at New Mexico at…

Overall: 1 0 – 29
MWC:  4 – 23

Damn Pitiful…Just Damn Pitiful!

8.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – Talk about Pitiful…44 Games into his tenure at Baylor Dave Aranda’s Bears cannot get up to play a Home Game against a struggling Iowa State team and that drops Baylor’s record in 2023 to…

3 – 5

….leaving 4 games against…

Houston
At Kansas State
At TCU
West Virginia

…and Please Now…how in Hell is Baylor gonna win 3 of those last 4 games and get to We Are Mediocre As Hell Bowl Eligible?

Hell…if Baylor doesn’t show up against Houston and loses on Saturday the folks in Waco should just fire Aranda’s ass on the field after the game because this is…

OVER!

9.  Dabo Swinney, Clemson – There’s a Helluva Lot that could be said about Dabo Swinney going after Clemson Fan Trevor on his radio call-in show Monday Night who dared to criticize…

King Dabo King of the Pompous Arrogant Ass Jerks who Loves to Cry, Cry, Cry and Not Take Any Damn Responsibility

….but we asked a psychiatrist friend of ours who doesn’t follow College Football and worked with a few of us in the President Ronald Reagan Administration to listen to Dabo’s retort to Clemson Fan Trevor and he says to us >

“This guy says “I” more than Donald Trump and Trump is the Most Conceited Pompous Arrogant Ass I ever seen not in a mental institution.”

Ain’t that the Damn Truth and now in this the 17 th season that Coaches Hot Seat has covered the Great Game of College Football we have really only pulled against and hoped he would lose while getting great joy when he got his ass handed to him and that was…

Cheeseburger Charlie Weis at Notre Dame and Kansas

#2 on the Short Damn List of Coaches that Coaches Hot Seat pulls against is now Dabo Swinney and this goes just way behind not liking someone because they believe…

Their Precious Asses Spun Up the Universe, Invented Everything from the Moon and Stars and the Universe including the Game of Football, and really seem to believe that ONLY THEIR ASSES can Win Football Games when…

Bozo the Clown could Win 10 Games A Season at Clemson and Notre Dame

….No…this goes way beyond all of that and is really a fight for…

Right vs Wrong

Good vs Damn Idiocy

Decency vs Total Worthless Arrogance

Dabo Swinney is on the WRONG side of ALL of the above if your ass raised by Parents who taught your ass that saying…

“I, I, I, I, I…I” a Zillion Times

…is WRONG and taking credit for Damn Everything and forgetting The Damn Players who Won all those Games Your Worthless Piece of Crapola Dabo and that’s why…

We Really Do Hope You Fail Miserably Dabo and Your Ass Is Run out of the Game of College Football and Sports in America because You Dabo are a….

Clear and Present Danger to Anyone You Are Coaching or Managing or Doing Damn Anything With

…and let’s just hope…

The Fighting Irish and All Future Clemson Opponents Beat the Living Hell out of Dabo “It’s All My Ass” Swinney!

Memo to Dabo Swinney >

Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant knew what Winning was all about Son and it’s our firm belief having 3 former Alabama Players who played for The Bear at Alabama the 1970s that Bear Bryant…

Would be Ashamed of Your Worthless Ass today Son

….in our humble opinion!

Go to Hell Dabo You “I, I, I, I, I and Always I Does Damn Everything” Damn Fraud!

Anyone that might say in this spot that we have a grudge against Dabo Swinney we will remind folks that care, when Dabo Swinney got the Interim Head Coaching at Clemson we supported the decision to make him the Permanent Head Coach and even know some of the folks that been on Dabo’s staff who were also at Alabama with Dabo so our change of heart is something that has happened in the last few handful of years and we have a Coaches Hot Seat Member from the Birmingham, Alabama area who has a degree from Alabama just like Dabo and known Dabo for 50+ years and after a trip to the South a few years ago he came back and told us…

“Dabo has changed….I am not quite sure what has caused the change but the Dabo of today is not the Dabo I known my entire life and it’s a change for the bad…very bad.”

