Tag Archive: Mario Cristobal

Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Bozo the Clown

November 20, 2023 0 Comments

 

Where Oh Where do these College Football Weeks and Life in General go these days we don’t know but Week 12 of the 2023 College Football Season is in the books and with that let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Lincoln Riley, USC – One would think in Lincoln Riley’s 26 th game as the Head Coach of the Mighty USC Trojans that the USC program would be ROLLING and we mean whipping the Hell outta folks but actually in that 26 th game against cross-town rival UCLA Riley’s team…

Didn’t even show-up and didn’t seem to ever care that there was a football game on Saturday!

How in Hell exactly can your ass be making over $10M a year and you cannot get your football team ready and motivated to play your biggest rival UCLA?

That’s Is Lincoln Riley’s Only Damn Job and Riley has Totally Failed in his Only Damn Job and if we were the AD at USC we would have fired Riley’s ass on the field right after the game and when it comes to Worthless Arrogant Bastards like Riley who hasn’t worked…

1 Damn Day of his Life in the Real World

…if the Boy is not getting his ass kissed by everyone 24/7 365….think the Dabo Swinney of the West Coast…then in our opinion USC is not going to get…

Damn Anything from Riley from here on out so you might as well run his ass now…or run it one year from today!

In his last 14 games at USC Lincoln Riley is…

7 – 7

…and the Trojans could have easily lost to…

Colorado
Arizona
California

…this season and be looking at a Losing Record in Riley’s second year on the job when many had the Trojans going undefeated in Year 2 of the Riley regime!

Everyone with a 2+ IQ knew that after the 2022 season that USC had to fix their Defense and what does Riley do to address that issue?

Not One Damn Thing leaving Alex Grinch in charge who he had to fire during the season to at least show his ass was doing something but this goes much deeper than just the USC Defense being a Total Disaster because the Trojans Football Team…

Did Not Give 1 Damn Rip about playing against UCLA on Saturday

…and for that Riley’s ass should have already been fired and given 30 minutes to get everything cleared-out and off the USC campus!

We wrote and said and Tweeted and told anyone that would listen for years that Clay Helton was a Total Disaster and was going to Destroy USC Football if allowed to hang around coaching the Trojans but after his first full 2 seasons on the job as the Head Coach at USC Helton’s record was..

21 – 6

Lincoln Riley’s record after 2 seasons with a bowl game left…

18 – 8

In Year 3 Clay Helton went 5 – 7 and Clay had a Helluva Lot More coming back to play for the Trojans in Year 3 than what Riley has coming back in 2024 and…wait for it…

USC is headed into the Big Ten Conference!

USC’s 2024 Football Schedule >

LSU – Las Vegas
Utah State
At Michigan
Wisconsin
At Minnesota
Penn State
At Maryland
Rutgers
At Washington
Nebraska
At UCLA
Notre Dame

How many games you think the USC is gonna win next season realizing now that…

The USC Football Team has already Totally Quit on Lincoln Riley in 2023!

Got another 5, 6, or 7 win season?

That is why Lincoln Riley should be fired TODAY before this gets worse….a Helluva Lot Worse!

2.  Tom Allen, Indiana – With Indiana’s loss to Michigan State at home on Saturday that leaves the Hoosiers record in 2023 at…

3 – 8

…and Allen’s Records at IU now at >

Overall:  33 – 48
Big Ten:  18 – 42

Tom took Indiana to 2 seasons of .500+ football and 2 bowl games in 7 years on the job which is….

Below Average

…because we would expect that to be 3 to 4 .500+ seasons at IU in 7 years and really now that’s enough said on this matter and we wish Tom all the luck in the world in the future….at Indiana or elsewhere!

3.  Sam Pittman, Arkansas – It was announced on Sunday that Sam Pittman will be back to coach the Razorbacks in 2024 and Good For Sam who was asked after the Hogs win over FIU about his job status with Sam basically saying…

Talking about me being fired isn’t great for recruiting

…which is of course why Head Football Coaches need to…

Win Some Damn Football Games!

…and then no one will ask your ass about your job status!

In 4 seasons at Arkansas Pittman has posted records of…

Overall:  23 – 24
SEC:  11 – 22

…which we would put in the Average category which ain’t gonna make anyone happy in the State of Arkansas because who in the Hell likes Average As Hell anyway?

No one and on that particular issue we have a good buddy who lives in Texarkana, Arkansas who we been going fishing with when we in that part of the world for 25+ years now and this Ole Boy could buy and sell most folks in Arkansas outside of the Waltons in less than 15 minutes and that Ole Boy had a very astute comment on Sam Pittman after Sam got a new contract from Arkansas >

“Sam has lost a little of his fire since he got that big new contract. Can’t say I blame him, but there’s definitely less want-to with Sam than there has been in the past.”

We would agree with that statement and now given another year on the job it’s up to Sam to get the Hogs back to at least Above Average forgetting about Great or Awesome but the 2024 Arkansas schedule is a bear for sure…with SEC Game dates not set yet >

UAPB
At Oklahoma State
UAB
Texas A&M – Dallas
La. Tech
LSU
Ole Miss
Tennessee
Texas
At Auburn
At Miss State
At Mizzou

9 Wins = Awesome
8 Wins = Great
7 Wins = Good
6 Wins = Average
5 Wins = Disaster

We would imagine Sam’s gonna need 7 Wins Minimum in 2024 to return to coach Arkansas in 2025 with 6 Wins not making anyone happy and 5 Wins…

Turn out the Lights and Sell the Jukebox because this is OVER!

