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Finally a Friday! – Week 5 Friday Game Preview

Mark Haines on September 27, 2024

Virginia Tech at Miami: A Hurricane Brewing in the ACC

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2024 ACC Pre-Season Meeting of the Mascots

Jason Lucero on September 5, 2024

Meeting Minutes:

Duke Blue Devil:

As this year’s chair, I call the meeting to order. The first order of business is to welcome the latest members to the conference, Cal, Stanford, and Southern Methodist University. Then we’ll get onto pending litigation. Put the shillelagh down, Leprechaun. You know our policy on weapons in the committee room. 

Notre Dame Leprechaun:

I was fully clothed at the time of the accident! Any allegation to the contrary is slander!  It was not a full-size bus. That’s a gross exaggeration. It was a minibus, and I’ll have no witty remarks regarding my stature!

Duke Blue Devil:

Duly noted Leprechaun. The chair recognizes The Demon Deacon of Wake Forest.

Demon Deacon of Wake Forest:

I object to the presence of Cal and Stanford in our conference.  Do I have to say it? They’re from the West! The home of sin and perdition. This is the Atlantic Coast Conference.  Having Pacific Coast teams among us is wrong! It’s contrary to nature! It’s Blaspheme, that’s what it is!

Hokie Bird of Virginia Tech:

Give it a rest, deacon. You went 4 and 8 last year. Times are changing.

Duke Blue Devil:

The chair recognizes the Clemson Tiger.  Thank you for raising your paw.

Clemson Tiger:

Yeah, man. Oski the Bear. I get that—a bear. I’m a tiger, and he’s a bear. But what the hell is going on with Stanford?  A tree? You come in here as a tree?

Stanford Tree:

I have googly eyes! I’m both relatable and ironic!

Clemson Tiger:

No man. That’s abstract. You got to be something real. Like a tiger, for example. People understand tigers.

Ramblin’ Reck of Georgia Tech

I’m with Syracuse. Nobody likes concepts. I’m a wreck, a wrecked car. It’s a thing. People like wrecked cars!

Notre Dame Leprechaun

I rest my fecking case.

Duke Blue Devil

Language Leprechaun!

Otto the Orange of Syracuse:

I protest that reasoning! I’m orange! I’m not an orange. I’m not the orange. I’m just orange.  I’m a concept. A tree is a concept too! You all need to open your minds!

Duke Blue Devil

6-7 last year Syracuse. You might consider running the ball. The chair recognizes Mrs. Wuf, from North Carolina State.

Mrs. Wuf of NC State

I rise to speak to the issue of academic excellence. Our friends from the west come with august records of academic achievement.  Some among us have allowed our standards to lapse.

Osceola and Renegade  – Florida State

     Here we go again, everyone hating on Florida.

Sebastian the Ibis – University of Miami

Excellence has a price. Sometimes the students have to pay it. That’s all I’m saying.

Duke Blue Devil

Put out the cigar Sebastian. There is no smoking in the committee room! The chair recognizes the Wahoo.

The Wahoo – University of Virginia

Let’s get down to the real issue here, competitiveness.  I’m talking TV ratings and NIL. Cash in hand! Daddy needs a new stadium. Who is to say these new teams can run with the ACC?

Duke Blue Devil

Okay. Uh, for Southern Methodist University we have Peruna the Mustang. Can you speak to that question?

Peruna of SMU

Thank you Blue Devil. It’s a pleasure to be here. We went 9-0 last year, and won our division. We deserve to play in the ACC.  

The Hokie Bird of Virginia Tech

You were in the AAC! You beat Tulsa, Temple, and the University of East Carolina.  If your schedule was any lighter you’d be playing high school teams!

Duke Blue Devil

Settle down everyone!  Settle down! Oskie? Any comment? 

Oski the Bear – Cal

We’re rebuilding. We have a great team this year and we’re looking forward to returning to the Rose Bowl!

The Hokie Bird of Virginia Tech

The last time you were in the Rose Bowl was 1959. When are you going to be done rebuilding, the year 3000?

Ms. Wuf – North Carolina State.

     I find Oski’s cardigan very attractive.

Duke Blue Devil

Ms. Wuf, where is Mr. Wuf today?

Ms. Wuf

We’re exploring our sexuality through an open relationship. He’s up chasing a Husky in Connecticut. Oski? Are you into experimentation?

The Demon Deacon of Wake Forest

Abomination! We cannot have inter-conference, inter-species, intermingling! I object! I object! I object!

Duke Blue Devil.

4 and 8 last season. Maybe a little less from the pulpit and a little more from your backfield. Stanford?

The Stanford Tree

We have twenty Nobel laurites on our faculty!

The Clemson Tiger

You went 3 and 9, second worst in our division!

The Stanford Tree

Our band is extremely unconventional!

Duke Blue Devil

Settle down everyone, settle down!  Well, it’s not like we have a choice in the matter. They’re in the conference now and that’s that.  Oskie, we’ll give you the last word.

