Daily Archive: December 1, 2015

Post Week 13 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 20 Hot Seat Head Coaches – The Regular Season Is Now Over Johnny Cash and the Millionaire Coaches Are on the Firing Line….This Is No Time To Let Up….Keep Giving Them Hell Mr. Cash!


A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

The Regular Season Is Now Over Johnny Cash and the Millionaire Coaches Are on the Firing Line….This Is No Time To Let Up….Keep Giving Them Hell Mr. Cash!

Post Week 13 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings


11.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Kent State completed their 2015 season on Saturday with a 20 – 0 loss to Akron which is the Flashes FIFTH straight loss to end the season which saw head coach Paul Haynes football team post records of…

3 – 9 overall

2 – 6 in MAC play

….and after THREE seasons at Kent State Paul Haynes has records on the board of…

Overall:  9 – 26

MAC:  6 – 17

The above records by Haynes are especially shocking to us because Haynes took over a Kent State football team that won…

11 Games in 2012

…and they have won a total of only 9 football games the last THREE seasons!

Now that is a Helluva drop-off and why Paul Haynes is on the Hot Seat BUT we haven’t a clue if LOSING like this is tolerated at Kent State or not in this…

Age of the Candy Asses

…..where the sports media exists mainly to…

Kiss the Asses of Players and Coaches

….and 5 – 7 football teams can go to bowl games!

Got the Decline and Fall of the American Republic?


12.  Ron Turner, Florida International – Ron Turner took over the FIU football program before the 2013 college football season after the mystifying firing of the last FIU head coach Mario Cristobal who in his last THREE seasons coaching the Golden Panthers won…

18 Football Games

….and in the last THREE seasons Ron Turner as the head coach at FIU has won…

10 Football Games

….so naturally Ron Turner is still the head coach at FIU because…

We live in the Age of the Candy Asses

…where Up is Down…Average is Great….and Les Miles can have a record of…

10 – 10 in his last 20 SEC games against teams with .500 or better records


….and hang onto his job which may be the most ABSURD thing we have heard of in recent times beyond that the trace gas CO2 which is…

400 Parts Per Million in the Earth’s Atmosphere

CO2Total1 (1)

….actually controls temperatures on the Earth and causes “Climate Change” which is Complete Horseshit to anyone that has taken and passed Physics 101 in college which we would say 99% of the Idiots that believe in Bogus “Climate Change” HAVE NOT DONE and COULD NOT DO on the very best Damn day of their lives!  

Memo to the Bogus Climate Change Whack Jobs:  The Earth’s Climate has ALWAYS Been-A-Changing and will still Be-A-Changing Long After Pitiful Human Beings Are Gone From The Earth Entirely and No Longer Remembered in the Universe


Getting back to Ron Turner we haven’t a Damn clue why he was hired at FIU nor a Damn clue why he is still the head coach at FIU but we do know we are living in the…

Age of the Candy Asses!

Yes…we know that for Damn sure!


13.  Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State – No one here at Coaches Hot Seat has a Damn clue why after posting a record of…

20 – 6

….in his first TWO years at Fresno State that now Tim DeRuyter has posted a record of…

9 – 17

….in his last TWO years at Fresno State BUT something is going on in River City…make that Fresno, California and what that “something” is it ain’t good as they would say in the South!

Consider this for a moment….in Tim DeRuyter’s FOURTH season at Fresno State his football team posted a 3 – 9 record and got wins over…

Abilene Christian

….with the UNLV game barely won over a team with a first-year head coach and Hawaii having already fired its head coach and as for Abilene Christian….No Damn Big Whoop winning that game!

Please…someone tell us what has happened at Fresno State since 2013 when Tim DeRuyter had a football team that won 11 football games only two years ago and WON the Mountain West Conference Title and in 2015 the Bulldogs were barely able to win…

3 Football Games!

Sorry…there is a PROBLEM at Fresno State of some kind and if we had the time we would drive up to Fresno and go all Jim Rockford on the program and figure out what that PROBLEM is but alas we don’t have the time for that even though it would be great fun BUT for Damn sure Tim DeRuyter better fix that PROBLEM whatever the Hell it is or he is going to be out of a head coaching job and will be Damn lucky to get another head coaching job on the FBS level anytime in the future if he is fired at Fresno State.

Just us…if we are Tim DeRuyter we are moving a bed into the office and not going home until the 2016 season is over…but that’s just us!


14.  Gary Andersen, Oregon State – A Coaches Hot Seat member took some time at lunch on Monday and watched the entire Oregon State – Oregon game again and noticed the following things compared to the way the Beavers were playing in recent weeks….