That same Coaches Hot Seat Member told us last Fall…

“Dabo is getting worse….a lot worse. More Petty, Selfish, Self-Consumed even, and worst of all Arrogant and Condescending and it’s Shameful.”

As Homer Smith used to say Dabo and would tell you today Son >

“Get Yourself Together” and start Dabo with a hard look in the mirror Son!

10.  Will Hall, Southern Miss – The Golden Eagles played the best they played in 2023 before losing to Appy State on Saturday but the 48 – 38 loss leaves Southern Miss at 1 – 7 on the season and Head Coach Will Hall in precarious spot with games left against…

La. Monroe
At Louisiana
At Mississippi State
Troy

Damn…..if Southern Miss can’t beat La. Monroe at Home on Saturday No Damn Chance they win another game in 2023 so it’s Beat La. Monroe or…

Turn Out the Damn Lights….This Is Over!

11.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – Arkansas State got their Must Win Win on Saturday at home against La. Monroe and now at 4 – 4 on the season and Butch Jones needing 6 Wins to have a chance to keep his job the Red Wolves have left in 2023….

Louisiana
At South Alabama
Texas State
At Marshall

Getting those 2 Wins ain’t gonna be easy….not easy at all so your ass Better Beat Louisiana at Home on Saturday Son!

12.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – Nothing focuses the mind of a Coach more than about to get your ass run and somehow the last 2 weeks Nevada Head Coach Ken Wilson has found a way to get 2 Wins on the board to raise the Wolf Pack’s record to 2 – 6 on the season with these games left to be played >

Hawaii
At Utah State
At Colorado State
Wyoming

Hell….if your ass can beat San Diego State and New Mexico you can beat Hawaii so let’s see if Nevada can get 3 Wins on the board this Saturday against the Warriors!

Let’s Play Football!

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Let’s Bring Out the Great Johnny Cash to Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hellfire! – Thanks Johnny!

October 24, 2023 0 Comments

 

Wow….Week 8 is done and we are into Monday of Week 9 and that means it’s time…past time really…to bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hellfire!

Thanks Johnny!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – (Jimbo Fisher CHS Forum) – We are used to Totally Absurd Coaches Contracts in College Football but Jimbo Fisher’s Buyout $$$ Numbers are Truly Stunning to see and speak of Total Damn Morons in Aggieland getting their asses cleaned out by a Fat Boy in Memphis this is a Clean Out for the Ages!

Jimbo Fisher Buyout $$$ Numbers Year by Year >

2023:  $76,800,000
2024:  $67,550,000
2025:  $58,200,000
2026:  $48,750,000
2027:  $39,200,000
2028:  $29,550,000
2029:  $19,800,000
2030:  $9,950,000

Got Damn Stupidity?

They Got it In Spades and Then Some in Aggieland!

Oh….Jimbo in 6 Seasons coaching the Aggies >

Overall:  43 – 24
SEC:  25 – 20

Got Bozo the Clown Drunk 24/7 365 Done Better?

You would be Right!

The now 4 – 3 Aggies have left in 2023 >

South Carolina
At Ole Miss
Mississippi State
Abilene Christian
At LSU

Someone in Aggieland get your checkbook and get ready to write a check for…

$76,800,000 LARGE

…because this Damn Stupidity cannot continue for Any Damn Amount of $$$ it costs to end it!

Jimbo Fisher CHS Forum

2.  Tom Allen, Indiana – (Tom Allen CHS Forum) – The last 3 Seasons the Hoosiers under Tom Allen have posted records of…

Overall: 8 – 23
Big Ten: 2 – 20

…and this will not be allowed to continue on barring now 2 – 5 Indiana almost running the table the rest of the season against >

At Penn State
Wisconsin
At Illinois
Michigan State
At Purdue

If you are going to lose 31 – 14 to Rutgers at home, there’s very little chance of your ass winning another game in 2023 and we all know how this ends unless Indiana can find a few wins and quick!