Get Em Sam!

4.  Billy Napier, Florida – It was good to see the Florida Gators with some fight on Saturday night against Missouri, especially compared to USC which didn’t even show-up to play against UCLA at home, but this is FLORIDA we are talking about here and Billy Boy Napier now sitting on records at UF of…

Overall:  11 – 13
SEC:  6 – 10

This is FLORIDA we are talking about here and in his first 2 years on the job Billy Boy has gone…

6 – 7
5 – 6

…and Dan Mullen in his first 2 years at Florida went >

10 – 3
11 – 2

This is FLORIDA we are talking about here so Billy Napier is in a Helluva spot with an undefeated Florida State team coming to town next week, although without their Starting QB, and if Billy Boy loses to the Seminoles to post a losing season in Year 2….

This is FLORIDA we are talking about there….Right?

5.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – After back-to-back losses by the scores of…

59 – 25
42 – 17

….the Baylor football program is in a Total Free-Fall and watching Dave Aranda after the loss to TCU it seems Dave doesn’t have a Damn Clue what is going on with his own football program…

46 Games into his tenure at Baylor!

It’s easy to see football programs where the Players have quit listening to the Coaches like at Baylor but it’s often difficult to know why the Players are no longer listening to the Coaches and really impossible for us at Coaches Hot Seat to know what is going on inside the Baylor Football Program in Waco but there’s something going on that is causing this Rolling Disaster that has caused the Bears to post a record of…

3 – 12

…in their last 15 games!

If Dave Aranda looks closely enough at the Baylor Football Program, things He and his Coaches have or haven’t done, and other issues around the Bears Program and the Baylor campus itself he will more than likely find what is causing this Rolling Disaster and often the very best place to look when a sports team or workplace is in chaos, dysfunction, and is under-achieving is the Leader looking right into the mirror at his or her own actions….or lack of action on 1 or more things!

Baylor now at 3 – 8 on the season has one game left….hosting West Virginia next Saturday and we would recommend that Dave Aranda win this game or at the very least make it a close game because another blowout in this spot and that could be it for the Aranda era at Baylor!

6.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – With the Nevada loss to Colorado State on Saturday that leaves Head Coach Ken Wilson’s records at Nevada…

Overall:  4 – 19
MWC:  2 – 13

That’s plenty said on this situation!

7.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – We saw that Tillman Fertitta the University of Houston Super-Booster said that…

Dana Holgorsen will be back to Coach Houston in 2024

…and only thing we can say to Tillman besides…

“We need some more rolls and butter out here and Pronto Son!”

…is that Ole Tillman must have some Really Low Expectations for Houston Football if he thinks 4 – 7 is Acceptable Football and the Cougs still have to play a road game at UCF to round out their first season in the Big 12 which could see a…

2 – 7

…record in Big 12 play!

Oh but Tillman says…

“We won a couple of Big 12 games!”

Oh that’s Rich and when the Hell you gonna get those Rolls and Butter out to us Son?

Ole Tillman did say…

“Next year we’ll expect a lot more.”

Fine but we expected those Rolls and Butter out here 15 minutes ago and they ain’t here yet Son!

8.  Mario Cristobal, Miami – Mario Cristobal’s Overall Record at FIU, Oregon, and Miami >

73 – 72

Mario Cristobal’s Overall Record at Miami >

11 – 12

Y’all starting to notice a trend here?

Good then your ass has a 2+ IQ and after the loss to Louisville on Saturday the Canes in Year 2 under Mario are at 6 – 5 with a game left…

At Boston College

…and a BC Head Coach in Jeff Hafley who REALLY needs a win and if Miami loses this game and ends up at…

11 – 13

…in 2 years on the job for Mario then what in Hell is this Boy being paid for because this ain’t it!

Oh….Miami under Mario record in ACC play >

5 – 10

That ain’t good at Duke so it sure the Hell ain’t good at Miami!

9.  Matt Rhule, Nebraska – There’s just no explaining the end of the Nebraska at Wisconsin game when it comes to the Huskers clock management and if Nebraska had found a way to substitute Bozo the Clown for Matt Rhule in 4 th quarter of that game the Huskers more than likely beaten Wisconsin but since the man that played Bozo has been dead for years now that wasn’t possible but Hell you could have dressed up Any Damn Moron in a Bozo outfit and he or she done better than Rhule handling things in yet another loss for Nebraska…the hits just keep coming…and now it’s…

Beat Iowa at home or Losing Season for Year 1 under Matt Rhule at Nebraska!

Hey….maybe put Any Random Guy in the Bozo outfit on the sideline coaching the Huskers against Iowa and give him $25 and a voucher for 50% off at Chuck-E-Cheese and Hell Nebraska will at least have a chance against the Hawkeyes and that’s something for AD Trev Alberts to give a good deal of thought about this week and we know where you can get your hands on a Bozo outfit Trev so give us a ring if you decide to go that route Son!