“Maybe it was the Civil War Game but Oregon State looked a lot more focused and motivated than they have in recent weeks in playing against the Ducks and maybe there has been a slight change in Gary Andersen’s approach but whatever is going on in Corvallis it was a positive game for Andersen and his football team.”

Whatever the Hell is going on inside the Oregon State football team right now we know that it’s going to be very hard for Gary Andersen to get to even SIX wins in the next TWO football seasons because of the toughness of the Pac-12 Conference overall and thus that is why we are going to set a benchmark for Gary Andersen to try and hit…

It will be an AMAZING coaching job by Gary Andersen and his assistant coaches if…

Oregon State wins 5 or more games in 2016

Oregon State wins 6 or more games in 2017


In our opinion…Gary Andersen really needs to find a way to get Oregon State to FOUR wins minimum in 2016 after winning TWO games in 2015.

Good Luck Gary Andersen!


15.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming – Talk about a Helluva tough situation….

Wyoming head coach Craig Bohl has now completed TWO seasons on the job and has posted records of…

Overall:  6 – 18

MWC:  4 – 12

….and we try to imagine ourselves sitting in the Cowboys head coach’s office in Laramie, Wyoming and thinking…

How in the Hell I am going to turn this thing around NEXT YEAR meaning in 2016?

In our opinion a turnaround will all come down to….MOTIVATION…meaning how MOTIVATED are the Wyoming players to do the hard workouts in the offseason, do the necessary practicing on their own, do all the things between now and when camp opens up in August 2016 to be the best players they can possibly be and then work like Hell in Fall camp and be ready to play when they host…

Northern Illinois in September 3, 2016 in Laramie

….and then more importantly travel to Lincoln, Nebraska to play the…

Nebraska Cornhuskers on September 10, 2016

…which in our opinion is a game where the Wyoming head coach Craig Bohl should be on the other sideline as the head coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers.

It will be fascinating to see how hungry the Wyoming players and coaches are to get ready for the 2016 season and how they come out against Northern Illinois next September which will show a lot since NIU should be bringing back a very good football team and Wyoming would thus have a chance to knock of a very good football team at home in an effort to get things turned around in Laramie!

Good Luck Craig Bohl!


16.  Jeff Monken, Army – With Army now sitting on a record in 2015 of…

2 – 9

…and only Navy left to play which is probably the BEST football team Army will play this season it’s beginning to look like Jeff Monken is also going to FAIL in getting things straightened out with the Army Football program and that’s a Damn shame because that would be TWO straight very good football coaches…

Rich Ellerson
Jeff Monken

…..who have FAILED at Army…..that is if Jeff Monken cannot get things turned around at West Point in the next year or so at most.

We wish there is something we could write in this spot on what Jeff Monken or the folks at West Point should or could do in this spot to get Army Football turned around but the Honest Damn Truth is…

We Don’t Have A Damn Clue

And that’s just a Damn Shame!


17.  Ron Caragher, San Jose State – Here’s our basic theory on football coaches that take over DECENT football programs and for Damn sure Ron Caragher took over a DECENT football program at San Jose State from Mike MacIntyre before the 2013 season:

The first year is a wash but if you are taking over a DECENT football program then the team shouldn’t collapse and in Ron Caragher’s first year at SJSU his football team posted a record of 6 – 6 which is Pretty Good.

In the second year the team should improve at least SLIGHTLY and should play better overall after a coach has had two full Spring Practices and Fall Camps to get his system in and in Ron Caragher’s second year at SJSU his football team posted a record of 3 – 9 which frankly…Sucks!

In the third year the football team should show more improvement and should start looking like a team that is getting better each time it practices and plays a game since a head coach will have had THREE Spring Practices and Fall Camps and thus there are NO EXCUSES and in Ron Caragher’s third year at SJSU his football team posted a record of 5 – 7 which is in our opinion is…Below Average….of what…

San Jose State Football SHOULD be in Ron Caragher’s THIRD year at the school after taking over a DECENT football team if not a Helluva lot better than DECENT!

Is it really too much to ask for a football team to look like it’s a better playing and coached team in Year Three over a head coach’s First Year on the job?

Hell No and as we watched San Jose State play in 2015 it looked like to us the Spartans have regressed from Ron Caragher’s first year on the job in 2013 and that kind of thing makes us go…

Just What in the Hell is going on here…meaning at San Jose State?