Tom Allen CHS Forum

3.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – (Butch Jones CHS Forum) – In 3 seasons at Arkansas State Butch Jones is now sitting on records of…

Overall:  8 – 23
Sun Belt:  3 – 16

…and the folks at ASU are not gonna tolerate losing like that much longer and the now 3 – 4 Red Wolves have left in 2023 >

At La. Monroe
Louisiana
At South Alabama
Texas State
At Marshall

Either Butch Jones wins 3 of these last 5 games or it’s Dandy Don Turn out the Lights and Damn Everything Else with the Butch Jones era at Arkansas State is over!

Butch Jones CHS Forum

4.  Justin Wilcox, California – (Justin Wilcox CHS Forum) – Cal had a bye in Week 8 and at 3 – 4 on the season and these records on the board in 7 seasons of…

Overall:  33 – 40
Pac-12:  18 – 35

…the Bears better start getting some Wins and soon or Wilcox is gonna be in trouble if his ass was coaching at a place that actually cared about the Game of Football so maybe Wilcox is safe even being Mediocre As Hell in Berkeley!

Cal has left in 2023….

USC
At Oregon
Washington State
At Stanford
At UCLA

Hell….the way the Trojans are playing Cal might have a shot in this Saturday’s game but beyond that we don’t see the Bears winning another game expect maybe the Big Game against Hapless Stanford on November 18!

Justin Wilcox CHS Forum

5.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – (Ken Wilson CHS Forum) – Nevada finally ended their Long 16-Game Losing Streak to beat San Diego State on Saturday which didn’t bother to even show up against UNR not scoring a point and Shame on Brady Hoke for that Crapola which really should have landed his ass on the Hot Seat….that could be coming soon!….and now 1 – 6 Nevada has these games left to play in 2023 >

New Mexico
Hawaii
At Utah State
At Colorado State
Wyoming

One would think if your ass can beat San Diego State on the road you can win some of the above games but if we had to guess we guess the record that UNR finishes with…2…maybe 3 wins in Ken Wilson’s 2 nd year in Reno and that’s…

Pitiful…Just Pitiful!

Ken Wilson CHS Forum

6.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – (Dana Holgorsen CHS Forum) – Houston played Texas tough no doubt but with that loss to the Horns the Cougs are now 3 – 4 and Houston has plenty of tough games left on the schedule!

At Kansas State
At Baylor
Cincinnati
Oklahoma State
At UCF

Hell…if Dana can’t win at least 3 of the remaining 5 games the Roll + Butter Boy will run his ass out of Houston….Right?

Hey…need some more Rolls + Butter out here Tilman Son!

Dana Holgorsen CHS Forum

7.  Sam Pittman, Arkansas – (Sam Pittman CHS Forum) – Even as Arkansas has stumbled to a record in their last 18 games of…

6 – 12

….we didn’t want to put Sam Pittman on the Hot Seat but what we seen in 2023 has us thinking it’s either a Shock to the System for Sam and the Hogs or this baby is going down and it’s going down quick and it may already be too late to save anything especially with what the now 2 – 6 Hogs has left to play in 2023 >

At Florida
Auburn
FIU
Mizzou

We are often asked by folks what we might do differently like what would we do right now if we Head Coach at Arkansas and clearly Pittman is right that the Hogs have “Lost Their Spirit” and Fun for the Game of Football and with that being the Truth from where we sit that means….

Sam has gotta do a Mental Reset of Arkansas Football in-season and the only way to do that is to…

Return Fun to Game of Football for the Players

…and what does Pittman have to lose except maybe the Hogs players not responding so if we HC of Hogs now >

We would just Cut It Damn Loose in Practice to focus on Fun and Playing Hard and Having A Helluva Time Hitting Folks and telling the Players…

You only get 1 Damn Chance to Play College Football and if you gonna lose games then Dammit we gonna lose Playing Like Hellfire and Having A Helluva Fun Time Along the Way!

