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Targeting Winners: College Football’s Day of Reckoning

Mark Haines on November 29, 2024

When History Comes Due: College Football’s Day of Reckoning

On the final Saturday of November 2024, college football will remind us why it remains America’s most compelling social experiment. In four different stadiums, eight teams will engage in a ritual that’s equal parts sporting event and psychological warfare. These aren’t just games—they’re settling accounts, tests of collective will, and exercises in mass delusion, where entire states convince themselves that the impossible is probable.

In South Carolina, two programs that share nothing but geography and mutual contempt will try to prove that statistics are just numbers on a page. In Columbus, Ohio State faces the cruel irony of finally getting a vulnerable Michigan team after three years of losses, only to discover that beating a wounded rival might be the most challenging task. In Los Angeles, USC will attempt to salvage a disappointing season by derailing Notre Dame’s playoff dreams, proving once again that nothing satisfies quite like ruining someone else’s perfect ending. And in Eugene, Oregon stands ready to exorcise three years of frustration against a Washington program that’s fallen from national championship contender to cautionary tale in less time than it takes to earn a college degree.

Each of these games carries its own particular strain of madness. Together, they form a perfect case study in how rational human beings – coaches, players, and millions of fans – can convince themselves that history, statistics, and probability are merely suggestions rather than laws. In short, it’s everything that makes college football the most irrational, and therefore most human, of our sports.

The Numbers That Lie: A Tale of Two Programs – South Carolina at Clemson

In the gathering dusk of late November, two football programs circle each other like prizefighters, each convinced they’ve decoded the other’s fatal flaw. The statistics tell one story: Clemson, the higher-ranked team with the more prolific offense, should win this game. But anyone who’s spent time in South Carolina knows that numbers, like the sweet tea served at every diner from Charleston to Greenville, can be deceptive.

The conventional wisdom says Clemson has the edge. Their quarterback, Cade Klubnik, throws for nearly fifty more yards per game than his counterpart. Their offense generates more total yards, touchdowns, and everything that should matter. We could all go home now if football games were played on spreadsheets.

But here’s where it gets interesting.

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Week 9 Featured Games:The Underdogs, the Upsets, and the Unraveling

Mark Haines on October 26, 2024

Step back from the spreadsheets, the power rankings and the expert predictions – Week 9 featured games are about to remind us why we watch this sport in the first place: for the moments that defy logic and rewrite the script.

Early Game

No. 12 Notre Dame vs. No. 24 Navy

Noon Eastern/9:00 AM Pacific

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Coaches Hot Seat is Targeting Winners for Week 9

Mark Haines on October 24, 2024

Think you know college football? Think again. Coaches Hot Seat spends a little time listening to the Targeting Winners Podcast every Friday afternoon during the season. We take our picks and look for the storylines, the upsets, the wins, and the losses to bring you the inside scoop on where the seats are getting hot. We’re not just talking about picking winners but about understanding the why behind the wins. The hidden narratives, the coaching mismatches, the moments that define a season.

The CFB Dudes at Targeting Winners live and breathe this stuff. They break down film, analyze matchups, and find the edges that the casual fan misses. We compare our picks with the Targeting Winner’s intel, and boom!

So buckle up, because we’re about to take you on a wild ride through three games we’ve got our eye on this week. Fans looking for an edge? You’ve come to the right place.

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What We’re Watchin’ Saturday – Week 5 Edition

Mark Haines on September 28, 2024

Early Games

Kentucky at 6 Ole Miss

Game Time: Noon Eastern/9:00 AM Pacific

TV: ABC, ESPN+

Ole Miss is on fire; the Rebels are hotter than a two-dollar pistol. They’re lighting it up, leading the FBS in passing yards, total offense, scoring offense, and scoring defense. Dart’s slinging it like a gunslinger, and the Rebels are putting up video game numbers. But, let’s be honest, they’ve been playing a bunch of cupcakes. That changes this Saturday. Kentucky had Georgia on the ropes, and now they’re coming for Ole Miss. Can Kentucky slow down the Rebels’ high-octane offense? Or will Jaxson Dart and his crew keep this train rolling? This SEC showdown is about to get wild.

20 Oklahoma State at 23 Kansas State

Game Time: Noon Eastern/9:00 AM Pacific

TV: ESPN

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2024 ACC Pre-Season Meeting of the Mascots

Jason Lucero on September 5, 2024

Meeting Minutes:

Duke Blue Devil:

As this year’s chair, I call the meeting to order. The first order of business is to welcome the latest members to the conference, Cal, Stanford, and Southern Methodist University. Then we’ll get onto pending litigation. Put the shillelagh down, Leprechaun. You know our policy on weapons in the committee room.