Oski the Bear – Cal

Thank you, thank you. Well, it’s no secret that we miss the Pac- 10.  We miss bus rides up and down the coast, playing the other schools in the West as the sun set over the Pacific. I guess the only comfort we can find is that no matter how stupid it is for us to play in the ACC, how illogical, how ridiculous it is… at least Stanford has to do it too.

Duke Blue Devil

Quiet everyone, quiet! Leprechaun! Are you peeing in the closet?

The Leprechaun of Notre Dame

I had a late breakfast.

Duke Blue Devil

Hey Clemson! Florida, and Florida State. Sit down. The meeting isn’t over. Where do you think you’re going?

The Clemson Tiger

The SEC is having a tailgate.  We thought we would stop by and do some networking.

Sebastian the Ibis – University of Miami

This is fun and all, but keep one word in mind going forward: “realignment.” 

The Duke Blue Devil

Meeting adjourned!

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Swamp of Despair Puts Napier in the Top Hot Seat

Mark Haines on September 3, 2024

1. Billy Napier, Florida

Let’s dive into the swampy mess that is the Florida Gators football program under Billy Napier. I’m not one to sugarcoat things, so let’s call it like it is: Napier is knee-deep in the muck, and the hot seat is scorching his backside.

The 41-17 beatdown by Miami? Embarrassing. Napier himself said it. And after two-plus seasons, a dismal 11-15 record ain’t cutting it in Gainesville. The lack of progress is glaring, fans are bailing on games early, and even the legendary Steve Spurrier is publicly questioning Napier’s approach.

Let’s face it, Year 3 is judgment time for any coach, and Napier is failing the test. The Gators look lost, undisciplined, and, frankly, uninspired. The offense is sputtering, the defense is porous, and the special teams are, well, “special” in all the wrong ways.

Napier has a hefty buyout, and Florida’s leadership might be hesitant to pull the trigger. But when the program’s ambassador calls for change and fans threaten to stay home, the pressure is mounting.

Napier’s got a tough road ahead. The schedule doesn’t get any easier, and the vultures are circling. He needs to pull a rabbit out of his hat and fast. Otherwise, his tenure in the Swamp might be coming to an unceremonious end.

Can Napier turn this ship around? It’s possible, but the odds are stacked against him. The Gators need a spark, a jolt of energy, and a whole lot of wins. If Napier can’t deliver, well, it might be time for Florida to start looking for a new captain to navigate these treacherous waters.

The clock is ticking, Billy. The hot seat is burning. It’s time to show us what you’re made of.

2. Shane Beamer, South Carolina

The air in Columbia crackles with nervous energy, a far cry from the jubilant anticipation that typically heralds a new season. South Carolina fans are on edge. The wounds of the 2023 season—a dismal 3-5 in the SEC, a humbling 5-7 overall, and the bitter sting of missing a bowl game—still fester. The echoes of boos raining down on their team in the season opener against Old Dominion haunt their collective memory. Social media, a relentless digital amphitheater, reverberates with their discontent.

Shane Beamer, the man at the helm, feels the weight of their expectations bearing down on him. He occupies the precarious #2 spot on the Coaches Hot Seat List, a stark reminder that the honeymoon phase is over. Two promising seasons to start his tenure bought him goodwill, but last year’s regression has everyone questioning his leadership. The brutal reality of college football is that winning isn’t enough in the SEC; you must consistently compete at the highest level. Right now, South Carolina is falling short.

The pressure is immense. Beamer must orchestrate a dramatic turnaround, and he must do it now. He must prove that 2023 was an anomaly, not a harbinger of decline. He must demonstrate his ability to recruit, develop, and win in the most unforgiving conference in college football. He must guide the Gamecocks back to a bowl game and achieve this feat this year.

The clock is ticking. The fans, the boosters, the administration—all eyes are on him. Every game, every play, every decision will be dissected and analyzed. Beamer’s future at South Carolina hangs precariously in the balance.

Yet, amidst the storm clouds, a glimmer of hope remains. Beamer has tasted victory; he has laid a foundation. Now, he must build upon it. He must prove that he is not simply a capable coach but the visionary leader this program needs to reclaim its former glory. He must silence the doubters and etch his name in South Carolina football lore.

The 2024 season is a crucible. It is a chance for redemption, to defy expectations, and to script a new chapter in the Gamecocks’ storied history. The question hangs heavy in the air: Can Shane Beamer rise to the occasion? Can he navigate the treacherous waters of the SEC and lead his team back to the promised land?

The stage is set. The stakes are high. The spotlight is on. It’s time for Shane Beamer to show the world what he’s made of.

3. Dave Aranda, Baylor

Dave Aranda’s the defensive mastermind who brought Baylor a surprise Big 12 title in 2021. But last year’s offensive struggles were like watching paint dry. With the Big 12 expanding and the competition fiercer, Aranda’s feeling the heat.

He’s not one to panic, though. Aranda’s a thinker, a “Professor,” as they call him, constantly analyzing, always strategizing. This season, he’s taking back the reins of the defense, calling the plays himself, just like he did during LSU’s national championship run. It’s a bold move, a statement that he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty.