10.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – Somehow the 3 – 7 New Mexico Lobos went to the Central Valley of California on Saturday night and knocked off Fresno State to move to 4 – 7 on the season with game against Utah State at home left to play and Danny Gonzeles’ records at UNM are now…

Overall:  11 – 31
MWC:  5 – 25

That’s ain’t good folks…not good at all!

11.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College – Just when you thought that Jeff Hafley had gotten his ass off the Hot Seat for 2023 by reeling off 5 straight wins his BC Eagles turn around and lose 2 straight games and here comes Miami to Boston to end the season and since Hafley’s records at BC are now…

Overall:  21 – 25
ACC:  12 – 21

…we recommend he beats the Canes in this 2023 season finale because a loss in this spot to Mario and the Sputtering Canes would be nothing short of a Total Disaster!

12.  Brent Pry, Virginia Tech – Brent Pry if anything is Inconsistent as All Get Out and after losing to NC State on Saturday the Hokies now have to win the last game of the season against a surging Virginia team on the road to get to 6 Wins in 2023 and…

We are talking about VIRGINIA TECH here…aren’t we?

Yep we are and in 2 years on the job in Blacksburg Brent Pry is now sitting on records of..

Overall:  8 – 14
ACC:  5 – 9

That’s is nothing short of a Total Disaster when talking about VIRGINIA TECH Football and just by comparison Justin Fuente who was run out of Blacksburg to hire Pry had records in his first 2 seasons at Va. Tech of…

Overall:  19 – 8
ACC:  11 – 5

Don’t lose this game to Virginia Son…just don’t do it!

Let’s Play Football!

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – These Prima Donna Million $$$ Head Coaches Need To Get Off Their Worthless Asses and Show Up and Work!

November 13, 2023 0 Comments

 

Post Week 11 of the 2023 CFB Season is done and that’s just Not Believable but onto Week 12 we go!

The Coaches Hot Seat Member who normally writes the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis each week during the season is traveling in Europe on business so wasn’t here last week to do the Post Week 10 write-up and he’s not back yet as he is still working to drum-up more business on the Continent so we have a pinch-hitter at the plate and believe this is usually the spot we bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell so come on out Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Tom Allen, Indiana – Tom Allen is a Good Man who has done a decent job at Indiana but with 3 Straight Losing Seasons now locked-in we doubt Tom will survive to coach the Hoosiers in 2024 but what in Hell do we know?

With the loss to the Illini on Saturday the Hoosiers are now 3 – 7 with games left against…

Michigan State
At Purdue

Hell…both those games are Winnable so let’s see if you can win the them Tom and Good Luck to You Coach!

2.  Sam Pittman, Arkansas – Sam Pittman also a Good Man who has gotten behind the 8-Ball at Arkansas and we not are not quite sure why the Hogs weren’t ready to play Auburn at home after a Big Win over the Gators on the road but a devastating and disastrous loss to Florida leaves Arkansas at 3 – 7 with games left against…

FIU
Missouri

Hell….Arkansas can win both those games and finish at 5 – 7 and maybe Sam can get this thing straightened-out in the offseason but what in the Hell do we know?

3.  Billy Napier, Florida – It’s hard to know what to make of Billy Napier at Florida who has Severely Underperformed with the Gators compared to recent Florida Head Coaches and here’s how recent UF Coaches done in their first 2 years on the job realizing Billy Boy now sitting on record of…

11 – 12

Gators HCs after 2 seasons >

Dan Mullen:  21 – 5
Jim McElwain:  19 – 8
Will Muschamp:  15 – 11
Urban Meyer:  22 – 4
Ron Zook:  16 – 10
Steve Spurrier:  19 – 4
Galen Hall:  17 – 1 – 1

That’s why Billy has been nothing short of a Total Disaster and we haven’t a clue what we would do if we hired as AD at Florida tomorrow besides sitting down with Napier and finding out…

Just what in the Hell is going on here Son?

Florida is now at 5 – 5 on the season has left in 2023…

At Mizzou
Florida State

That looks like 5 – 7 to us and that would leave Napier’s 2-year record at Florida at…

11 – 14

What in the Hell is going on in Gainesville exactly to cause that and for the life of us and we cannot think of 1 Damn Reason why this could possibly happen but then what in the Hell do we know?

4.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – In 4 seasons at New Mexico Danny Gonzales records are >

Overall:   10 – 31
MWC:  4 – 25

Enough said on that.

5.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – In Dave Aranda’s last 14 games his record is…

3 – 11

3 and Freaking 11!

What in the Hell is going on in Waco exactly?

Aranda’s Records at Baylor >

Overall:  23 – 23
Big 12:  15 – 19

That’s just Damn Pitiful and 3 – 7 Bears have left in 2023 >

At TCU
West Virginia

That looks like 3 – 9 to us and that’s just Damn Pitiful and is driven by an Arrogance that Dave Aranda believes he knows more about the Game of Football than anyone else on Earth, in our humble opinion, and not surprisingly the Baylor Bears are getting their asses handed to them which is not surprising to us at all!