Notre Dame Leprechaun:

I was fully clothed at the time of the accident! Any allegation to the contrary is slander! It was not a full-size bus. That’s a gross exaggeration. It was a minibus, and I’ll have no witty remarks regarding my stature!

Duke Blue Devil:

Duly noted Leprechaun. The chair recognizes The Demon Deacon of Wake Forest.

Demon Deacon of Wake Forest:

I object to the presence of Cal and Stanford in our conference. Do I have to say it? They’re from the West! The home of sin and perdition. This is the Atlantic Coast Conference. Having Pacific Coast teams among us is wrong! It’s contrary to nature! It’s Blaspheme, that’s what it is!

Hokie Bird of Virginia Tech:

Give it a rest, deacon. You went 4 and 8 last year. Times are changing.

Duke Blue Devil:

The chair recognizes the Clemson Tiger. Thank you for raising your paw.

Clemson Tiger:

Yeah, man. Oski the Bear. I get that—a bear. I’m a tiger, and he’s a bear. But what the hell is going on with Stanford? A tree? You come in here as a tree?

Stanford Tree:

I have googly eyes! I’m both relatable and ironic!

Clemson Tiger:

No man. That’s abstract. You got to be something real. Like a tiger, for example. People understand tigers.

Ramblin’ Reck of Georgia Tech

I’m with Syracuse. Nobody likes concepts. I’m a wreck, a wrecked car. It’s a thing. People like wrecked cars!

Notre Dame Leprechaun

I rest my fecking case.

Duke Blue Devil

Language Leprechaun!

Otto the Orange of Syracuse:

I protest that reasoning! I’m orange! I’m not an orange. I’m not the orange. I’m just orange. I’m a concept. A tree is a concept too! You all need to open your minds!

Duke Blue Devil

6-7 last year Syracuse. You might consider running the ball. The chair recognizes Mrs. Wuf, from North Carolina State.

Mrs. Wuf of NC State

I rise to speak to the issue of academic excellence. Our friends from the west come with august records of academic achievement. Some among us have allowed our standards to lapse.

Osceola and Renegade – Florida State

Here we go again, everyone hating on Florida.

Sebastian the Ibis – University of Miami

Excellence has a price. Sometimes the students have to pay it. That’s all I’m saying.

Duke Blue Devil

Put out the cigar Sebastian. There is no smoking in the committee room! The chair recognizes the Wahoo.

The Wahoo – University of Virginia

Let’s get down to the real issue here, competitiveness. I’m talking TV ratings and NIL. Cash in hand! Daddy needs a new stadium. Who is to say these new teams can run with the ACC?

Duke Blue Devil

Okay. Uh, for Southern Methodist University we have Peruna the Mustang. Can you speak to that question?

Peruna of SMU

Thank you Blue Devil. It’s a pleasure to be here. We went 9-0 last year, and won our division. We deserve to play in the ACC.

The Hokie Bird of Virginia Tech

You were in the AAC! You beat Tulsa, Temple, and the University of East Carolina. If your schedule was any lighter you’d be playing high school teams!

Duke Blue Devil

Settle down everyone! Settle down! Oskie? Any comment?

Oski the Bear – Cal

We’re rebuilding. We have a great team this year and we’re looking forward to returning to the Rose Bowl!

The Hokie Bird of Virginia Tech

The last time you were in the Rose Bowl was 1959. When are you going to be done rebuilding, the year 3000?

Ms. Wuf – North Carolina State.

I find Oski’s cardigan very attractive.

Duke Blue Devil

Ms. Wuf, where is Mr. Wuf today?

Ms. Wuf

We’re exploring our sexuality through an open relationship. He’s up chasing a Husky in Connecticut. Oski? Are you into experimentation?

The Demon Deacon of Wake Forest

Abomination! We cannot have inter-conference, inter-species, intermingling! I object! I object! I object!

Duke Blue Devil.

4 and 8 last season. Maybe a little less from the pulpit and a little more from your backfield. Stanford?

The Stanford Tree

We have twenty Nobel laurites on our faculty!

The Clemson Tiger

You went 3 and 9, second worst in our division!

The Stanford Tree

Our band is extremely unconventional!

Duke Blue Devil

Settle down everyone, settle down! Well, it’s not like we have a choice in the matter. They’re in the conference now and that’s that. Oskie, we’ll give you the last word.

Oski the Bear – Cal

Thank you, thank you. Well, it’s no secret that we miss the Pac- 10. We miss bus rides up and down the coast, playing the other schools in the West as the sun set over the Pacific. I guess the only comfort we can find is that no matter how stupid it is for us to play in the ACC, how illogical, how ridiculous it is… at least Stanford has to do it too.