Good Luck against Florida in 2 weeks Sam!

Sam Pittman CHS Forum

8.  Billy Napier, Florida – (Billy Napier CHS Forum) – The team that will host Arkansas on November 4 is the Florida Gators who first have to play #1 Georgia in Jacksonville on Saturday and the Gators now at…

5 – 2

…on the season and with No Margin of Error left could really use a win in this spot and Jeff Sagarin of USA Today gives Georgia an…

81% Chance to Beat the Gators

…so there’s a Chance for the 14.5 Underdog Gators…There’s A Chance…a 19% Chance….which is better than No Damn Chance!

After Georgia and we assume the Gators are going to lose to the Dawgs to drop to 5 – 3 on the season Florida has left to play in 2023 >

Arkansas
At LSU
At Missouri
Florida State

Damn….that looks like 6 – 6 to us…IF the Gators beat Arkansas at home on November 4 and maybe the Hogs will come into Gainesville Playing Like Hellfire (see above) and if somehow Florida lost that game…

What in the Hell is the point of any of this Billy Boy in Gainesville?

Billy Napier CHS Forum

9.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – (Danny Gonzales CHS Forum) – The Lobos got a much needed win over Hawaii in Week 8 to raise their record to 3 – 4 on the season and Danny Gonzales’ drive to get New Mexico to 6 Wins in 2023 which means UNM has GOTTA win 3 of this remaining 5 games >

At Nevada
UNLV
At Boise State
At Fresno State
Utah State

We put the chances of New Mexico winning 3 of its last 5 games at Mighty Low….Very Damn Mighty Low!

Danny Gonzales CHS Forum

10.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – (Dave Aranda CHS Forum) – In a game that Baylor had to have on the road at Cincinnati against the now Hapless Bearcats…the Bears got that much needed win and are now 3 – 4 and have an outside shot at getting to 6 wins in 2023 with these 5 games left to play >

Iowa State
Houston
At Kansas State
At TCU
West Virginia

We would put the chances of Baylor going at least 3 – 2 in their last 5 games at….

33% or so!

…and Baylor and Aranda missing a bowl game trip in Year 4 would be…

Pitiful….Mighty Damn Pitiful!

Dave Aranda CHS Forum

11. Will Hall, Southern Miss – (Will Hall CHS Forum) – Will Hall started…

5 – 3

…in his first 8 games at Southern Miss but since beating Louisiana on October 27, 2022 the Golden Eagles under Hall in their last 12 games have posted a record of…

3 – 9

Oh…USM lost it’s last game to South Alabama by the score of…

55 – 3

It’s not entirely clear to us what has gone wrong at Southern Miss under Hall but the Kid better things figured out and quick because now at 1 – 6 and with the games below left to be played this could get Ugly…Very Ugly!

At Appalachian State
La. Monroe
At Louisiana
At Mississippi State
Troy

Damn…if Southern Miss won more than 1 of their 5 remaining games we be surprised the way they are playing now which will put the folks at Southern Miss in a Helluva Bad Spot come late November especially if they get blasted by Troy at home in the last game of the season!

Will Hall CHS Forum

12.  Brent Pry, Virginia Tech – (Brent Pry CHS Forum) – With the Win over Wake Forest in Week 7 the Virginia Tech Hokies who are now at 3 – 4 on the season are at a crossroads under Head Coach Brent Pry and these last 5 games are Program Setting and Soul Directing Games for the Hokies to see just where this Football Program and Head Coach are going!

Syracuse
At Louisville
At Boston College
NC State
Virginia

No way that Hokies should finish with less than 6 Wins in 2023 in Brent Pry’s 2 nd season in Blacksburg so…

Get Off Your Ass Brent and Don’t Lose to Syracuse this week Son!

Brent Pry CHS Forum

Let’s Play Football!

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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