On offense, there’s a new sheriff in town: Jake Spavital. He’s bringing an up-tempo scheme and has some new weapons to play with, including transfer QB Dequan Finn and speedy receiver Ashtyn Hawkins. The offensive line has been bolstered with transfers, too, so there’s hope for a more balanced attack.

But let’s be honest. Aranda’s bread and butter is defense. He’s built a reputation for shutting down opponents, and Baylor needs to get back to that. If the defense can regain its swagger and the offense can find some rhythm, the Bears could surprise some folks.

Aranda is a coach who’s always stayed true to himself, even as the college football landscape has shifted dramatically. He’s embraced NIL and the transfer portal but has returned to his roots as a defensive play-caller. It’s a gamble, but it could pay off big time.

The pressure’s on in Waco, but Aranda’s not backing down. He’s got a plan, he’s got the experience, and he’s got the passion. The Bears might be underdogs this year but don’t count them out. Aranda’s got a few tricks up his sleeve, and he’s ready to prove that he’s still one of the best in the business.

4. Sam Pittman, Arkansas

Sam Pittman’s story at Arkansas combines heartwarming nostalgia and high-stakes pressure. He’s like the beloved hometown hero who returned to coach his alma mater, bringing back some of that good ol’ fashioned Razorback pride. But sentimentality only gets you so far in the cutthroat world of SEC football.

Pittman’s 21-17 record is respectable, but it’s not enough to silence the critics in the SEC. Losses to rivals like LSU and Texas A&M sting deep, and the departure of star quarterback KJ Jefferson leaves a gaping hole in the offense. The pressure is on Pittman to prove he can develop a new quarterback and keep the Razorbacks’ momentum rolling, which is a daunting task he’s fully aware of.

In a bold move that raised eyebrows across college football, Pittman brought back Bobby Petrino as offensive coordinator. It’s a high-risk, high-reward gamble that has the entire football community on edge. Petrino’s a brilliant offensive mind, but his past transgressions at Arkansas are still fresh in many people’s minds. Pittman’s betting that Petrino’s expertise can revitalize the offense and propel the Razorbacks to new heights.

The Hogs faithful are hungry for success, and Pittman knows it. He’s not afraid of the hot seat and will make tough decisions to win. As he puts it, “I want to win. I don’t care about all the rest of it.”

Pittman has the support of his athletic director, a talented roster, and a new offensive coordinator with a point to prove. The 2024 season will be a defining one for Pittman and the Razorbacks. It’s a season filled with anticipation and excitement, as it will determine the team’s future. Will they rise to the occasion and make a statement in the SEC? Or will the pressure prove too much, leading to another chapter of disappointment in Fayetteville?

The stage is set, the players are ready, and the drama unfolds. Stay tuned to Coaches Hot Seat as we track Sam Pittman’s high-stakes gamble in the heart of SEC country.

5. Brent Pry, Virginia Tech

Saturday’s loss by Virginia Tech to Vanderbilt wasn’t just a loss; it was a full-blown coaching meltdown, a symphony of errors and indiscipline that has left Virginia Tech reeling and Brent Pry teetering on the edge of oblivion. The Hokies, favored by 13.5 points, were not just beaten; they were embarrassed, outplayed, and outcoached in their own house.

But the final score was merely a symptom of a deeper malaise. The two players sharing the same jersey number on the field wasn’t just a blunder; it was a glaring indictment of a program in disarray, a coaching staff asleep at the wheel. It’s the kind of mistake that makes you question the competence of everyone involved.

Then there’s the childish name-calling, the “poor man’s Trace McSorley” taunt hurled at Vanderbilt’s quarterback. It’s not just disrespectful; it’s a sign of a team that’s lost its way, a group of players who think they’re better than they are. It’s the kind of arrogance that fuels the underdog and comes back to bite you in the ass.

And bite it did. Vanderbilt, motivated and focused, exposed every crack in Virginia Tech’s foundation. They exploited the lack of discipline, the lack of preparation, and the lack of leadership. They made Pry’s Hokies look like a JV squad, a team devoid of identity and purpose.

This isn’t a one-off; it’s a pattern. Pry’s tenure at Virginia Tech has been a slow-motion train wreck, a series of missed opportunities and unfulfilled promises. The same issues keep cropping up: undisciplined players, lackluster preparation, and an inability to maximize the talent on the roster.

The fans are fed up. The alumni are embarrassed. The media is sharpening its knives. Pry’s seat isn’t just hot; it’s melting. He’s lost the locker room, he’s lost the fanbase, and he’s lost the benefit of the doubt.

The Hokies deserve better. They deserve a coach who can instill discipline, inspire confidence, and lead them to greatness. Right now, Brent Pry is the antithesis of that. He’s the captain of a sinking ship, and unless he can plug the leaks and change course, he’ll be remembered not as the savior of Virginia Tech football, but as the one who ran it aground.

Full Ranking List Here: https://coacheshotseat.com/

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