6.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – With the loss to Utah State on Saturday Nevada’s record in 2023 dropped to 2 – 8 and Head Coach Ken Wilson’s Records at UNR now stand at >

Overall:   4 – 18
MWC:  2 – 12

Nevada has left this season games against…

At Colorado State
Wyoming

That looks like 2 – 10 to us and enough said on that!

7.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – Saturday’s home loss to a Hapless Cincinnati team was Holgorsen’s 57 th game as the Head Coach at Houston and if that’s what your ass is going to put on the field in your 57 th game at a job like Houston paying your ass $3M+ a season then your ass should be fired on the field right after the game!

Now at 4 – 6 on the season for Houston with games left against…

Oklahoma State
At UCF

…Holgorsen may very well end up with Another Losing Season at Houston which be…

3 Losing Seasons in 5 Years on the job!

What in the Hell?

Hell, that’s worse than Jimbo Fisher and Fisher’s ass just got run out of College Station even though he had a $77M buyout!

8.  Zach Arnett, Mississippi State – What we don’t get about Zach Arnett’s tenure at Mississippi State is just why in the Hell with a returning QB who is very Damn good QB running The Pirate’s system why change to an offense different from the one that Mike Leach had such great success with in Starkville?

It Just Makes No Damn Sense At All!

With the destruction of the Bulldogs by Texas A&M that leaves Miss State at 4 – 6 on the year with games left against…

Southern Miss
Ole Miss

We would Highly Recommend Zach winning both of these games if he wants to hold onto his job and for Damn sure if we were hiring a Head Coach at Mississippi State we would find a Coach that could run an up-tempo offense that was the same or something similar to what The Pirate ran in Starkville because that’s the…

Only Damn Way at MSU Your Ass Is Winning in the SEC Conference folks!

9.  Lincoln Riley, USC – You have to wonder…

Is Lincoln Riley just a Damn Moron, is he just Very Stubborn, or is the Boy just a Damn Moron because Everyone with a 2+ IQ saw that the Trojans Defense cost USC a shot at a National Title last season but Ole Lincoln Boy comes back with…

Same DC with Same Crapola Defense and has to run that DC in the middle of the season because of that Same Crapola Defense!

What exactly is your ass thinking Riley or does your ass even know 2 + 2 and/or that your ass has to play Some Kind of Damn Defense to Win Something Son?

USC has now lost 4 of their last 5 games and shoulda have lost at Cal and could have easily lost to Arizona and Colorado too because of that…

Same Crapola Defense

…and now the 7 – 4 Trojans who Bozo the Clown could have coached to 10 Wins Minimum have left in 2023…

UCLA

…at the Coliseum and the Bruins are playing Crapola Football too as well so this should be a Humdinger of a Game with the Losing Head Coach having his ass launched onto the…

Face of the Sun Hot Seat!

10.  Mario Cristobal, Miami – In 2 seasons at Miami Mario Cristobal is now sitting on a record of…

11 – 11

…and the 6 – 4 Canes have games left against…

Louisville
At Boston College

…this season and Hell Miami could easily lose both of those games and here are Miami HCs records after 2 seasons on the job >

Manny Diaz:  14 – 10
Mark Richt:  19 – 7
Al Golden:  13 – 11
Randy Shannon:  12 – 13
Larry Coker:  24 – 1
Butch Davis:  17 – 6
Dennis Erickson:  21 – 3
Jimmy Johnson:  18 – 7
Howard Schnellenberger:  14 – 9

Hell….Mario Cristobal could end up with the Worst Damn First 2 Years of a Head Coach in Modern Miami Football History and save us the Horseshit that Mario took over a worse situation than some of the above Coaches!

That’s Absolute Crapola and for Mario to claim that is Total Horseshit and how a Damn Loser talks!

It’s Miami Son! Quit Crying and Coach Your Damn Team and Earn that $10M a season or resign but whichever….Quit Your Damn Crying and Excuse-Making your Prima Donna Piece of Crapola who hasn’t done…

1 Damn Thing In Your Entire Life to have EARNED the Right to Coach Miami and you get the job anyway and cry to anyone and everyone that your ass took over a disaster!

That’s Horseshit!

11.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – Butch Jones in 3 seasons at Arkansas State >

Overall:  10 – 24
Sun Belt:  5 – 17

Oh the 5 – 5 Red Wolves have left in 2023…

Texas State
At Marshall

We Highly Recommend Butch beat Texas State on Saturday and Marshall on November 25!

12.  Matt Rhule, Nebraska – Tell you what we are Damn Tired Of here at Coaches Hot Seat >

Coaches making $9M+ a year and putting teams on the field that perform like Total Crapola as if…

Their Asses Are Not Even Coached at All

…which is the way that Nebraska played against Maryland at home on Saturday!

Just what in the Hell is your ass doing all week Matt because if you are going to claim that You and the Nebraska Coaches were actually Coaching the Huskers last week in the run-up to the Terps game…

All Your Damn Asses should be fired Right Damn Now!

Memo to Matt Rhule >  Get off Your Lazy Damn Ass and Start Coaching Nebraska and if your ass isn’t interested in Coaching the Huskers then your ass needs to be run out of Lincoln as well and this time the folks at Nebraska can hire…

Bozo the Clown because at least Bozo’s ass would show up and Do His Damn Job which your ass is not doing Son!