Well…we did a little digging….in San Jose over the last few days when there were several Coaches Hot Seat members in the Bay area for the Notre Dame – Stanford game and from that digging along with reading stories like this one for Jon Wilner of the San Jose Mercury News…

San Jose State football: Coach Ron Caragher’s return, Jon Wilner, San Jose Mercury News

….we have come to the conclusion that the THINGS that coaches do to build and sustain winning college football programs are just NOT happening under Ron Caragher and that unless something changes 2016 will be a Helluva lot like 2015 when the Spartans basically beat….

No Team of Substance…PERIOD.

That’s our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and seeing and hearing what we saw and heard in the last few days if we were the AD at San Jose State we would be…

Lighting A Fire Under Ron Caragher’s Ass

…and putting him on notice that his job is now day-to-day and if he is not working his ass off every day between now and Signing Day in February we might just fire his ass then because Mediocrity is just flat-out…

NOT Going To Be Tolerated With the San Jose State Football Team…PERIOD.

Unfortunately in our opinion….most of the folks in San Jose State Athletics are Dead Asleep and/or Asleep at the Switch whichever phrase floats your boat and that being Asleep has led Ron Caragher to conclude that he can just float along and keep his job even if not posting .500 or better records coaching the Spartans.

Sorry that party is about to end above Ron Caragher’s ass and work its way down to Ron unless the folks in San Jose State Athletics start working like the House is on Fire and burning down around them instead of the Continuous Siestas they are on now….in our humble opinion of course!

Oh…the handful of folks here at Coaches Hot Seat with degrees from San Jose State University after hearing the report on what a few Coaches Hot Seat members had found in around the SJSU Athletics Department and Football Team are…

Getting on the Phone and starting to call people and chewing some ass in the process so take that for what it’s worth.


18.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – New Mexico State lost to Arkansas State on Saturday which dropped the Aggies records in 2015 down to….

3 – 8 overall

3 – 4 in Sun Belt play

…and NMSU head coach Doug Martin’s records in THREE years at the school now stand at…

Overall: 7 – 28

Sun Belt: 4 – 11

…..and we would classify that as BAD but we don’t have a Freaking Clue what the folks at New Mexico State think about it but for Damn sure those are Hot Seat-like numbers and that is where Doug Martin now sits….

On the Hot Seat!


19.  David Beaty, Kansas – With the loss to Kansas State on Saturday the Mighty Kansas Jayhawks finished under first-year head coach David Beaty with a record of….

0 – 12

…..and against the 11 FBS teams Kansas played and lost to they lost by an average of…..

33.4 Points Per Game!

Sorry…even if we are talking about Kansas Football and even if we are talking about David Beaty taking over a Complete Freaking Disaster from that Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Charlie Weis at Kansas we have to wonder….

Can David Beaty turn this thing around?

….or should the AD at Kansas realize he has a Big 12 job that is a very Damn valuable commodity in the coaching world today that will require and demand in our opinion an…

Experienced Head Football Coach

….to turn things around and thus fire Beaty TODAY :and go hire an…

Experienced Head Football Coach

…before ANOTHER college football season is lost at Kansas?

Frankly if we were made AD at Kansas tomorrow from what we saw of Kansas in 2015 we would tell David Beaty….

“Thanks son, but we are going in a different direction and your services are no longer required at the University of Kansas.”

….and we would go out and hire an….

Experienced Head Football Coach!

For some reason Macbeth comes to mind when thinking of some of the IDIOT decisions make by Athletic Directors across America including the AD at Kansas Sheahon Zenger who has now hired TWO football coaches in Charlie Weis and David Beaty who have posted a Combined Record over the past FOUR football seasons of…

6 – 34!

Please…how is Sheahon Zenger still employed as the AD at the University of Kansas…anyone?

Macbeth: Scene V

“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”

Yep..Signifying Nothing and Just Damn Idiocy at the University of Kansas!


20.  Dave Clawson, Wake Forest – When Dave Clawson was hired to succeed Jim Grobe at Wake Forest after the 2013 season we had our doubts BUT Clawson had decent records as the head coach at Fordham and Richmond followed by a Complete Freaking Disaster in his one season as the offensive coordinator at Tennessee when a sputtering Vols offense basically cost Phil Fulmer his job in Knoxville BUT AGAIN from what we have seen of Wake Forest the last TWO seasons under Dave Clawson who has posted records of…

Overall:  6 – 18

ACC:  2 – 14

…we have some serious Damn doubts if Clawson can even turn Wake Forest into a 6 – 6 football program forget about actually doing something in the ACC.

If it had been us as the AD at Wake Forest we would have hired an experienced head coach….probably from the MAC or FCS Division….that threw the football around and scored a lot of points and ran a very Damn easy to understand and run offense which is NOT Dave Clawson’s offense in our opinion and yet…

Dave Clawson is the Head Football Coach at Wake Forest

….and has TWO wins in the ACC in TWO seasons on the job!