Duke Blue Devil

Quiet everyone, quiet! Leprechaun! Are you peeing in the closet?

The Leprechaun of Notre Dame

I had a late breakfast.

Duke Blue Devil

Hey Clemson! Florida, and Florida State. Sit down. The meeting isn’t over. Where do you think you’re going?

The Clemson Tiger

The SEC is having a tailgate. We thought we would stop by and do some networking.

Sebastian the Ibis – University of Miami

This is fun and all, but keep one word in mind going forward: “realignment.”

The Duke Blue Devil

Meeting adjourned!

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Hot Seat Inferno: The Miami-Florida Showdown is a Must-Win for Both Coaches

Mark Haines on August 29, 2024

Miami vs. Florida: The Hot Seat Bowl

Week 1 of college football is already shaping up to be a scorcher, and nowhere is the heat more intense than in the Sunshine State. The Miami Hurricanes and Florida Gators are set to collide in what can only be described as the “Hot Seat Bowl.”

Both Mario Cristobal and Billy Napier are feeling the pressure. Cristobal’s homecoming to Miami has been anything but triumphant, while Napier’s Gators are underperforming despite high expectations. A quick glance at their nearly identical records in key metrics paints a grim picture:

0% winning vs rivals: Neither coach has secured a win against their biggest foes.
22% late season wins: Both teams have struggled to finish strong, a sign of potential coaching issues.
Home field advantage?: While Florida boasts a 69.2% winning record at home, Miami’s is a paltry 50%.
Overall winning percentage: Cristobal’s 48% at Miami is slightly better than Napier’s 44% at Florida.

These numbers tell the story of two programs needing a turnaround. For both coaches, this Week 1 matchup is a must-win.

The stakes couldn’t be higher. A loss could accelerate calls for change, while a win might buy precious time and support. Every decision, every play call, will be scrutinized under the intense Florida sun.

Key Matchup: Miami’s RB Henry Parrish Jr. vs. Florida’s QB Graham Mertz. Parrish must carry the load for the Canes, while Mertz must prove he’s the answer for the Gators.

The Burning Question: In this high-stakes game of coaching survival, who will emerge victorious and cool their seat, if only for a week?

The Hot Seat Bowl is about more than just football; it’s about two coaches fighting for their jobs. The pressure is on, the heat is turned up, and the entire college football world will watch.

Georgia vs. Clemson: Reloading vs. Rebounding

Georgia, the defending champs, is looking to keep the dynasty rolling. On the other hand, Clemson is looking to remind everyone they’re still a force to be reckoned with.

Key Matchup: Georgia’s revamped defense vs. Clemson’s offense under coordinator Garrett Riley.

The Burning Question: Can Clemson’s offense keep pace with Georgia’s relentless defense?

LSU vs. USC: A Playoff Preview?

Brian Kelly’s LSU Tigers are rising, and Lincoln Riley’s USC Trojans are always in the spotlight. This clash of powerhouse programs could be a glimpse into the College Football Playoff picture.

Key Matchup: LSU’s QB Garrett Nussmeier vs. USC’s QB Miller Moss. Both quarterbacks are stepping into big shoes, and this game will be their first chance to shine.

The Burning Question: Can USC’s defense, which has been a major focus of offseason improvement, hold up against LSU’s explosive offense?

Notre Dame vs. Texas A&M: Tradition Meets High Expectations

Two storied programs collide in a game that could have profound playoff implications. Notre Dame seeks to build on recent success, while Texas A&M aims for a breakout season under Jimbo Fisher.

Key Matchup: Notre Dame’s new offensive coordinator Mike Denbrock vs. Texas A&M’s talented defense.

The Burning Question: Can Notre Dame’s offense find its rhythm against a tough Aggie defense?

Penn State vs. West Virginia: Upset Alert?

Penn State is a trendy pick to make the playoffs, but West Virginia hopes to crash the party.

Key Matchup: Penn State’s QB Drew Allar vs. West Virginia’s RB CJ Donaldson. Allar needs to lead the Nittany Lions to victory, while Donaldson has to carry the Mountaineers’ offense.

Week 1 is just the beginning, but it could be the end for some coaches. Buckle up; it’s going to be a wild ride!

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Fight On, Forever: Why Cowherd’s Anti-Notre Dame Rant is Pure Nonsense

Mark Haines on June 14, 2024

Colin Cowherd’s recent ramblings about USC ditching Notre Dame are so off base they are comical. The man claims to bleed Cardinal and Gold – that he’s a member of the “Trojan Family,” yet he’s completely out of touch with what matters to the Trojan faithful.

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