$9M+ a year and your ass loses at home to a Pitiful Maryland team….Geez…

Matt Rhule’s ass should be fired tonight and put on Greyhound Bus to Loserville USA where his ass would be right at Damn Home!

The now 5 – 5 Huskers have left this season…

At Wisconsin
Iowa

Got 5 – 7?

You gonna have it Nebraska fans because Matt Rhule’s ass ain’t gonna do Damn anything because if his ass actually showed up and worked the Nebraska team would…wait for it…

Show Up and Play Football!

Matt Rhule = Just Another Overpaid Worthless Excuse for a Head Coach who needs to get his Worthless Ass run and run out of football FOREVER!

Let’s Play Football!

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking – Ring of Fire These Hot Seat Coaches Johnny! – Thanks Mr. Cash!

October 16, 2023 0 Comments

 

Where indeed does the time go because we got 7 weeks of the 2023 College Football Season in the books and it seems like it went by in minutes and yet Week 7 is done and Week 8 is a coming quick which means let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to do some Ring of Fire on these Hot Seat Coaches!

Light Em Up Johnny!

Thanks Mr. Cash!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – A Totally Shocking Record to consider when you realize that Jimbo Fisher has been paid $50M+ $$$ Large at Texas A&M is his record in this last 20 games with the Aggies >

9 – 11

Yep….9 and Freaking 11!

That was Jimbo Fisher’s 67 th games as the Head Coach of the Aggies and it seems that the further we get into the Fisher Era at A&M the worse it gets and what about this…

13 Points?

13 Points is all you can score on Tennessee with Jimbo and Bobby Petrino at the controls of the Aggies Offense?

Just what in the Hell are these folks doing at Aggies practices because you could literally just leave a bag of footballs out on the practice field and let the team practice itself and do now worse…Hell the Aggies Players coaching themselves probably do better and that reality has gotta hurt when….

You ass is paying Jimbo’s ass $9M+ a year

Oh….Jimbo’s buyout at the end of the 2023 season is…wait for it…$77M Large!

This is Damn Idiocy on a scale not seen since Kansas hired Cheeseburger Charlie Weis and one really does have to wonder how much longer the Oil Boys gonna tolerate this Crapola but then come on now…

This is Texas A&M and your ass cannot spell Horseshit Mediocrity without using A&M in there somewhere!

Be Damn Proud you Damn Morons in Aggieland and keep this Train a Rolling on down the track and what choice do you have except to…

Tolerate Horseshit Mediocrity or Write Jimbo’s Ass a Big Check and from our personal experience…

The Aggies Oil Boys would take down the Whole State of Texas and America itself before they EVER admit their asses wrong about something so…

Let the Total Destruction of Aggies Football keep on a rolling right down the track!

2.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – With the loss to UNLV on Saturday by the score of 45 – 27 which has a first year Head Coach in Barry Odom and appears to be totally revitalized under Odom when Nevada looks totally listless that leaves Wilson’s record in 2 years at UNR at >

2 – 16

Yes…maybe Nevada can run table and finish at 6 – 6 but with these games left…

At San Diego State
New Mexico
Hawaii
At Utah State
At Colorado State
Wyoming

….but reality is just 2 wins would probably be an accomplishment for this Wolf Pack team which says all you gotta know about Wilson at this moment!

2 – 10 would be a Damn Accomplishment!

3.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – With a 52 – 24 home loss to San Jose State on Saturday to drop Danny Gonzales records with the Lobos in 4 years on the job to…

Overall:  9 – 28
MWC:  3 – 22

….you can send the Fat Lady out onto the stage unless Danny is holding something back because now at 2 – 4 with these games left…

Hawaii
At Nevada
UNLV
At Boise State
At Fresno State
Utah State

…how in the world could the Lobos get to 6 Wins in 2023 which Gonzales will probably need to return to coach New Mexico in 2024?

4.  Tom Allen, Indiana – We gave Indiana ZERO chance to beat Michigan on Saturday and although the 52 – 7 drubbing was worse than we expected there was just No Damn Chance the Hoosiers were going to win that game at the Big House which says a lot about Indiana and Michigan football right now and with the loss IU is now…

2 – 4

…on the season with games left against >

Rutgers
At Penn State
Wisconsin
At Illinois
Michigan State
At Purdue

Indiana has a shot at winning 6 games in 2023 but they GOTTA beat Rutgers this coming Saturday at home to have any chance of that happening!

This is The Damn Game Tommy Boy and you just GOTTA beat Rutgers on Saturday so for Damn Sure let everything you got and then some out of the barn Son!

As John Madden always told his Oakland Raiders teams at halftime >

“Don’t worry about the horse being blind. Just load the wagon!”

5.  Justin Wilcox, California – In 7 seasons at California Justin Wilcox has posted

Two .500+ Seasons

…and with the loss to Utah on Saturday his records now stand at >

Overall:  33 – 40
Pac-12:  18 – 35

Cal Football is a Damn Mess and Hell Cal Athletics is a Damn Mess as well having a TON of Debt and headed to the ACC Conference in 2023 where they gonna make a lot less $$$ than they would made in the Pac-12 and we haven’t a clue where the Football or Athletic Programs going but it would be nice for Wilcox and the Bears to win a few games down the stretch of 2023 season with games against >

USC
At Oregon
Washington State
At Stanford
At UCLA

Damn….Cal might not win another game and finish the 2023 season at….