Oh the Damn Idiocy!

We are thinking that a MANDATORY course for ALL FBS Athletic Directors that they should be required to take and pass before becoming an AD on the FBS level should be….

Freaking Damn Common Sense 101!

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Tuesday, December 1, 2015 – Herman Melville



“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.”


“It is not down in any map; true places never are.”


“Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.”


“I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge.”


“There are some persons in this world, who, unable to give better proof of being wise, take a strange delight in showing what they think they have sagaciously read in mankind by uncharitable suspicions of them.”


“There is no dignity in wickedness, whether in purple or rags; and hell is a democracy of devils, where all are equals.”


“There are times when even the most potent governor must wink at transgression, in order to preserve the laws inviolate for the future.”


“Is there some principal of nature which states that we never know the quality of what we have until it is gone?”


“Truth uncompromisingly told will always have its ragged edges.”


“It is impossible to talk or to write without apparently throwing oneself helplessly open.”


“To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.”


“There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself.”


“A smile is the chosen vehicle of all ambiguities.”


“A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things.”


“Friendship at first sight, like love at first sight, is said to be the only truth.”


“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.”


“Heaven have mercy on us all – Presbyterians and Pagans alike – for we are all somehow dreadfully cracked about the head, and sadly need mending.”


“He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great.”


“There is one knows not what sweet mystery about this sea, whose gently awful stirrings seem to speak of some hidden soul beneath.”


“There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke.”


“Truth is the silliest thing under the sun. Try to get a living by the Truth and go to the Soup Societies. Heavens! Let any clergyman try to preach the Truth from its very stronghold, the pulpit, and they would ride him out of his church on his own pulpit bannister.”


“They talk of the dignity of work. The dignity is in leisure.”


“Know, thou, that the lines that live are turned out of a furrowed brow.”


“At sea a fellow comes out. Salt water is like wine, in that respect.”


“In this world, shipmates, sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without passport; whereas Virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers.”


“Hope is the struggle of the soul, breaking loose from what is perishable, and attesting her eternity.”


“To be hated cordially, is only a left-handed compliment.”


“To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme. No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be that have tried it.”


“Yet habit – strange thing! What cannot habit accomplish?”


“A whale ship was my Yale College and my Harvard.”


“There is sorrow in the world, but goodness too; and goodness that is not greenness, either, no more than sorrow is.”


“Whatever fortune brings, don’t be afraid of doing things.”


“He piled upon the whale’s white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it.”


“Truth is in things, and not in words.”


“Faith, like a jackal, feeds among the tombs, and even from these dead doubts she gathers her most vital hope.”


“There is all of the difference in the world between paying and being paid.”


“There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method.”


“There is something wrong about the man who wants help. There is somewhere a deep defect, a want, in brief, a need, a crying need, somewhere about that man.”


“Let us speak, though we show all our faults and weaknesses, – for it is a sign of strength to be weak, to know it, and out with it – not in a set way and ostentatiously, though, but incidentally and without premeditation.”


“Toil is man’s allotment; toil of brain, or toil of hands, or a grief that’s more than either, the grief and sin of idleness.”


“Familiarity with danger makes a brave man braver, but less daring. Thus with seamen: he who goes the oftenest round Cape Horn goes the most circumspectly.”


“We Americans are the peculiar, chosen people — the Israel of our time; we bear the ark of the liberties of the world.”


“It is better to fail in originality, than to succeed in imitation. He who has never failed somewhere, that man can not be great. Failure is the true test of greatness.”


“It is hard to be finite upon an infinite subject, and all subjects are infinite.”


“I have no objection to any person’s religion, be it what it may, so long as that person does not kill or insult any other person, because that other person don’t believe it also. But when a man’s religion becomes really frantic; when it is a positive torment to him; and, in fine, makes this earth of ours an uncomfortable inn to lodge in; then I think it high time to take that individual aside and argue the point with him.”


“Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed.”


“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.”


“As for me, I am tormented with an everlasting itch for things remote. I love to sail forbidden seas, and land on barbarous coasts.”


“I try all things, I achieve what I can.”


“Ignorance is the parent of fear.”


“Top-heavy was the ship as a dinnerless student with all Aristotle in his head.”


“All men live enveloped in whale-lines. All are born with halters round their necks; but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life. And if you be a philosopher, though seated in the whale-boat, you would not at heart feel one whit more of terror, than though seated before your evening fire with a poker, and not a harpoon, by your side.”

Wikipedia: Herman Melville