3 – 9!

6.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – Baylor had a bye in Week 7 and Dave Aranda and the Bears were probably happy for that after getting their asses whipped by Texas Tech at home in Week 6 and now at 2 – 4 on the season they have a road trip game at Cincinnati and Dave Aranda really needs to win this game or this…

Whole Damn Rodeo could go right into the Brazos River and we talking about the Deep End of the Brazos River!

Baylor has left in 2023…

At Cincinnati
Iowa State
Houston
At Kansas State
At TCU
West Virginia

….and Hell Baylor might not win another game this season!

We know what’s gone wrong at Baylor but does Dave Aranda know?

We doubt it because if he did know he would fix it…we think!

7.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – After getting their asses whipped in Week 6 Butch Jones and Arkansas State had bye in Week 7 and now it’s back to Football for the 3 – 3 Red Wolves who really should get to at least 6 Wins in 2023 with this relatively easy schedule left to play >

Coastal Carolina
At La. Monroe
Louisiana
At South Alabama
Texas State
At Marshall

Check That…Butch and ASU Better Damn Win their next 2 games against Coastal Carolia and La. Monroe because those last 4 games are all gonna be tough places to get a Win!

Get Off Your Ass Butch!

8.  Billy Napier, Florida – Billy Boy Napier and Florida went on the road and got a much-needed win against South Carolina and at the end of the game Beamer Boy was blaming everyone he could point to but his own ass for the Gamecocks loss and now Florida at…

5 – 2

…have games left against…

Georgia in Jacksonville
Arkansas
At LSU
At Mizzou
Florida State

One has gotta think Georgia beats Florida and that LSU, Mizzou, and Florida State are gonna be tough games to get a Win in for the Gators so if Florida is going bowling in 2023 they better Damn beat Arkansas at Florida Field on November 4 or this Gators Train will go right into the swamp and there ain’t no getting out of the swamp once your ass gets into it!

9.  Mario Cristobal, Miami – Mario, Mario, Mario….if your ass had just taken a knee and beaten Georgia Tech that loss to North Carolina on Saturday not looked so bad but with that loss the Canes are now at….

4 – 2

…on the season with games left against…

Clemson
Virginia
At NC State
At Florida State
Louisville
At Boston College

Oh Momma….could Miami be playing Boston College in late November in what will probably be bad Boston weather to get their asses to 6 Wins and a bowl game?

Maybe So and that would be a Total Disaster for No Kneel Mario!

10. Dana Holgorsen, Houston – Talk about your ass being in the frying pan and about to cooked-up for dinner then an earthquake happens and your ass is flipped out of the frying pan and into a bowl of cool water that’s what happened with Dana Holgorsen’s ass on Thursday night as the Cougars pulled a victory out of you know where on a Hail Mary to beat West Virginia and saved Holgo’s ass…for now that is!

Houston is now 3 – 3 on the season but there’s no rest for the weary and Dana’s ass could go right back into the frying pan and quick because look at the Cougs upcoming schedule >

Texas
At Kansas State
At Baylor
Cincinnati
Oklahoma State
At UCF

How in Hell exactly is Houston gonna win 3 of their remaining 6 games to just get to bowl eligibility?

Hell if we know!

Get out the Old Bay and put it on Dana because his ass is about to go right back into the frying pan!

11.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College – Boston College had a bye in Week 7 but the Eagles are back to Big Boy Football in Week 8 with a record of 3 – 3 and games in 2023 left against >

At Georgia Tech
UConn
At Syracuse
Virginia Tech
At Pitt
Miami

Can BC find 3 more wins to get bowl eligible in 2023?

Is there a chance that the Sun will rise in the West in the morning?

Not A Damn Chance in Hell of either happening!

12.  Brent Pry, Virginia Tech – Hey now the Hokies have won 2 of their last 3 games and showed signs of life against Wake Forest so maybe Brent Pry’s ass has finally woken up and his ass has realized that Life Is Right Damn Now and his ass Better Start Winning Right Damn Now and 3 – 4 Virginia Tech has another very winnable home game against Syracuse on Saturday that the Hokies Better Damn Win because a loss in this spot with these games left after the Orange…

At Louisville
At Boston College
NC State
At Virginia

…there’s only 1 Sure Win left on the schedule and that’s at Virginia on November 25 and that’s an in-state rival game and really Damn anything could happen in Charlottesville so…

Memo to Brent Pry > Don’t lose to Syracuse Son!

Let’s Play Football!

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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Post Week 6 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Ring of Fire These Hot Seat Coaches Johnny! – Thanks Mr. Cash and Say Hello to June Carter!

October 11, 2023 0 Comments

 

Goodness Gracious where does the time go because we now got 6 Weeks of College Football on the books in 2023 and away we go to Week 7 and let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to get things rolling here for these Hot Seat Coaches!

Thank You Mr. Cash and say Hell to June Carter!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo…Oh Jimbo…what in the Hell is wrong with your ass Son?

We have folks at Coaches Hot Seat known Jimbo since he was playing Quarterback from Terry Bowden at Samford University in a suburb south of Birmingham, Alabama and they and all of us have been tremendously disappointed at what Jimbo has done…or rather hasn’t done…with Aggies Football the last 6 seasons.

Jimbo’s Records at A&M now stand at…

Overall: 43 – 23
SEC: 25 – 19

…and having been paid now North of $50M and there’s at least another…

$100M+ invested in Aggies Football the last 6 seasons

…you gotta wonder just how long the Oil Boys gonna be satisfied with this Mediocre Horseshit but maybe we been reading these Oil Boys wrong and…

Mediocre Horseshit is Just Fine and Dandy for their asses!

Alrighty then but the Aggies are now 4 – 2 on the season and have left to play in 2023…

At Tennessee
South Carolina
At Ole Miss
Mississippi State
Abilene Christian
At LSU

We are gonna assume that the Aggies beat at home…

South Carolina, Mississippi State, and Abilene Christian

…which is 7 Wins but how many of these 3 SEC Games on the road the Aggies gonna win?

No idea…but we would recommend that Jimbo beat the Vols at Neyland on Saturday because you can only run a Con for so long before eventually even the Slow on the Uptake Oil Boys will says…

“Whoa Nellie! This ain’t right now…you hear?”

2.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – Nevada had a bye in Week 6 but Ken Wilson’s 15 game losing streak at UNR rolls on and the Wolf Pack have a Huge Game in Reno on Saturday hosting Big Rival UNLV which has a 1 st year Head Coach in Barry Odom and we recommend that…

Kenny Boy not lose this game or it probably be…

3.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – The New Mexico Lobos had a bye in Week 6 and are now at 2 – 3 on the season with these games left to be played…

San Jose State
Hawaii
At Nevada
UNLV
At Boise State
At Fresno State
Utah State

Danny Boy really needs to get to 6 Wins and a Bowl Game in his 4 th year on the job so we would recommend you win these next 2 games at home against San Jose State and Hawaii and then you got Hapless Nevada on the road which should be 5 Wins easy Son!

Get Off Your Ass Danny!

4.  Billy Napier, Florida – The Florida Gators beat Vanderbilt at home in Week 6 which his like saying the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team beat the Sisters of the Blind, Deaf, and Mute Football Team and now it’s back to Big Boy Football for Florida in Week 7 with a trip to South Carolina and a loss in this spot to drop the Gators to 4 – 3 on the season with Georgia up next….

Got Total Damn Disaster?

Yep…that’s what your ass would have!

Get Off Your Ass Billy!

5.  Tom Allen, Indiana – Week 6 must have been Bye Week for Hot Seat Coaches Week because this is the 3 rd Hot Seat Coach + Team that had Week 6 off and the Hoosiers now at 2 – 3 on the season have to go to Ann Arbor to play Michigan which the way Blue playing is probably gonna be a loss so that’s 2 – 4 and then IU has left after that >

Rutgers
At Penn State
Wisconsin
At Illinois
Michigan State
At Purdue

The last 3 seasons Tom Allen’s record at Indiana now stands at…

8 – 21

…and that ain’t good…even at Indiana…and the Hoosiers really need to get to 6 Wins in 2023 to give Tom a chance to return to IU in 2024 which probably means beating 4 of these 5 remaining opponents >

Rutgers
Wisconsin
Illinois
Michigan State
Purdue

That’s Doable…Very Doable!

Get Off Your Ass Tom!

6.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – Yet another Hot Seat Coach in Dana Holgorsen had a bye in Week 6 which is now 4 Hot Seat Coaches and the Cougars get back to football this week with a Thursday night home game against West Virginia which is a game that 2 – 3 Houston and Dana Holgorsen…

Just Cannot Lose!

Dana Holgorsen is being paid a big piss-pot full of money at Houston and his records at UH now stand at…

Overall:  29 – 23
Conference:  18 – 14

…and that ain’t so Damn good when your ass is being paid…

A Big Piss-Pot Full of Money

….and Hell if Houston loses to West Virginia tomorrow night they might not even make it to a bowl game with this schedule still remaining to be played >

Texas
At Kansas State
At Baylor
Cincinnati
Oklahoma State
At UCF

Geez….this could get Ugly…Very Ugly in Houston if the Cougs lose to surging West Virginia tomorrow night!

Get Off Your Ass Dana!

7.  Brent Pry, Virginia Tech – Brent Pry in 2 seasons at Virginia Tech is sitting on records of…

Overall:  5 – 12
ACC:  2 – 7

…and those 5 Wins have been over >

Boston College
Wofford
Liberty
Old Dominion
Pitt

Got Pitiful?

Yep…that’s Pitiful and now the Hokies at 2 – 4 on the season are a Crossroads of Sorts for the Brent Pry era with 2 back-to-back home games against…

Wake Forest
Syracuse

….and these are 2 games that EVERY Virginia Tech Head Coach in his 2 nd year on the job should win and let’s see what Brent can do but if the Hokies somehow lost these 2 games….

8.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – The Best Thing about the meltdown of Dave Aranda at Baylor is that it’s a Helluva Lesson for Football Coaches on what NOT TO DO which is what Dave Aranda has done in Waco >

Become so Damn Arrogant believing that your ass invented the Game of Football that you sit around on your Lazy Ass and do Damn Nothing while other teams are coming up with all kinds of ways to whip your ass and now you know why Aranda’s ass is on the Hot Seat and will remain there until he is run out of Waco…unless the Boy changes his ways and quick!

In his last 10 Games Dave Aranda’s record at Baylor is now…

2 – 8

…and one of those wins was over a UCF team that totally melted down at home and it coulda been 1 – 9 easy!

Baylor now at 2 – 4 on the season has a bye in Week 7 but the Bears have left on their 2023 schedule >

At Cincinnati
Iowa State
Houston
At Kansas State
At TCU
West Virginia

The Baylor Offense is no doubt Pretty Average right now but everyone told us that Dave Aranda was a Defensive Whiz and while inventing the Game of Football he always invented Defensive Football as well and right now the Baylor Defense in Scoring or Giving Up Points is…

#100!

Memo to Dave Aranda > Find a Mirror Son and admit to yourself that your ass didn’t invent the Game of Football in America then get your ass to work because right now your ass is on a path to be run out of Waco and out of coaching totally!

9.  Butch Jones, Arkansas – After ringing up 3 wins over Total Cupcakes the Arkansas State Red Wolves got back to Big Boy Football in Week 6 and promptly….

Got Their Asses Handed To Them!

…by Troy by the score of…

37 – 3!

Now at 3 – 3 on the season and Butch really needing 6 Wins to hang onto his job at Arkansas State the Red Wolves have left to play in 2023…

Coastal Carolina
At La. Monroe
Louisiana
At South Alabama
Texas State
At Marshall

If Butch Jones can’t win 3 of these last 6 games then his ass should be fired!

Get Off Your Ass Butch!

10.  Justin Wilcox, California – Cal put up a decent fight before losing at home to a really solid Oregon State team and that dropped the Bears record in 2023 to 3 – 3 in a year when Justin Wilcox really needs to get to 6 Wins and get to a bowl game to get some kind of momentum going as Cal heads to the ACC in 2024 and the Bears have left to play this season >

At Utah
USC
At Oregon
Washington State
At Stanford
At UCLA

Geez…getting 3 more wins ain’t gonna be easy….not easy at all!

Get Off Your Ass Justin!

11.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College – After back-to-back 3 point wins over Virginia and Army things have quieted down a bit at Boston College but the now 3 – 3 Eagles are back to Big Boy Football with a trip to play at Georgia Tech on Saturday before finishing the season with these games >

UConn
At Syracuse
Virginia Tech
At Pitt
Miami

Geez…Hafley is 6 – 12 in the last 2 seasons at Boston College and it’s highly doubtful he will be able to get 3 more wins to get BC bowl eligible in 2023 which has gotta be a Helluva problem on Chestnut Hill where you should be able to take the Eagles to bowl game at MINIMUM every Damn year!

12.  Mario Cristobal, Miami – Ole Miami had beaten 4 Pretty Bad or Average Teams…

Miami (Ohio)
Texas A&M
Bethune-Cookman
Temple

…before they gave that game away to Georgia Tech on Saturday and now the Canes have back-to-back…

At North Carolina
Clemson

If Miami loses these 2 games to drop to 4 – 3 on the season then what in the Hell is the point of Mario Cristobal being the Head Coach at Miami?

There Is None!

After the Tar Heels and Tigers what is left is…

Virginia
At NC State
At Florida State
Louisville
At Boston College

Hell…if Miami is 4 – 3 after Week 8 then they might struggle to get to 6 Wins in 2023!

Get Off Your Ass Mario!

Let’s Play Football!

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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#4 Hot Seat – Mario Cristobal – Miami

August 24, 2023 0 Comments

 

Oh Where Oh Where Are You Johnny Cash? There you are!

Thanks Mr. Cash!

#4 Hot Seat – Mario Cristobal – Miami

If you look at the 4 Head Coaches of the Miami Hurricanes that preceded Mario Cristobal in Coral Gables that either got fired or left because they didn’t like how things were being run at the school, you quickly see why Mario Cristobal better get the Good Ship Canes righted and quick because that 5 – 7 record that Mario put up in Year 1 wasn’t not only tolerated in the past….

ALL of those 4 Miami Head Coaches had Winning Records and are gone from the school!

Randy Shannon:  28 – 22
Al Golden:  32 – 25
Mark Richt:  26 – 12
Manny Diaz:  21 – 15

Mario Cristobal:  5 – 7

Oh Mario your ass better get things moving and QUICK Son or you are going to get your ass run right out of Miami and that brings us to the Canes 2023 schedule >

Miami (OH)
Texas A&M
Bethune-Cookman
At Temple
Georgia Tech
At North Carolina
Clemson
Virginia
At NC State
At Florida State
Louisville
At Boston College

Well…right off the bat we see that Bozo the Clown would win 7 Games Minimum coaching Miami in 2023 but how many games will Mario Win?

Well, he better Damn Win 8+ Games for starters but if we had to put $$$ down on the barrel-top on how many games that Miami will Win in 2023 we go with…

7 or 8

It Better Damn Be 8+ Wins Mario!

Let’s Play Football

Coaches Hot Seat, Coaches Hot Seat Quote of the Day

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